Poetry Readers

Poetry Readers

To Read More Poets

  • 22 forum topics
  • 112 wall posts
  • Created Tue Oct 17, 2017 12:38 am

← Back to Forum

"Kintsugi" by Shinji Moon

5 posts in this topic.

  1. There are inconsistencies in line-after-line-break capitalization due to formatting on Tumblr (because I'm too lazy to type from my book on a shelf I cannot find. Enjoy.)

    “How often”, she asked me the night before
    “Do you think it’s okay to fall apart?”
    We live in a “break it, you pay” kind of culture
    A handle falls off of
    A coffee mug and suddenly- the entire thing is useless. We lean to sweep evidence beneath the rug, throw broken pieces into a paper bag and never think about them again.
    The Japanese knew another way. They mended their broken vases with gold, aggrandized the sharp corners and turned shards of broken pottery into basins that hold light
    Together.
    But here, there’s no room for mistakes.
    We give up so easily- on broken toys, snapped piano legs, on each other- and we make believe that even out tongues are bulletproof, as if we are stronger than what these fragile bones can take.
    We don’t forgive our broken bowls. We don’t learn to piece them back together. We trip over our own skeletons.
    And sweep them back beneath our skin; collect the splattering of our sorrows and flush them down the toilet like
    Secrets. Were so ashamed of that which fumbles and falls through our fingers that we forget that
    There’s another way; another way instead of going through our days buying coffee at five A.M. And f---ing above the covers while rattling and spilling over, our insides bleeding from all the damn glass.
    We were never taught that
    By the end our lives, we didn’t have to be made of a hundred million cracks. We were never taught that we could have it differently, that we could piece ourselves back together with light,
    That our bodies could burn from the inside out.


    1. Do you believe the poem has more strength in its contemporary appeal, or its message?

    2. Is the theme clear? Perhaps too clear? Why so?

    3. The use of profanity and explicit material is striking in artistry of all kinds. In which way does it strike you in this example, and do you feel it brought more or took away from the poem?

    4. How would you describe the flow of the piece?

    5. Would you recommend this poet based on this one work, as first impressions go?
  2. *rolls in with sniffles*

    Mmkay sorry if this is terribly not deep, not well-thought-out, and not well-explained. Whatever I had has settled into my head and sinuses, which is at least an improvement over an inflamed throat, but I'm still kind of fuzzy.

    1. I like both - I definitely prefer contemporary poetry, free verse, and strong imagery with lots of figurative language (even though it's sometimes harder to understand), but the message is also kind of a nice one. But I probably find the most strength in the style.

    2. The theme is incredibly clear. I don't know if I'd exactly say too clear, although there's certainly no real missing it, but what's wrong with a poem being clear while still maintaining a good poetic feel? Although I did roll my eyes just a little at the Japanese pottery - it feels like a cliche to mention it using this theme, only because of the image of said pottery that's made its way around all the social media sites. Like even if this guy mentioned it before that image became so popular, at this point it feels like an unoriginal idea to compare this repaired pottery to broken human beings.

    3. This may seem counterintuitive, but I thought the use of "f--king" worked while "damn" did not. The first gives me a particular meaning in the way it was used (as a verb): sex that's maybe pointless, meaningless, perhaps a bit desperate and a way to try to feel better or to not feel at all, and I don't think there's another word in the English language (that I'm aware of) that would get quite all that across for me. Whereas "damn" was just an adjective, not one I found particularly useful or striking, and somehow it just didn't fit for me. Maybe just because it didn't add anything.

    4. I don't have the mental energy to do this one right now. It didn't trip me up while reading, anyway.

    5. I would give more of this person's poetry a try. I feel like this poet might be incredibly hit or miss for me, where there might be some pieces I adore but not enough for me to buy an entire book of it.
  3. I like your point, @BlueAfrica, on how "f--king" is an example of language that represents a superlative of hollowness while the other expletive is just there as a...hollow word, I suppose. I think it's a good example of how mighty the power of precise word choice is for free-verse poets (and I say free-verse because measured poetry may not allow precise word choice without alchemical give-and-take.)

    For me, executing a simple or common concept in an appealing way as a wordsmith is a very demonstratively skillful feat. I think it's why I return to a lot of the same themes in my poetry? Because I personally want to find one that masters a concept or theme and puts my poetic voice on a level I can gleam a standard from. I'd consider this poem a standard for poets I help educate and edit.
  4. Honestly I've never really analyzed why sometimes cursing in poetry bothers me and sometimes I'm 100% fine with it, so you asking about the effectiveness here, plus the presence of two swearwords (one I thought worked and one I thought didn't) really helped me think about that more deeply than I normally do.

    I'm 100% with you that it can be difficult to execute a particular concept in a way that also reads beautifully and appeals to people. I think this poem definitely achieves that (for me) but it might also be why I imagine Shinji Moon's poetry might be hit-or-miss for me: it's hard to imagine that every poem could be beautifully constructed but also so full of meaning and clarity. Not that I poet much anymore but I also used to tread the same thematic ground repeatedly, I think for the same reason you mentioned.
  5. Really interesting poem - the idea of "kintsugi" has always been interesting to me, and I like how the author took that one practice and then just pushed this analysis of how our culture can't seem to find beauty within the broken. There was so much bodily imagery in here too - the skeletons, fingers, etc. All very interesting and I felt like the poem's theme was all pretty cohesive & clear.

    Now I though the conclusion rang a bit hollow - I'm not quite sure what it means to "pieced together with light" in this context. Unless "light" is just optimism. I think that those last few lines sort of tried to give a quick "solution" to a poem that really was better at exploring a problem. A solution of "light" just seemed a bit intangible for a poem that otherwise seemed rooted in reality.

    The flow I thought - wasn't great, I looked up the original formatting (or what the internet says is the original formatting) and the line breaks are clunky. Although in a poem about mistakes, originality, and breaking the "mold" I'm guessing the clunky flow and line-breaks are intentional.

    Overall I think the poem/speaker comes across as vulnerable, blunt, authentic, so I would say it's a positive first impression for this author.


There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.
— Arthur C. Clarke