z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Mariposa Diablo and the cats

by vampricone6783


*This is from a short story in my story “31 horrific Halloween tales”. It is based on a story that my Dad told when I was really young about two cats that were fighting each other. I don’t remember much of the details, only that it terrified me and I didn’t remind him to finish it the next day because of that. As a result, the story was never finished. So now, I’m going to finish it. Gacha Club characters are on my wall. Enjoy.*

Introduction

Mariposa Diablo tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn’t stop hearing the meowing, couldn’t stop hearing the scratches, the fight-

They were still fighting, those cats. Next there would be blood and then one of them would die and-

It stopped.

The meowing stopped.

Mariposa breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, those cats stopped fi-

One of them screamed.

Well, not really screamed. More like screeched. But that one single, desperate meow sounded something like a scream. It was so loud and lonely and in despair and..

Her fingers, slick with sweat, gripped the bedcovers tightly.

She couldn’t let go or move at all.

She was stuck in bed, paralyzed to the sound of screaming, dying, helpless cats…

Chapter One

2017-DIABLO HOUSE-MARIPOSA’S BEDROOM

Mariposa blinked her eyes to the morning sun. She hadn’t had any actual sleep since her family moved here last month. Why they moved would always remain a mystery to her, but one thing ran clear:

She did not like it there.

There were neighborhood cats who clawed and hissed at each other every single night. Mariposa could hear the war from her window.

She feared that one of the cats would die in blood and gore.

Just last night, her fear came true.

Mariposa could still hear the animal’s helpless cries for he-

“Mariposa! Downstairs, now!”

Uh oh. Her Mom was tired of waiting for her.

Time to get ready for school.

Chapter Two

“What took you so long?”

“The…the cats-“

“Oh yes, they died. Both of them. Quite a fight, wasn’t it?”

“The fight scared me.”

“Hush now, child. They’re just two meddlesome cats. A lot of them do it all the time. That’s just what they do.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Deal with it.”

Chapter Three

ELDEN SIDEWALK

Mariposa walked to school, wishing that it were yesterday again.

Yesterday was the day she turned seven.

Yesterday, she didn’t worry about cats fighting to the death. She only cared about the taste of cake and her presents.

And now…

Now, she’d have to go to school.

The worst place on Earth.

Chapter Four

ELDEN ELEMENTARY-FRONT ENTRANCE

She stared at the school, which reminded of her a prison. The windows were barred and the fence was so high and-

“Meeooowww.”

Maybe it was just another cat, but to Mariposa’s ears…

It sounded just like the cat that died last night.

Chapter Five

She was walking in the school, surrounded by barren walls and sulking children.

Mariposa wasn’t alone.

There were small paws trotting the ground behind her.

It couldn’t be real.

It was just her…

Imagination.

Chapter Six

ELDEN ELEMENTARY PLAYGROUND



There was no grass at all. No flowers. The playground equipment was rusted and old. Not even sparrows resided there.

Mariposa sat alone at a bench, watching the other kids play with each other.

All day, she heard the cats. She knew that they were dead, but yet, she could still hear them.

A girl in a pretty black dress with blond hair in a ponytail sat next to her.

“Can you tell me a story?” The girl asked.

“Me?” Mariposa asked, just to be sure.

“Yes. You.” The girl said.

Chapter Seven

Mariposa had never been in this situation before, where someone wanted her to tell a story. Usually it would be the job of her parents or teachers to tell a story.

But now, someone wanted to hear her.

What story would she tell? Would it be about Princesses? Fairies? Mermaids?

“Meooowwwww.”

That meow again. That desperate little cry. That poor animal.

No. This story had to be about the cats and this time, no cat would die.

Chapter Eight

“There were once two cats who always fought, day and night.”

“They never stopped. They never seemed to care. They just fought and fought and fought.”

“And then what happened?”

“Well…”

Chapter Nine

What to end it with? Certainly not the gruesome ending Mariposa heard.

But the only way the story ended was if one of the two cats died.

Unless…

“They decided to stop fighting and became really good friends.”

“What? THAT’S the ending?”

Chapter Ten

The girl rose up from the bench in anger. Mariposa stayed in her spot, wishing that she weren’t so mad.

“That’s the lamest ending I ever heard. The cats become friends?”

“I just-“

“I’m done talking to you.”

“Wait!”

But the girl was running away from her, possibly to join all of her friends.

Mariposa huddled herself on the bench. The cold air nipped at her thin brown arms.

She almost made a friend. A best friend, perhaps.

But again, it was just her and-

“Meowwww.”

And that cat again!

Chapter Eleven

This time, she actually saw the cat. The cat was a tabby cat, with sparkling green eyes and…

Bleeding scars on the left side of its body. Probably from the fight.

Mariposa untangled herself from the huddle, intrigued by the little beast, and then-

The cat leaped into her leap and purred contentedly.

Mariposa looked around. The other kids didn’t seem to notice the cat. The teachers all spoke with one another, too invested with their conversation to pay attention to the girl and the cat.

She stroked the creature’s soft head, no longer fearing the animal. It seemed nice enough, despite that it was dead and all.

“I’ll take good care of you.” Mariposa whispered so only the cat could hear.

Chapter Twelve

No one else at school saw the cat. No one asked Mariposa why it was around.

In fact, she was beginning to think that she was the only one who could see it!

But why?

Chapter Thirteen

BACK AT HOME-WITH THE CATS

Mariposa sat cross-legged on her bed, staring at the two bleeding, zombie cats in her room. One was black and one was a tabby. They sat on the floor next to each other, staring back at her.

“Why are you here? How come I’m the only one who can see you?” She asked. She needed answers. Dead cats didn’t just appear to anyone without a reason.

The tabby jumped on her desk. It took one of her glitter gel pens from her sparkly pencil cup with its mouth.

Then, it began to write (she sometimes forgot to put the caps on, so it didn’t need to take out the pen cap) on her open notebook.

Mariposa got up from her bed and picked up the black cat.

While holding the black cat, she the black cat, she leaned closer to her desk, to get a better look at what the tabby was writing…

Was it true?



There was no way.

The paper read:

“We are not cats. We are children, like you.”

The tabby stopped writing and turned its head towards her, seemingly looking into her soul.

The black cat put a paw up to her face, as if to confirm that what the tabby wrote was true.

“You’re not cats?” Mariposa asked, hardly believing what she was asking.

And then they nodded!

Chapter Fourteen

“How did you become cats?” Mariposa asked, for she was very curious as to how such a thing would happen.

The tabby took the gel pen again.

Mariposa read:

“A witch cursed us. She lived next door to us and didn’t like to hear us fighting, so she cursed us.”

“Is there any way I can help?” Mariposa asked, wishing to help the poor things.

The black cat seemed to nod at her. Mariposa turned to the other tabby cat, to see if this was true, for the tabby was very reliable to her so far.

The tabby nodded, confirming this truth.

“Well then, what can I do?”

Chapter Fifteen

The tabby took the pen and wrote:

“You have a gift, Mariposa.”

“A gift? Where?” Mariposa asked, looking around. She didn’t see any presents anywhere.

“Not a gift as in a present. You have a special power. Your stories can become true. If you can tell a story where we can become humans. If you tell that story, we will be free.”

What was she waiting for?

Chapter Sixteen

Without further ado, Mariposa opened her mouth and began telling a story that would save the bewitched children:

“There were two children. Two children, close siblings.”

She sure hoped that it would work.

“Until there weren’t. The evil witch came along and turned them into cats!”

Now for the good part..

“But then they met a nice girl named Mariposa who helped them become people again.”

Nothing happened. The cats stayed as cats. Maybe it wouldn’t work. Maybe-

The black cat jumped out of her arms and landed on the floor and-

There wasn’t a cat!

There was a boy with messy black hair and blue eyes and very dirty clothes.

Mariposa whipped her head back to the desk, not wanting to give herself false hope-

The tabby wasn’t there.

“Over here!” A girl’s voice said behind her.

Mariposa turned around.

Sitting on her bed was a girl with curly light brown hair and green eyes, who was also wearing dirty clothes.

The girl smiled at her.

Mariposa looked down at the boy, who was also smiling at her.

She thought to herself:

And they all lived Happily Ever After.

Chapter Seventeen

AT DINNER

Mariposa didn’t say anything at the dinner table. She didn’t want to expose Faith and Arthur (those were the names of her new friends) to her parents. They’d take them away from her!

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Mom asked.

“Nothing.”

“You haven’t spoken at all. Are you hiding something?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Chapter Eighteen

YEARS LATER-MARIPOSA IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD

They were still there. Faith and Arthur. They still played with her. They still loved her.

No one ever found out about them.

No one.

Chapter Nineteen

MARIPOSA’S BEDROOM

Mariposa stared out the window. Faith and Arthur were playing with each other, much better than when they were cats, when-

Something flickered outside.

She blinked. There was nothing th-

But there was.

There was a woman standing outside.

Chapter Twenty

OUTSIDE

Mariposa crawled out her window, wanting to see the woman. To get a closer look at her.

She finally reached the woman, who grinned at her, showing off all her pearly white teeth.

“You may call me Maybel.”

“Who are you? Why are you here?”

“I’m the witch. The one who has cursed Faith and Arthur.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

Maybel walked closer to Mariposa, her eyes all white.

“They fought all the time outside my house.”

“I turned them into fighting cats. And you turned them back.”

“They don’t understand the crimes of their actions.”

“So, here’s what you’re going to do: You’re going to turn them into fighting cats again or I’ll make you disappear.”

Mariposa lifted her left hand up, which was starting to fade.

“What’s going on?” Faith asked.

Mariposa turned around.

Faith and Arthur huddled each other, watching Mariposa and Maybel. They looked so helpless and little…

But Mariposa didn’t want to disappear.

“I’m sorry.”

Epilogue

YEARS LATER-MARIPOSA IS AN ADULT

She ended up making them fighting cats again. Only because she didn’t want to die.

However, Mariposa knew of a way to save them.

She had to find someone of her ability to finish the story the right way.

So, she told the same story to the same girl, Dawn Henderson, (now a woman). But instead of ending it happily, she ended it with fighting.

Dawn didn’t finish the story. In fact, she enjoyed it.

One day, someone would finish the story.

In the meantime, Faith, Arthur, and Mariposa suffered forevermore.


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Fri Jun 16, 2023 10:58 pm
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Spearmint wrote a review...



Hey vampricone! ^-^ I'm pretty sure this is my first time reviewing one of your stories, but wow, I really enjoyed it. It was kind of like a fairy tale, but it reminds me of this other book of stories I have where they don't always have happy endings. (Which, honestly, is more realistic.) I think it's amazing that you were able to tell a story like this in such a short amount of time.
Anyways, I don't have too many overall thoughts, so I'll just jump right into specifics.

She was stuck in bed, paralyzed to the sound of screaming, dying, helpless cats…

I loved this first part. The sentences are short and simple, and yet they paint a clear picture of this girl in her bedroom, terrified by the sound of cats fighting outside. Great job!

Mariposa could hear the carnage from her window.

She feared that one of the cats would die in blood and carnage.

You repeat "carnage" here. Also, I think "carnage" is supposed to be used when there's a large number of people being killed, so maybe a different word like "bloodbath" or "devastation" or "mauling" or something would work better? Just a minor thing! :]

“I don’t like it.”

“Deal with it.”

I don't know whether the lack of description for the mom was intentional or not, but I really like it. It emphasizes this feeling that Mariposa is alone, with no one to really listen to her.

There were small paws trotting the ground behind her.

It couldn’t be real.

It was just her…

Imagination.

This part gave me chills in a super good way. 0.0

But the girl was running away from her, possibly to join all of her friends.

Mariposa huddled herself on the bench. The cold air nipped at her thin brown arms.

She almost made a friend. A best friend, perhaps.

Now, this interaction was interesting. I think that girl was the Dawn Henderson mentioned at the end of the story? It's a little unclear, though. And I'm not sure how Mariposa knows that Dawn has the same power, so maybe a little clarification there would be helpful.

The tabby jumped on her desk. It took one of her glitter gel pens from her sparkly pencil cup with its mouth.

Then, it began to write (she sometimes forgot to put the caps on, so it didn’t need to take out the pen cap) on her open notebook.

While I love that this tabby is writing with a sparkly gel pen, the phrasing here feels a little clunky to me. I think it's the parentheses in the second paragraph. Maybe you could put the detail about the missing cap before that sentence? Like so: "The tabby jumped on her desk. It took one of the uncapped glitter gel pens from her sparkly pencil cup with its mouth. (She must've forgotten to put the cap back on after using it again.)

Then, the cat began to write on her open notebook."
Hmm... that's still not the best... but hopefully you get what I'm saying. ^^'

“Not a gift as in a present. You have a special power. Your stories can become true. If you can tell a story where we can become humans. If you tell that story, we will be free.”

Oooh, that's a cool power. C:

No one ever found out about them.

No one.

That repetition sounds a little menacing. >.>

Mariposa lifted her left hand up, which was starting to fade.

I'd love to see a little more of Mariposa's reaction here! Maybe she gasps, or it feels like ice water fills her veins, or fear causes her disappearing fingers to tremble.

But Mariposa didn’t want to disappear.

“I’m sorry.”

This part. Agh. </3 :'(

In the meantime, Faith, Arthur, and Mariposa suffered forevermore.

:'(( This feels like a very fitting ending for the story. Of course the solution wouldn't be that simple, although I do also marvel at the witch's grudge-holding abilities. xD

Anyways, thanks for the great story, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D






Thanks for reviewing! In fact, Mariposa did meet Dawn when they were younger.





I didn%u2019t know carnage meant that. Thank you for telling me, I edited this.



Spearmint says...


Awesome! :D



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Wed Mar 29, 2023 1:52 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hello this is Foxmaster!!!🦊
Well, this was a very intriguing story here. The cats were super original and, honestly I hope you make a part two because I enjoyed this so much. Anyway...
[quoteMariposa Diablo tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn’t stop hearing the meowing, couldn’t stop hearing the scratches, the fight-

They were still fighting, those cats. Next there would be blood and then one of them would die and-

It stopped.

The meowing stopped.

Mariposa breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, those cats stopped fi-

One of them screamed.

Well, not really screamed. More like screeched. But that one single, desperate meow sounded something like a scream. It was so loud and lonely and in despair and..

Her fingers, slick with sweat, gripped the bedcovers tightly.

She couldn’t let go or move at all.

She was stuck in bed, paralyzed to the sound of screaming, dying, helpless cats…[/quote]
Okay, my first thought: Aw, those poor cats! (In fact, my shirt is covered in cat hair right now) The cats certainly sound violent, always beating each other up! I wonder why...........
[quotehe was walking in the school, surrounded by barren walls and sulking children.

Mariposa wasn’t alone.

There were small paws trotting the ground behind her.

It couldn’t be real.

It was just her…

Imagination.[/quote]
*Gasps* The cats are following her?! She's being haunted?! What could the cats possibly want from her?!
[quoteThis time, she actually saw the cat. The cat was a tabby cat, with sparkling green eyes and…

Bleeding scars on the left side of its body. Probably from the fight.

Mariposa untangled herself from the huddle, intrigued by the little beast, and then-

The cat leaped into her leap and purred contentedly.

Mariposa looked around. The other kids didn’t seem to notice the cat. The teachers all spoke with one another, too invested with their conversation to pay attention to the girl and the cat.

She stroked the creature’s soft head, no longer fearing the animal. It seemed nice enough, despite that it was dead and all.[/quote]
Ohh so the -cue heavenly choir- cats are zombies now? Wonder how that happened......?
[quoteThe tabby took the pen and wrote:

“You have a gift, Mariposa.”

“A gift? Where?” Mariposa asked, looking around. She didn’t see any presents anywhere.

“Not a gift as in a present. You have a special power. Your stories can become true. If you can tell a story where we can become humans. If you tell that story, we will be free.”

What was she waiting for?[/quote]
Mariposa has a special power? So original!!!! So magical!!! So... zombie-ghost filled!!!

“I’m the witch. The one who has cursed Faith and Arthur.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

Maybel walked closer to Mariposa, her eyes all white.

“They fought all the time outside my house.”

“I turned them into fighting cats. And you turned them back.”

“They don’t understand the crimes of their actions.”

“So, here’s what you’re going to do: You’re going to turn them into fighting cats again or I’ll make you disappear.”

Mariposa lifted her left hand up, which was starting to fade.

“What’s going on?” Faith asked.

Mariposa turned around.

Faith and Arthur huddled each other, watching Mariposa and Maybel. They looked so helpless and little…

But Mariposa didn’t want to disappear.

“I’m sorry.”

Oookay so at the end of this I was really confused. How was she suffereing? That's all!
-Foxmaster






She felt bad for her choice.

But this adventure will continue someday%u2026




"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
— Bishop Desmond Tutu