I have a project that I would like to start, and I hope that I can at least get the go-ahead here to work on it regularly.
For the time being, the working title is "A Swan's Tale".
Mailice´s PlanMo Journal 2021
16 posts in this topic.
-
Hi unknown reader!
I have a project that I would like to start, and I hope that I can at least get the go-ahead here to work on it regularly.
For the time being, the working title is "A Swan's Tale". -
Elevator pitch
A Swan's Tale is about two perspectives; a group of brave teenagers embarking on a mission and a young man caught between growing up and his childhood. Their paths cross several times and a journey begins for all of them that leads them not only to different opinions and views but also through a world marked by change. -
Character tweets
I never had twitter, so bear with me.
Stefanie (14 - 15 years old)[b]
Hello folks! I'm Stefanie and I live in the mountains, far away from the big cities and I love nature! I have my own garden where I grow strawberries. When I don't have to go to school or tease my younger sister, I'm hiking with Grandpa. He used to be a great mountain climber!
[b] Richard (17-18 years old)
I am Richard, the third eldest son from the house and have eight siblings. I help in our business as much as I can, but my dream is to get out of the city one day and show the world how much fun it is to do sports like skiing or cycling or swimming.
Klaus (15 - 16 years old)
Father wants me to be on here so that I can show the world what he has already achieved. If you are ever in the Spaweck area, come and see the museum. Or go to the university, where you'll usually find my father in the library, picking on unwary students.
Janice (16-17 years old)
I'm Janice. I don't know if anyone will read this. I'm from Torvitas Alacris. I have no siblings and live with the village priest. My mother has passed away and my father is in prison. I like animals. They are so beautiful and calm.
Stanley (over 20 years old)
Before I announce my upcoming wedding to my fiancée, I'll briefly do a little self-promotion here for the newspaper column "A Comment from the People", where I talk about special events and interview people on a daily basis. I do this for you, dearest Eleonora! <3
Hilda
I am Hilda and I am prettier and more intelligent than my big sister Stefanie! She is annoying, optimistic and boring. I'm much more exciting and you can have lots of adventures with me! Stupid Stefanie! Stupid Stefanie! Stupid Stefanie! Stupid Stefanie! Stupid Stefanie! Stupid S
Penelope
I don't really know what to write here. My name is Penelope. I really laugh a lot with my friends and we play a lot, but my grandfather doesn't want me to be with them. Now again he says I shouldn't be on social media. That's why this will be my secret now! Shh! -
Plotting: list
Most of the story will be set in chronological order, except for the beginning, when the characters are all separated.
Book 1
Stanley moves in with his fiancée after the engagement
-Stanley has lost his job as a columnist for a daily newspaper.
-Stanley visits his older brother because he stole his wedding money.
-Stanley goes out to dinner with his fiancée.
-He learns that her father is ill and she wants to move in with him.
-Stanley decides to travel with her.
Penelope is kidnapped
Stefanie is introduced and receives a letter
-Penelope's kidnappers are arrested in a neighbouring town because of an accident.
-Penelope is found and they search for her relatives.
-Penelope stays with Stefanie's family
-Stefanie receives a letter
-They set off to meet the sender and Stefanie is given the task to complete.
-The sender is Penelope's grandfather and is currently living underground.
Richard and his family are introduced and he receives a letter
-Richard receives a letter and decides to set off.
-Stefanie sets off on the journey.
-Stanley now lives with his fiancée in the house of his future father-in-law.
-Stefanie and Richard meet and go to the Emperor.
-They receive a gift and set off to meet the two remaining children.
-On the way back, Hilda, Stefanie's younger sister, sneaks in.
Book 2
Klaus is introduced and receives a letter
Janice is introduced and receives a letter
Stanley is sent to prison.
-The children meet in a town at Penelope's grandfather's house.
-He tells them about the task they have to fulfil.
-Stanley's future father-in-law dies
-Stanley shuts himself off
-He helps a woman who resists the police and is sent to prison.
-He falls in love with the woman.
The four children (+ Hilda) set off to see the Queen
-The queen tells them about the importance of the task.
-The group receives a gift.
-Penelope leaves with the children and Hilda to go to the prince to receive a gift.
Book 3
The paths come together
-Stanley lives with the other woman and rarely goes back to his fiancée.
-The children take a diversion to a sporting event.
-Penelope is kidnapped.
-Penelope is rescued.
-The children arrive in the prince's town
-They meet Stanley.
-The prince dies.
-The group receives the third gift from the prince's daughter.
-Stanley leaves with the children after destroying the lives of the woman and his fiancée.
Book 4
Return to the Queen
-The children learn that Penelope's grandfather has died.
-The queen takes them in and reveals the true intention of the gifts.
Setting out to receive the fourth gift
-The children embark on the longest journey with Stanley.
-For the first time they find out who is after them.
-They reach the ruins of the last kingdom.
-They do not find the gift.
Book 5
The children and Stanley travel to the end point
-Without all the presents, they try to find the last present by research.
-Stanley is searched for and flees from the children. In the process, he breaks his leg.
-Stanley meets Franziska.
-The children continue their search without Stanley.
-Stanley tells Franziska about the children's mission.
From here on is more or less the end. The points will decrease as the story progresses because I still want to change some things, but this is the rough and highly simplified overview. -
Outline a difficult plot point
There are already some points that are difficult and where I always rack my brain, but I think the biggest point is how the journey begins. The four children receive a letter asking them to go and see a man they don't know is a bit complicated.
With the characters Stefanie, Klaus and Janice I'm reasonably happy with the idea (Stefanie meets the man before because of some circumstances, Klaus is sent by his father to go to an elite school, so he actually can´t go, but Klaus finds the letter and accepts the offer so that he can take on the mission, and the priest Janice lives with helps her leave the village and encourages her to see the world with her own eyes).
With Richard it is a bit more complex, he has many siblings and his help is necessary in the household and running of the family. So far I'm not really satisfied that he lies to his father about looking for work elsewhere to send money, because that would eventually be exposed. -
OOoh, this looks like quite a big project here @MailicedeNamedy!! That's a pretty big cast
Hmm, taking a look at that plot point here, that does sound like a bit of a conundrum there. Getting a storyline like that off the ground often requires a bit of Plot Magic™. I think you've got a solid outline there though, I'd believe those reasons. -
Thank you @HarryHardy. Maybe I can then add a bit more to Richard´s character with this "lie". Or maybe... (wait... ideas are appearing in my mind) his siblings help him get away, and they all "lie" to the father and they work a little harder and put aside even more money.
-
Thank you @HarryHardy. Maybe I can then add a bit more to Richard´s character with this "lie". Or maybe... (wait... ideas are appearing in my mind) his siblings help him get away, and they all "lie" to the father and they work a little harder and put aside even more money.
-
Main character´s motivations
Stefanie: Her goal is to comply with the request in the letter, and puts everything else of hers in second place. Nevertheless, during her travels she still likes to look for a plant that she can name.
Richard: Richard's motivation is to eventually earn enough money so that his family doesn't have to work for a day. He also wants his dearest sister to finally be treated because she has epilepsy. That is why he tries to comply with the request in the letter.
Klaus: Klaus' goal is to get away from his father and finally be able to do what he wants and pursue his dream of becoming a master baker instead of studying something and following in his father's footsteps. That's why the letter comes in handy that he can get out of the house.
Janice: Janice has no motivation. She wants to comply with the request, but above all, she wants to escape from everything, which somehow remains as a negative memory. Since she is the only one who knows from the beginning what danger the journey holds, she is also the one who acts most rationally and has the least fun.
Stanley: Stanley wants to be free. Somehow. But his whole life has been destined for him, including his fiancée, and now, before the wedding, he is forced to decide what he wants to do with life. That's where the group of children comes in just at the right time. From there he begins to see what it means to take responsibility and gets the motivation to make up for everything.
Hilda and Penelope do not have direct goals. They just want to be together with their friends. -
Protagonist and antagonist
I think both parties are already in search of the same goal; it's just how they work towards that goal. Morally and honourably, with childlike naivety, or bureaucratically and brutally, with the greatest possible output, without regard for human lives.
The group of children and Stanley see the world through their eyes, Stanley in particular has lost a lot and by the time he realises what is in the children's letters he sees them as naïve younglings. This, of course, changes as the plot unfolds.
The antagonists consist of the world itself and the power they have acquired over the years. That is why it is so difficult to oppose this "party". The head of this party has the same goal as the children, to receive these "gifts" and the same desire. However, the twist of the wish turns with the words of the one expressing it. For the greater good or for the lesser good? -
Question & answer
I haven't introduced the antagonist at all because I don't know how much of them there will be. At the beginning I thought it would be great to see a POV from their side, but I think that's unnecessary. What do you think?
Would it be interesting in between (e.g. when introducing) individual characters (the children) to have a kind of "snippet in their current life" until they receive the letter, in order to prepare the reader for the respective character?
What age group will the story appeal to? Rather younger readers (under 12 to 14 years) or older or even young adults? -
@MailicedeNamedy here to answer some questions...xD
-Hmm...the POV of the antagonist. That's an interesting debate I always have before a story too. I think it ends up depending on what kind of effect you want from the antagonist. If you want the readers to understand their side of things and why they do whatever it is they do, having a POV is usually necessary. If you want them to be more mysterious and have whatever actions they take be a lot more surprising and such, having a POV is unnecessary and maybe even a bad idea.
-Oooh, that's actually a fun style I love to use. Its the sort of thing that works best in a movie rather than a story, but if you're introducing multiple characters all at once and they happen to be from totally different locations and walks of life, this is useful and pretty interesting.
-Hmm...that's harder to judge. I think perhaps with kidnappings and deaths and slightly darker themes I can see probably not for under 12, but teens seem okay. -
Character and Location List
Putting the answers here into spoilers, because they aren´t just five characters / places.
Characters:Spoiler
Main characters (in order of appearance):
- Stanley Glocken
- Stefanie Schwanenfluss
- Hilda Schwanenfluss
- Penelope von Eulenburg
- Richard Amselweber
- Klaus Eisvogel - Wind
- Janice Kranichhauch
Important Side characters
- Albert von Eulenburg (former chancellor)
- Simon August Glocken (brother of Stanley)
- Eleonora Kolkburg (fiancée of Stanley)
- Friedrich-Wilhelm Siegfried von Federstein (new chancellor)
- Sophie Amselweber (sister of Richard)
- Franziska “Snowgrave” (mysterious lady)
- Senta Glocken (sister of Stanley)
- Karl-Adolph Federtropfen (Emperor of the Federtropfen Domain)
- Edelgard von Leichburg (Assistant of the Emperor, a woman hidden in secrets)
- Antonia Luisa Waldestrieb (Queen of the Waldestrieb Domain)
- Alexander Flügelberg (Prince of the Flügelberg Domain)
- Isolde Feodora Flügelberg (Daugther of Alexander Flügelberg)
- Valerie Berg (habitant of the city of Falkensteinwald)
- Cignos Ibykos IV. (Abbot of a mysterious abbey)
- Brunhilde Flügelberg (Daughter of Alexander Flügelberg)
- Hermeline Arminia (famous violinist)
- Professor Doctor Siegfried Wind (Father of Klaus)
- Katharina Wind (Mother of Klaus)
- Katia Flora Blaubeerblume (habitant of Rechenthal)
- Rudolf Blaubeerblume (habitant of Rechenthal)
- Elze Family (Markus, Gottfried, Margarete) (family living in Rechenthal)
- Egidius Wolfsmilch (priest in Torvitas Alacris)
- Matthias Fink (Father of Janice)
- Melissa “Melisma” Jubilus (famous singer from Cattell)
- Friedrich-Wilhelm Scarlet (“adoptive” brother of Melissa)
- Marianne Viktoria Herford “Oreade” (human trafficker)
- Dijon Naruszewicz (resistance fighter)
- Haby Family (Wilhelm, Viktor and Samira Palatinat) (former servant family of the Family of the Blue Capuchins)
Other side characters
- Elvira Kaufmann (psychologist)
- Heinrich Schwanenfluss (father of Stefanie and Hilda)
- Gisela Schwanenfluss (mother of Stefanie and Hilda)
- Alfred Schwanenfluss (grandfather of Stefanie and Hilda)
- Jakob Kaup (priest of Eisendorf)
- Amselweber Family (August, Julia, Maria, Gustav, Georg, Heike, Johannes, Annette, Ferdinand, Laura and Frank)
- Emil Nestflüchter & Maria Nestflüchter (they have an inn in Kiebitz)
- Margarete Goldmann (fiancée of Simon August Glocken)
- Marie Leymann (servant of the Glocken Family)
- Adam Glocken (Father of Stanley, Simon and Senta)
- Alexander Rhombus (employer of Eleonora)
- Frank Dagobert von Sterneck (important figure and minister of transport)
- Conrad Kolkburg (father of Eleonora)
- Claudia Kolkburg (mother of Eleonora)
- Friederike Kolkburg (grandmother of Eleonora)
- Adalbert C. Federball (teacher of Klaus and good friend of his father)
- Alfred Volkert (has an inn in Cattell)
- Alfred Kaufmann (servant of Franziska “Snowgrave"
- Carolina Weiß “Najade” (nun)
- Stephan Sparrenburg “Zelos” (nun)
- Matthias Iskarlet (alchemist)
- Petrus Ochsenwinter (one of the four “Mother´s Architects”)
- Paulus Hirschherbst (one of the four “Mother´s Architects”)
- Markus Katzenfeuer (one of the four “Mother´s Architects”)
- Johannes Löwenmorgen (one of the four “Mother´s Architects”)
Locations:Spoiler
In order how I remember them and summarised.
- Eisendorf (home of Schwanenfluss family)
- Kuckuckshausen (neighbouring village of Eisendorf)
- Falkentropfenstadt (oldest city in the country)
- Maiden´s Well (one of the holiest places in the country)
- Kiebitz (tiny village, living from wine and tourism)
- Ruins of Sutolesor (a former battleground during the Middle Ages)
- Mathildenburg (an artificial city on top of a dam)
- Silverstone Mountain (a big mountain with a long tunnel)
- Red Castle (home of the Emperor)
- Erpelburg (city near the Red Castle)
- Bad Kaiserstadt (home of Amselweber Family)
- Helmstadt (home of Edelgard von Leichburg)
- Sagauvela - City (capital city)
- Wyvern Lake (largest lake in the country, shares its border with Mamselldahl)
- Waldestrieb - Island (Here is the palace of the Waldestrieb Family)
- Glocken - Fields (large fields near Wyvern Lake)
- Feather - Aqueduct (Home of the new Chancellor)
- Malachthyst (second largest city in the country)
- Flügelberg at the Rohst (home of Klaus and his family)
- The Chapel of Windbruchtiefe (a former battleground during the Middle Ages)
- Marktkirchen (a town on top of a mountain)
- Rechenthal (a very tiny town near a dam)
- Old Rechenthal (the remnants of the town, mostly under water nowadays)
- Falkensteinwald (Home of Kolkburg Family)
- Fortress Flügelberg (lies in Falkensteinwald)
- Torvitas Alacris (Home of Janice)
- Wolfsberg (large industrial city in a place called No Man´s Land)
- Deer Cascades (large lake where once a.gold rush took place)
- Cattell (very famous city in a place called No Man´s Land)
- Knokkenhofen (a tiny town near a river and an abbey)
- Mönchsberg Abbey (an old abbey, that is said, to be closed for 400 years.)
- Fasich (an isolated town at the Lapis)
- Lapis (largest and longest river in the country)
- Ruins of the former Castle (former home of the fourth Domain Family)
- Lapis Reservoir (a large artificial lake at the border with the Free Duchy)
-Petrichor (nearly unknown city far away from any other settlement) -
Character questionnaire
That was harder than I thought, especially at the end.
Name: Franziska “Snowgrave” Capuchin
Age: 25 (born on 10th May)
Height: 184 cm
Eye colour: eerie pine green
Physical appearance: very thin, undernourished, pale pink skin, round head, dyed red hair, (hair colour actually walnut brown), usually tied in a ponytail, high forehead, hard, narrow cheekbones, flat snub nose, thin eyebrows, flattened chin, long neck.
Strange or unique physical attributes: When she gets angry, her forehead gets read and wrinkled.
Favourite clothing style / outfit: either emerald green jumper and a dark flannel skirt and black strappy shoes or chiffon chemise dress.
Wehre does he/she live? What is it like there? She lives on a hill, far from the city in her country house. It is a large, gloomy, cold estate with a lake behind it, surrounded by many trees. It's rare for someone to come by there.
Defining gestures/movements: Moves about unsteadily, usually on tiptoe, when speaking she fixes her gaze on something behind the listener.
Things about his/her appearance he/she would most like to change: She would want to change her entire body. She would prefer not to be a human being at all but a bird or a stray cat that nobody finds.
Speaking style: Icy whisper
Pet peeves: People who are optimistic and want to make a change in life.
Fondest memory: The day she got her cats.
Hobbies/interests: Reading, thinking, interested in religion, history and art
Special skills/abilities: She can hold her breath for a long time.
Insecurities: When she is around people.
Quirks/eccentricities: Once a month, she goes to a café where she reads through the last few weeks' newspapers and drinks a glass of tap water.
Temperament: Melancholic, downcast, reserved, hateful.
Negative traits: she is untidy.
Things that upset her: Injustice
Things that embarrass her: nudity, generally the human body
This character is highly opinionated about: The Goddess
Any phobias? Thalassophobia
Things that make her happy: Her cats
Family (describe): Parents left her, when she was a baby, since then her only family is the servant, who stayed with her. Later her parents died in a fire, not far away from the city.
Deepest, darkest secret: She is one of the descendant of a Domain Family
Reason he/she has kept this secret for so long: Because of fear, that she could get killed because of it.
Other people's opinions of this character: Her servant: He is convinced that she can become something one day, once she has overcome her obstinacy.
Favourite bands/song/types of music: Gregorian Chants
Favourite movies: Vanilla Sky
Favourite TV shows: I don´t know, probably some sort of documentary
Favourite books: A Melody for Lavender (fictional book in the story)
Favourite foods: Potatoes and carrots
Favourite sports / sports teams: She probably like squash
Political views: against any political rule. She believes in theocracy.
Religion / philosophy of life: Very devot, “be as good as the Goddess”
Physical health: unhealthy because of her under malnutrition
Dream holiday: somewhere where she could watch the sun rise and go down.
Description of her house: The property is almost empty apart from the large living room. There are a few carpets and shelves, otherwise the many rooms are empty. The living room is full of books and pictures, and is the only place that somehow shows that someone lives here. She has a terrace that leads to the lake, which she often visits in the evening hours.
Description of her room: Her room has a broken wardrobe, drawn shutters and an old, rusty bed. She doesn't even have a lamp there, just a candle. The floor is covered with clothes.
Any pets? Two cats, called Luna and Solana.
Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Getting the cats.
Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: Getting to know the truth about her origin and her parents.
Superstitions: No
Three words to describe this character: Withdrawn, snarling, contemptuous of self.
If a song played every time this character walked into a room, what song would it be? A Song of Blood from “Golden Hymns Sing ´Hurrah´ -
Hiya @MailicedeNamedy! Here to answer some questions~ But first, I really love that character and location list! It's clear you've thought each one of them through. Franziska also sounds like a really interesting character.
- I think a POV from the antagonist's side might not be necessary? If they're supposed to be a sort of faceless dystopian party, it might be good to keep them mysterious, so we can experience the world through the perspectives of these children, who probably wouldn't understand the adults in this party.
- Showing some snippets of the children's lives would probably help establish their characters. I can still remember the first few scenes about Claire from your other novel - they left quite an impression about her character - so it would be good if you could channel that in this work as well.
- I think older teens might like this, because most of the protagonists are around their age range and the story also seems to be about the youth vs. the adult world, which is something older teens usually find more pertinent to their lives.
Sign in to reply to this topic.
Delete this post?
Are you sure you want to delete this post? This cannot be undone.