Okay, so. We are all adults enough to be annoyed about the pesky kids, but please tell me I'm not the only one who sometimes horribly struggles with adulting.
For example. I HATE anything tax-related because I just can't figure it out, and when I do, I remember it only until it's useful at that moment, and by the next year I've forgotten all about it. Today I've tried ordering a new tax card but ended up pulling my hair and near-crying because it was super stressful and it was taking time away from actual work and ugh. I'm calmer about it now but I think I'll have to call the tax office and hope that there is a lovely patient lady there that will answer even the most stupid questions.
When have you felt like a failure at adulting? I need some peer support...
When you just can't adult
12 posts in this topic.
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Many, many sympathies! I had a completely awful time trying to deal with my pension provider a few weeks ago. See, my workplace signed me up for a pension, but they had my date of birth on file incorrectly. Easy to change it at work - "hey, admin man, that is wrong, please change it" - but to change it with the pension people, I had to send in some ID. So, after putting it off for about a month, I ordered a certified copy of my birth certificate, sent them that, they sent it back with a "thank you, we've updated your details, BUT NOW it looks like you have two accounts! Send us some id so we can check!"
Only, they want it to be different id from the one I just sent. So I put it off another four weeks, but eventually I'm like, okay, copy of my passport. That's fine, but it has to be signed, by someone in one of this really specific list of professions. Pharmacist, bank employee, doctor... I'm like, okay, there's a chemist right here. They'll do. "No, we don't do that." Ugh. Fine. THIS chemist just down the road, maybe? "Passport copy? We don't do that." Ughhh. Okay, not a pharmacist then.
At this point, I'm unreasonably angry that none of them will sign the thing, so I go home, wipe up the tears, and decide to ignore it for another week. Next weekend, I try the bank. They, at least, give me a reason: "Lloyds Banking Group has a company-wide policy that we're not allowed to do that, I'm sorry." (Irritation: why does the pension provider still suggest bank employees if all the high street banks forbid their employees from doing it? Gah.)
This doesn't seem like a thing that should cause breaking-down-in-tears, perhaps, but hey, it does. I go home, I lie on the sofa, and I cry for like twenty minutes, because UGH SOMEBODY JUST SIGN THE THING. Eventually, I prod a friend like "hey send me puppy gifs, I feel awful about bits of paper", and he sends me a puppy gif, and tentatively asks what the paper is, and then is super helpful and looks up the link to the Post Office's FAQ about signing passports, and tells me how to get it done there (for a tenner, grumble). And I go to the Post Office, and I pay them to stamp a bit of ink on my bit of paper and say that it looks just like my passport, and then I pay them to send the thing off in the post, and it's done, it's dealt with, it's gone.
This has been the story of how Cadi wound up crying with anger and frustration over some bits of paper! It's really weird and annoying how stressful this stuff can be. But, it did work out okay in the end. I hope your call to the tax office goes okay and that the person on the other end is helpful! -
I don't understand tax. Or pensions.
I can't read my payslip.
I call the revenue and cry on occasion.
I have a public pension as I work in the public sector, however I am paying more in pension related fees than I am paying into the pension itself. I do not know what these are.
It's actually super stressful. I have managed things like insurance and bills. But when it comes to tax, and money coming in, and getting what I'm owed, I'm so utterly useless and I'm sure I'm losing out but I don't know.
Also @Demeter - usually they're lovely but sometimes they're sassy here. So hopefully tomorrow you'll have a lovely one
(But they seem to think everyone should just *understand it* I mean why? Where would I have learnt that?) -
Normally it's when my system has been messed with. Say I need to write a recipe for someone, but someone moved the recipe book on me.
Or the other day, this lady was asking me how much she needed to pay for her granddaughter for September, (normally they figure that out themselves at home, pay us, and I write them up a recipe), and if they want to know how much they owe us, there's a document that's easy to pull up on the computer- but she wanted to pay in advance. So my brain is just like "CODE RED CODE RED, they said the M-word!!" So no problem, right? I'll just whip out my phone and woo, calculator! I normally use my ipod's calculator though, and I left that at home. So I was looking on my phone for a calculator, and GUESS WHAT? Somehow it doesn't have a calculator Dx And both me and the lady were like "mathing is not my speciality"- she was really good about it, which was nice, and sympathising with me- AKA she was saying she has the same trouble with math, which was why she was asking me. Anyway thankfully one of the other mums came in (and she's like an accountant or something, so we were saved), so we figured it out.
So. Basically I find it very difficult to adult when I have to do math in public. I probably could have figured it out fine if no one had been around. -
ALSO (sorry for the double-post) phone calls.
I'm getting WAY better at phone calls. But still if I answer the phone at work 85% of the time I can't help them, because I'm not the office lady so I have next to no clue of what's going on. But I have to answer the phone in case it's one of the parents trying to get ahold of me or my boss trying to get ahold of me. XP
So normally I feel really bad when I can't help people on the phone and end up either just taking a message for the office lady or getting them to call back during office hours or I get the office lady to call them back.
Also my name's Micaelah, so when I answer the phone it sounds like I'm saying 'Micale' or 'Mikay' speaking. ;-; The struggles. -
Boss: hey this guy did some work for us, but he needs to get paid and he lives out in the boonies. Can you mail a paycard from your office? It might arrive sooner.
Yep. No problem. *Uses the opportunity to catch up on a crapload of mail I'm behind on*
Two weeks later. Hey...the guy is threatening us because he hasn't gotten paid yet. Did you send that paycard on September 1st?
Yep! *Checks tracking* .....FRICK. This is tracking info for my old phone I had shipped out and everyone's wedding invitations and everything BUT the damn paycard are you flipping desk frickety fish stricks kidding me?!?!?!!
*Finds paycard* I'll send it PRORITY EXPRESS and pay for it MYSELF
Post office closed because hurricanes.
...........eeeeeeee!
Boss: Any update on this?
Eventually I had to calm myself down enough to confess how I dropped the ball. And he agreed to cut him a check overnight.
Which costs the company money. ;_; ughhh. Any guilt I feel is trite compared to the guy waiting on his pay though. I am preying nothing happens to him. I know how THAT feels. As if Karma is a THING that exists, I am currently right now having to go through the loops that is eBay customer service. I sold an old phone of mine, sent it in the post to get shipped. Received the confirmation it arrived. Did NOT get paid. Ughhh. -
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who finds adulting hard!
@Cadi, I can SO SUPER RELATE. Like okay, this situation is completely different from yours which sounds incredibly unnecessarily complicated and cruelly bureaucratic, but the frustration and the anger I can so relate to. Why do they make us do these things??
I called the tax office today and fortunately the lady was really nice and patient and said there were no stupid questions. She didn't sound like she just wanted to get the call over with as soon as possible so she could move on to the next person, but she was just really calm and nice. And I managed to order the tax card and send it to my employer
@StellaThomas, I feel exactly what you said in the last bit - where are we supposed to have learnt these things? I feel like everyone else knows what's up, but I don't understand how or why. Why aren't these things taught at school? There's no way I would have learnt this anywhere, and sure, maybe it's like "you'll get used to it! You'll learn by doing it every year!" but it's really intimidating when you don't understand and when it's something that if you do it wrong, you can lose money or some other actual consequence. And for me, who's not comfortable with numbers (I am sooo much more humanities than science), it feels especially hard.
However, I must say that I feel much better after getting it sorted and feel like I understand this particular issue a little better now.
But I had to gather up the courage to make the call for like an hour. >.> that's another adult-related thing that I sometimes struggle with. Official phone calls are not something I enjoy. -
I feel like I'm closing in on a burnout. With all the work, which takes up all my nights, and the fact that I always have to spend the time before work hanging around gf's cafe job cause it eases up her anxiety if I'm around, I find so little time to do what I want.
And right now, all I'm wanting to do is finish of the final draft of my MS, but I can't find the fucking time to do it properly.
And I have to work as much as I do because she doesn't earn that much through this job, and I have to carry the bills.
Plus my mom has cancer. Probably not the place to vent this, but it's been the only thing on my mind these past three weeks.
I just feel like sleeping all day these days. -
@Demeter - hooray, I'm glad you got it sorted! Also YES to "wait how do I know what to do" - I have sent my mum a lot of emails like "er hey so do I just... phone up?? And ask...something? Help? What am I doing??" (This was less useful when I was trying to work out renting and she was like "er well I haven't done this for about thirty years...", haha)
@birk - that sounds super rough, I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of that
I hope you get some time for your MS and some time for yourself soon. And best wishes for your mum - I've been there, and it was no fun at all. -
That really sucks, Birk. Best wishes <3
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I hate moving. I moved into a place with a girl who I get along really well with and we share a room, but she's going to be leaving in January and can't pay her half of the rent for the room, and I don't think I can foot the bill of paying 300+ for a room. I might have to find another place and I just... ughh...
I'll have to downsize again. Will probably have to sell my bedframe just cause it's massive and a pain to move, and instead get a box spring and maybe a metal frame.
Also I have to find a new dentist in my area because I can't keep going to the dentist back home. And I have to find a doctor in my area. (All covered by my insurance - I'm fortunately still under my dad's while I'm a student). I still haven't found any because I don't even know where to begin. -
^ I FEEEL THOSE FEELS @soundofmind.
I just succesfully shifted my DL today.
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