*This is a Hocus Pocus fanfic. These characters are from the 1993 movie “Hocus Pocus” and the 2023 movie “Hocus Pocus 2”, but I’m only going to be making fanfics from the 90’s movie. This fanfic is under my folder titled “Hocus Pocus fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33”. This is how I imagined the first meeting of Sarah Sanderson and Billy Butcherson to go! I hope you enjoy!*
“So…witches don’t scare you?” Sarah asked, playing with her lucky rat’s tail.
Her older sister, Winnie, had brought home a very interesting young man, William Butcherson, who was sitting on a dining room chair. Winnie claimed that he was her beau, and that he didn’t mind that she was a witch.
But Sarah wanted to show him all of the dead animals in her room, and goodness, he had such a pretty face…
“Nope! In fact, I find it quite fascinating. I’m writing a book about witches, and I want to learn all I can about them.” William said.
Oh, he was so intelligent! His brown eyes glowed with joy, his black hair curled around his pale face perfectly! He was a real dream!
But did he really not care if a woman was a witch?
“You know, we witches eat children to stay young. I sing a little song to tempt them over. I could kill you in a heartbeat, just like my sisters. Does that scare you? Does that frighten you?” Sarah asked in a low, hushed drawl. It was her luring voice, her coaxing voice.
She sat on his lap, smiling as she wrapped her arms around him. She wasn’t going to let him run, he was too pretty to let go of!
William gave a confident smile to her, and he said:
“I know that you all could kill me. That’s the thrill of dating a witch.”
Oh, he was divine! She hoped that Winnie wouldn’t get mad at her later!
“Can I call you Billy? William is just too long and formal.” Sarah said.
She twirled a strand of her hair to stop herself from twirling his, for her hands needed to grab something, and she just placed her rat’s tail on the table.
“Of course. You can call me whatever you like.” Billy said, his smile never leaving his face! It made him look so, so, so delectable! He had one dimple on the side of his cheek that only showed up in his smile!
Sarah couldn’t help herself any longer. She planted a kiss on his lips, and then, he kissed her back.
Sisters are supposed to share, are they not?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hello! Ranger here to leave you a quick review on your short story!
Oooo, Hocus Pocus is one of my favorite Halloween movies and I must say this fanic of it was truly amazing! You captured Sarah's personality and mannerisms so well in this, it felt like it could have been part of one of the movies! All the italics really add to this in reflecting the way she speaks and likely also thinks. I also greatly admire this part in particular:
This shows so much of how she acts in the movies alone and how she always seems to have her hands on something in sort of a younger sibling way!
You did so well at this, I don't have any criticism at all but I do have more praise in a different aspect! Giving billy another sort of personality, a happier personality when he was well- alive, was such a good idea! it really added to the story and I can see how the two would get along really well together, sparking the conflict with Winifred!
This fanfic was amazing and although I don't often read fanfics this one was truly amazing and a real treat to read!
I%u2019m so glad you enjoyed!!! I love Hocus Pocus so I had to write this!!!
Hello, I hope you mind me popping in with a quick review. I will quickly apologize, as I haven't watched Hocus Pocus. I plan to, but I wasn't around when it came out. However, I hope my thoughts can brighten your day nonetheless. With all that being said, let's get into it, shall we?
Overall, I found this interesting despite not knowing the source material. If I am not mistaken, Billy is the dead guy they revived, right? I bet others who know more might have more background, but I feel this could be made into an actual long-form fan fiction playing off this idea.
You already have a source conflict with the kiss and I feel there are a lot of ways this could play out. Along with the magic element there is a lot of space for both hijinks and drama alike. Plus I feel you could add some depth and possible humanity to the sister's dynamic because the movies are more focused on the evil witch side of things. However, that is if you would want to continue.
Now I would normally jump into feedback but nothing jumped out at me. I feel like I don't know enough to comment on the canon of this story so I will wrap it up instead.
This was a fun little short story I feel could be expanded on to explore characters but is fine as is. I hope you have a good day or night as well as a good holiday season. As always keep writing and remember to drink water!
So glad you enjoyed this and yes, please watch the first Hocus Pocus movie, it%u2019s really fun!