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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

The terrible life of lonely Eric

by vampricone6783


*This story is underneath my folder titled “The curse of Clyde and other stories”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



Introduction

Eric couldn’t sleep. It was late at night and he couldn’t sleep.

His eyes were lit up with the excitement of going to a carnival! A real carnival, with twinkling lights and clowns that waved hi. He and his parents were going to the carnival the next day!

Eric knew, deep down, just like he knew that Santa was real, that it would be the best day ever!

Chapter One

THE NEXT MORNING-CAR RIDE

“You’re going to love the carnival, Eric. It’s full of such wonderful people. You’ll never want to leave.” Mom said.

After a few hours of getting ready, Mom was driving Eric to the carnival. Dad sat in the passenger seat, chuckling with good nature and mirth.

Eric simply looked out the window, anticipating the rollercoasters and the Ferris wheel that was to rise high into the sky when they got close.

Chapter Two

Eric was starting to see it. The rides, the colors. The carnival.

He turned to look at the front window, the window Mom and Dad was facing.

There it was! The gate that led into the carnival! On a yellow painted gate with bright, twinkling purple fairy lights, in painted red, were the words: “Clownlandia”.

They had arrived!

Chapter Three

“Now Eric, I want you to stay close to us. This is a big place, people can easily get lost.” Dad said.

Eric nodded joyfully. Of course he would be good, there were clowns to play with!

Chapter Four

AT THE CARNIVAL

Eric waved to all of the clowns that walked by. One hand was free, the other held a cotton candy stick.

But his parents weren’t taking him to see the clowns, they were taking him somewhere else.

Somewhere special.

Chapter Five

They were all standing in line for the biggest and newest rollercoaster ever! Not even tests were done.

It was called “Soul Shivers”, but that didn’t make sense to Eric, because how could a rollercoaster shiver a soul?

Chapter Six

They were so close! Only the second group of people in line!

Eric noticed that the seats were all leathery and worn. He never saw holes in the seat of a ride before, but surely, it didn’t mean anything, right?

Chapter Seven

“Get ready for the craziest, twistiest, most insane ride EVER!” The announcer squealed.

Eric was strapped to the ride’s sagging seat, ready to roll.

Why was it sagging, anyway?

Chapter Eight

The ride was slow at first. Peaceful, even.

Then, it progressed into a symphony of wheels crawling up the tracks, faster and faster…

The skin on Eric’s face felt like it was about to get ripped off.

Chapter Nine

“That’s it, I hope that you enjoyed!” The voice on the loudspeaker said.

“W-what did you guys think…”

Eric couldn’t finish his sentence. He was stuttering at first because of the speed, but his words were lost because…

Blood spilled from the mouths of his parents. Their eyes were blank white, devoid of life.

Chapter Ten

“Mom?! Dad?!” Eric asked, shaking both of them. None responded. No bones in their bodies moved.

A cast member helped families get off the ride, excited, free families return back to the Earth.

But Eric’s parents were nothing but lumps of meat in seats.

Chapter Eleven

The cast member was approaching Eric…getting closer…

He ran out of the seat, away from the lifeless sacks of flesh, off to…

He didn’t know where.

Chapter Twelve

After much running, Eric found himself in the woods, all alone, save for the animals.

Mom and Dad…dead…froth from their lips…eyes completely white…

Eric panted heavily, hands on his knees.

Mom and Dad…DEAD!

Chapter Thirteen

What surrounded Eric was bare, dark trees reaching out to him. In the distance was eager calliope music, with families all joined together.

Tears welled in his eyes. He was going to be alone. He was going to be an orphan.

Two black steam clouds formed in front of him.

Huh… Eric thought as they materialized.

Chapter Fourteen

What stood in front of him were none other than his parents. Bloody, yes. White-eyed, yes.

But his parents? Yes.

In the end, Eric didn’t care about the way they looked. They were still his parents, no matter what.

They hadn’t left him alone.

Chapter Fifteen

“You’re here! You’re really here!” Eric said happily. He wanted to hug them, but knew deep down that it wouldn’t work.

“Yes, Eric. We are. We’re here, and we only want one thing from you.” Mom said with a smile.

“What is it? I’ll do anything! I’m just glad that you’re here and okay!” Eric said. His heart had lifted, the weight was gone.

The tears that spilled from his eyes were full of sweet elation, no longer covered in gray sorrow.

Chapter Sixteen

“Can you make a carnival for us? A sparkling, bustling carnival, more than the one we went to?” Mom asked.

“A…a carnival? How would I do that? That…that’s a lot of work.” Eric sighed, his eyes full of defeat.

It seemed impossible.

Chapter Seventeen

“All you have to do is go to the carnival. We’ll be there to help.” Mom said.

“But that’s already a carnival. It’s already owned. How would I-“

“Listen to your mother, Eric. She knows what she’s talking about.” Dad said sternly.

Chapter Eighteen

Eric did just as they asked. He walked into the carnival, hiding behind a stuffed animal stand. He didn’t want to be taken away, trapped in an orphanage, where he would rot forever.

“What now?” Eric asked.

Their hands held his comfortingly, just as they did in life.

Chapter Nineteen

“Just close your eyes.” Dad said.

Without questions, Eric closed his eyes.

The screams began.

Chapter Twenty

After a few minutes had passed, Eric opened his eyes.  There was not a soul around. The rides stopped working. All was quiet.

“Where is everybody? What happened?” Eric asked.

“They’re dead. Just like us. We took them to the afterlife.” Mom said.

“They’ll be okay, right?” Eric asked.

Death was not the end, that much he knew, but he hoped that they were at peace.

“Yes, they are fine.” Mom said.

Well, if Mom said it, then they must be okay.

Right?

Epilouge

Eric searched for people to take, people to turn into odd, colorful clowns. It was what his parents wanted, after all.

His parents were the only ones who cared, the only ones who helped.

The only ones who stayed.


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Tue Jun 18, 2024 4:36 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



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I am back, once again! This was a lovely piece! Let's get right into the review, shall we?

Eric waved to all of the clowns that walked by. One hand was free, the other held a cotton candy stick.

But his parents weren’t taking him to see the clowns, they were taking him somewhere else.

Somewhere special.


Oooh, we start to see a bit for what I assume is forshadowing here. Eric is excited as he sees all of these clowns walking by him, but as the narrator tells us, they are not here for him to see the clowns, they are taking him 'somewhere special'.

Eric noticed that the seats were all leathery and worn. He never saw holes in the seat of a ride before, but surely, it didn’t mean anything, right?


And we see even MORE here! It seems like Eric is going to go on the soul shivers ride, which has never had testing done before. they see holes in the seats too... hmm... this doesn't seem good. I think this ride is evil and something bad is gonna happen to Eric!

“Mom?! Dad?!” Eric asked, shaking both of them. None responded. No bones in their bodies moved.

A cast member helped families get off the ride, excited, free families return back to the Earth.

But Eric’s parents were nothing but lumps of meat in seats.


OH NO!! Eric didn't die, but his poor parents did. At the start, I sort of thought that his mom and dad were going to be the villains to take him to this ride to kill him, but actually the opposite happened. Okay, let's see where Eric goes after this. I really enjoyed the rest of this story and the ending. Eric meets his parents and they ask him to make the carnival for him. The ending was sweet with these lines:

His parents were the only ones who cared, the only ones who helped.

The only ones who stayed.


They stayed with him </333 aww. Poor Eric. Overall, lovely story, as always!!

Your friend,
Ellie

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vampricone6783 says...


Glad you enjoyed!

Yes, Eric%u2019s parents will always stay with him%u2026



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Wed Apr 03, 2024 4:50 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Okay, this should really be tagged in the horror genre. I do not typically read this genre; also, you might consider tagging it as such in case a reader might need a trigger warning. Anyway, you've put what could be an expansive story into a really succinct format. From your note at the top, I'm assuming it's one chapter in a series of short stories(?). If that's the way you intend for it to be, then I think this format works.

I noticed an instance where you used the word "was" where the word "were would have been correct. (I think you said "Mom and Dad was" or something like that.) So just a grammatical error to correct.

When the story comes to its end, it hurries to a definitive point that conveys the idea of the lengths people will go to in order to accomodate the people who stay in their lives, whether or not those people are a good influence on them. Love and connection are powerful forces that can sway their object either for good or for evil, and in this story, it appears that Eric was influenced to do morally questionable things because all he had was his parents and so he'd do anything for them. That's the idea I got from it, anyway.




vampricone6783 says...


Thank you for reading!




All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
— Jane Wagner