*This story isn’t canon to my lore. I just thought that it would be fun for my first vampire OC to meet my first clown OC. The vampire OC is from my story underneath my folder “Adventures of Poppy and others”. The clown OC is from my story underneath my folder “Clowns, magic, murder, and lies”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*
Derek did a double take out the bedroom window.
Standing in his backyard was a young girl with soft, white wings on her back and clown makeup on her face, who he believed was six feet tall.
Derek didn’t know why she was there, but maybe he could find out. Poppy and the girls were at the local playground anyway.
He opened the window and jumped.
…………………………………………………….
Derek landed on his feet, the rain soaked grass tickling his skin. He didn’t feel cold in his shorts and tank top, unlike how a human would feel.
The clown angel girl ran towards him, excitement in every step she took.
“Hi there! I’m Philippa, what’s your name?” She asked once she got up to him.
Philippa had large red eyes tinted with innocence he saw in his own two girls.
“It’s nice to meet you, Philippa. My name is Derek. Might I ask why you’re here?”
Her eyes had a wave of fear wash over them, as if she didn’t want to answer the question. He tried to ask as politely as he could, but maybe it came out wrong.
“I didn’t mean to come here. Sometimes I get bored and then I just close my eyes and wish to be somewhere else. I’ll leave now.” Philippa said, backing away.
He didn’t want her to leave so soon. He thought maybe they could get to know each other a little bit before she would have to go.
“You can stay for a while if you want.” Derek said.
“Only for a little bit.” Philippa said carefully.
“Of course.” Derek replied.
At least he would have company.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hey there vampricone
another review from meeeee -- I'm going through some of the works that's been in the Green Room for awhile and I've stumbled upon this. I've not read anything outside of this so any of my remarks will be about this piece alone ^^
ooooh fun! I wonder -- this piece seems very much just like some fun so I wonder what you're looking for with reviews on pieces such as this. I feel like you're not really much looking for feedback as much as just reactions and just letting the reader have fun alongside the fun you had as writing.
I like the description here! A great little way to give a sensation there. More of this!!
I think it's fun that Derek associates Philippa with his daughters and sees the innocence in her. It's cute! And he lets down his guard.
I'd really like to see more to this. Perhaps we see the scene after where they chat a little? Perhaps we get a bit of Philippa's pov here? You said you wanted the characters to meet but I feel like it would be fun to see them interact more than the first couple of interactions. I like the joy from Philippa but I don't get much interaction at all. What's here is fun! I just would love to see more of the fun, y'know ^^
Anywayy, hope this helped
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: A nice little snippet this one I think. I wonder if its part of a larger story perhaps. This definitely seems to be the beginning of something here from the looks of things.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that's certainly quite the meeting. Definitely not the typical thing you expect to see outside your window on a daily basis that much is quite clear. Let's see exactly how this ends up being handled here. There's definitely a bit of shock involved at the moment.
Hmm well at the very least the intentions seemed to be innocent enough up to now and the girl or our protagonist here doesn't seem in too much immediate danger. Let's see exactly where this heads though. I've learnt not to trust things being too rosy.
Hmm well that's a surprisingly wholesome ending. Certainly not the sort of thing that you tend to run into every day there. Sure its a bit of a tentative situation for the both of them and they are sort of on eggshells but it seems they both want a little company and they are going to provide it for each other.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a lovely little piece. Its quite simple and it gets that simple message across rather well I think. I quite enjoyed seeing the vibes that it creates here and I honestly just want to know more about how this develops.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
This is a nice piece of writing about a nice encounter, but I wouldn't call this a short story.