z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence Mature Content

Clyde’s story

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This is the origin of a character from a tale in my story “31 Horrific Halloween Tales”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Introduction

Clyde loved his teen daughter, Davina. He cared for her deeply, despite the fact that she seemed to think that Clarissa was a better parent than him.

But he never imagined that she would betray him in such a way and leave him to rot!

Well, he knew better.

But he didn’t know then.

Chapter One

THE ARRIVAL OF DAVINA DAVIS-SUNDAY, MAY 15th, 2016.

Clyde Miller fumbled with the TV remote, trying to find a show that Davina would like. That’s what teens these days liked, wasn’t it? TV? He normally wouldn’t even touch the remote or so much as give the television blank screen a passing glance, but this time was different. This time, in years, Davina would visit him once again. Clarissa had taken the rights of custody to her and hadn’t let Davina see him. For all he knew, she must have thought of him as a dead beat. He had to prove her wrong, he had to show her-

Ding Dong

Clyde jumped up from the couch and cringed as the remote fell on the ground. The batteries rolled around the floor. He would have to clean that up later.

Ding Dong

Again, that sound! It was as if Davina couldn’t stop ringing the bell!

He stumbled to the door and slipped as his hand went past the doorknob. His hand was so clammy and sweaty. He wiped it on his pants and opened the door.

Was this young girl in the soft pink dress with the long black hair really Davina? The last time he saw her she was a mere child.

Now she was an adolescent, ready to explore the world.

“Are you going to let me in?” Davina asked with a tone of impatience he hadn’t remembered her having.

“Yes, yes, come in!” Clyde said, gesturing for her to enter.

Davina stepped inside.

They were together once more!

Chapter Two

“Do you have anything good on?” Davina asked disapprovingly, flicking through the channels.

“Yeah, sure.” He said, searching through them.

He finally found one he thought that Davina would like.

But when he turned around, Davina didn’t smile or show any excitement at all.

She just had a blank expression on her face.

Maybe that was normal for her. He shouldn’t worry. This was the first time in years he was seeing her again. People changed over time.

Clyde left the living room to make himself a sandwich in the kitchen.

Chapter Three

THREE DAYS LATER

She was just so distant these past few days. Davina only said “sure” and “okay”. She never really looked him in the eye, either. It was like she was repulsed by him.

Clyde waited in the living room for Davina to come home from school. Did she like board games? Camping? When she was little she used to like camping. Clyde didn’t know if she still liked camping.

The doorbell rang. At least she rang the doorbell.

Clyde got off of the couch and answered the door.

Davina was there, but there was a young boy about the same age as her with her.

“Dad, meet Eric. Eric, meet Dad.”

Chapter Four

“Who is this?” Clyde asked.

“I met him at school today. He’s my new friend.” Davina beamed.

She seemed happier with him around, unlike the past three days.

“Well. Come in.” Clyde said, welcoming the two of them.

He didn’t expect her to bring someone else over. She didn’t seem like a talkative person.

Well, there was something new to learn about everyone!

Chapter Five

Eric and Davina didn’t say much to each other. All they did was nod and turn their eyes on Clyde.

He wanted to ask them what was going on, but decided against it.

Why not just let them be themselves? Certainly nothing bad would come of it.

Chapter Six

He watched as Eric walked away. Davina and Eric were done talking to each other and now he was going home.

“Dad? What’s your problem?”

“You guys said nothing. Absolutely nothing. You just nodded and looked at me. What’s up with that?”

“Nothing you should worry about. We’re just hanging out.”

Clyde didn’t look at her. He still watched Eric, who was beginning to look like a speck of dust.

He closed the blinds when Eric left.

He shouldn’t have been watching him, yet he felt the need to.

Why?

Chapter Seven

THE NEXT DAY

Clyde could hear them whispering upstairs, Davina and Eric. He didn’t know what they were saying, but it bothered him that they had to whisper when they were only in Davina’s room.

He stood next to her door, listening in. They didn’t open it, so they didn’t know he was standing outside.

“His birthday is coming up.”

Yes, it was going to be Clyde’s birthday soon.

“Now will be the perfect time to do it.”

Do what?

“I can’t, Eric. I can’t go through with this.”

Through with what? What?

“We’ve been planning it out all day at school. We have to do it. It’s the only way you’ll be free. Davina, I love you. I want to do this and so do you.”

What were they talking about?

“Is killing my Dad really the best choice?”

Killing him? Murder?

“It’s not murder. We’re just sending him to Heaven early.”

Killing…murder…

His own daughter was plotting to kill him?

Chapter Eight

Clyde walked downstairs when he heard their footsteps approaching the door. He didn’t want to run. That would only cause suspicion and for his murder to happen faster, which he didn’t want.

The rag he used to clean his dust-ridden house lay limply in his left hand. Perhaps he would be limp like the rag when the police found his body, hidden behind some bush-

He had to talk with Davina. Get through to her. Coax her into reason. There was no denying it, he heard them as clear as day. If he just talked to her, then maybe Davina would change her mind. It wasn’t like she wanted to do it, right? He could let her know that murder wasn’t the way to go.

As soon as Eric left, he would have a long conversation with her.

Clyde blinked his eyes to stop the tears from coming. There was nothing to cry about. He would just talk to her and everything would be okay.

Everything would be okay…

Chapter Nine

“Dad? Dad, I’m sorry about how I’m acting. I guess I just didn’t trust you. I’m better now.” Davina said.

They were sitting in front of the TV, watching some show that had no meaning. Clyde still didn’t bring up what he heard. It sort of slipped from his heart. It was just a conversation, it didn’t mean anything. Teenagers were teenagers, they said all sorts of things.

But what she just said? That sounded so fake, so easily crafted. Like she planned it out.

Perhaps he was thinking too much? Letting it get to his head? Davina wouldn’t lie about wanting to kill him? Or would she? Did he know her at all?

No, Clyde would ask her. He had to ask.

“Davina, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, you can ask me anything.”

“Do you really want to kill me?”

Chapter Ten

Davina didn’t say anything. He didn’t even know that the words would come out of his mouth. He just couldn’t stop thinking about that conversation he happened to overhear upstairs.

“Why would you say that?” Davina asked.

Maybe it was just Clyde’s overreactive imagination, but she seemed to recoil away from him.

“I don’t know. I guess I misinterpreted what you and Eric said upstairs-“

“You were spying on us?”

“I wasn’t trying to spy on you. I just heard the two of you-“

“I can’t believe this! Right when I start trusting you, you spy on me! Eric was right about you.”

Davina got up from the couch. The TV was playing, but neither paid attention.

“What do you mean?”

What was he doing wrong? Did he let his imagination get the best of him again? Clarissa said that was his problem. That he was too imaginative.

Davina sprinted out of the living room. He tried following her, but by the time he reached her, Davina had already vanished into her room and slammed the door in his face.

Clyde stood there, tapping his fingers on the door.

“Mind explaining why you left me like that?”

No response.

“I am trying my best here and all you are doing is pushing me away. I know that we haven’t spoken in a while, but please. Explain to me how I can be a good father.”

Nothing from her. What? What did she want? Him to leave? Clyde didn’t know. She wouldn’t tell him.

He left anyway. It didn’t feel right, standing behind her door.

Chapter Eleven

Clyde sat at the edge of his bed, thinking of Davina.

What did she mean?

What was she going to do?

What-

“Sweetheart, look at me.”

Chapter Twelve

Clyde recognized the voice the moment he heard it. It had been so long, but he would always know who that voice belonged to.

“Clarissa?”

Clyde turned to his right, where the window overlooked the overgrown backyard. The moonlight shone on the silhouette standing in front of it.

From what he could tell, the person was a female clown wearing a bright yellow tutu. She a blue, heavily designed shirt. She had one button eye and one milky, fading pink eye. She had a lipsticked smile which turned up just like how Clarissa used to smile.

She took a step forward. Her lavender curls and pigtails seemed to bounce as she did so.

“Are you really her?”

“Yes. As hard as it is to believe, I’m Clarissa.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“I promise you, this is no dream.”

“Why are you here? Why is Davina like this? Why do you look like that?”

Clyde gestured to her clown getup. He couldn’t believe that this was real, but at the moment, this was happening and he had to accept it. As soon as he woke up, he’d laugh at what an insane long dream he had. Perhaps Clarissa and Davina never left him. Maybe everything he had experienced since then was all just a dream.

“I can’t tell you why Davina is like this because I don’t know. I think it may be because of our separation. Maybe that is a factor. I’m not sure. But I was going to have Davina visit you when she was eleven.”

“Eleven? That’s still years lost to me ever seeing her.”

“Your sensitivity would have killed her.”

“Well she’s going to kill me, so I guess we’re even.”

Maybe he deserved Davina to kill him if he made her uncomfortable.

“Don’t talk like that.”

Clyde got up from the bed. What nerve did she have to be there after all those years? Did she really care about him or was she only pretending? Was Davina in on it? She probably was. The both of them were plotting his demise. He could see it all, clear as day. Clarissa telling Davina to rid of her insufferable, emotional, no-good father, that she would be doing the world a favor, that she would be doing her mother a favor.

“I was going to have Davina visit you when she was eleven, but that was when she had killed me. She’s in a cult and this cult turned me into what I am now. The same will happen to you if you don’t get her the proper help.”

“Why do you care? Isn’t this what you wanted? For me to go away?” Clyde asked, tears in his eyes. He couldn’t hide it anymore. He was always boiling with emotions, thinking of when he became lost and lonely, a ghost to humanity. What did he do wrong? Clyde needed to cry, he had to cry.

He couldn’t hide it anymore.

“I never wanted anything to happen to you, Clyde. I never did. Our relationship just didn’t work out, that’s all. But that was the past.”

“It’s not the past for me.”

“Then I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Clarissa was starting to fade away. Good. He didn’t want to see her ever again. She didn’t want to see him.

He would figure it out on his own. He would deal with Davina on his own.

He was just as good as Clarissa. He deserved to live. He would end his own Hell and the nightmare would end once and for all.

Chapter Thirteen

THE NEXT MORNING

Two knocks on his door.

Clyde didn’t get up from the bed. He was buried in the covers. He liked the comfort that they gave him from the world.

Another two knocks.

Not a word from Clyde.

“Dad, I’m sorry. Can you please come out?”

Did she really mean it?  Maybe Davina meant it. Maybe he should give her a chance. It wasn’t his job to judge her. If Clarissa gave him another chance, then they would all be together. He was certain of it.

Clyde got out of bed.

“I’ll come out when I’m ready!” He said.

Chapter Fourteen

“So where are we going?” Clyde asked, leaving his room.

It was no use being mad forever. He might as well come out and join her. It was his birthday after all. Maybe she wasn’t actually going to kill him. It was ridiculous, when he thought about it. Why would she want to kill him?

“It’s a surprise.” Davina smiled.

Perhaps it was a good surprise.

Perhaps Clarissa was wrong.

Who knew? At least Davina was happy. Wasn’t that all that mattered, in the end?

Chapter Fifteen

IN THE CAR

Clyde apologized to Davina earlier, feeling much like he had no power. Was he even really the adult or did he somehow lose his adulthood after Davina was taken from him?

There was no time to think about that. Davina was driving him somewhere for his birthday. He didn’t know where. He tried asking, but she wouldn’t respond.

They were far from home, that was for sure.

Chapter Sixteen

“We’re here.” Davina said.

Clyde looked out the window. There wasn’t anything around them. Just an empty lot.

“What is this?”

“This is the place.”

Chapter Seventeen

There was no one there. There was nothing. Just nothing.

Clyde got out of the car, looking around him.

Well, in the distance he could see a ferris wheel, so there was something. Why was Davina taking him to an abandoned carnival? Did she find charm in abandoned places? It would be sweet if she did.

“Come on, we don’t have all day!” Davina called out. She already got out of the car and was waiting for him.

Clyde shook himself out of his daydreaming. He had a birthday to celebrate, an adventure to go on.

Chapter Eighteen

Clyde followed Davina, who was heading to the ferris wheel.

He truly didn’t know what would happen from then on. If he left, would he find his way back? Could he trust that Davina was giving him a genuine birthday gift?

Of course he could. What was he thinking? They were just going to an old carnival, a place that still held charm even after years of loneliness.

Still, something in him didn’t feel right.

Chapter Nineteen

“Say hi to Eric!” Davina said with a grin.

He didn’t see Eric coming when he joined Davina. Eric appeared next to her, like a phantom waiting to pounce.

The three of them were right next to the ferris wheel.

Before Clyde could say anything at all, both teens grabbed his wrists and roughly pulled him away.

Chapter Twenty

He couldn’t feel his legs anymore. The carnival that seemed abandoned a moment ago was now bustling with lights and noises, but he couldn’t see anybody. It was all blurry.

The carousel was getting closer and closer. Clyde couldn’t run. Clyde couldn’t speak. He was trapped, his heart pumping rapidly in his chest.

And then-

BANG!

Epilogue

He woke up as a clown. Clyde was always a clown, but it was starting to show on the outside. Clarissa was there, in the carnival. She had shown him his changed self with a cracked mirror lying on the ground.

Davina and Eric were gone. The carnival was back to being abandoned.

He had no idea where to go or what to do, so Clyde just closed his eyes.

He didn’t open them.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
227 Reviews

Points: 32581
Reviews: 227

Donate
Fri Sep 29, 2023 9:03 pm
View Likes
NadyaStatham wrote a review...



Salutations, curious mind!



Rinisha here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my review magic! ✨

The Good Stuff:

First of all, let's talk about the parts that really rocked!

Very nice concept you have here, along with great dialogue and characters. It is great that you start your introduction with a vision of the future, but I think you can improve on that. Once again one of those signature dark circus stories that can even make marshmallows look bad.

Marshmallows are delicious and totally irrelevant to your story. Back to your story, good choice of names too. Not to mention the signature clowns and killer daughters. You did a great job! Good title too, I must say.

Areas to Improve:✒️

I would suggest checking out this article on Getting Beginnings Right to make an improved introduction. I have the feeling that you can expand this and maybe take another approach.

Introduction

Clyde loved his teen daughter, Davina. He cared for her deeply, despite the fact that she seemed to think that Clarissa was a better parent than him.

But he never imagined that she would betray him in such a way and leave him to rot!
Well, he knew better.

But he didn’t know then.


~~~

Be sure to take a look at this article to avoid Villain Clichés to Avoid , because I've noticed that in quite some of your stories the daughter kills her parents or comes back for revenge in some sort of way. This is not a minus point for your stories, just something to help you improve on your writing.

“Is killing my Dad really the best choice?”

Killing him? Murder?

“It’s not murder. We’re just sending him to Heaven early.”


Killing…murder…

His own daughter was plotting to kill him?


~~~

I think it's important that you keep a certain consistency in your story, because I've noticed that sometimes you put a subtitle with a chapter and then not. Try to keep things consistent, that way it's easier for the reader.

Chapter Thirteen

THE NEXT MORNING


And here

Chapter Fourteen


Nailed It!💐

In the whole story, this is my favourite description of the story. I like how you really gave Clarissa one of those pink tutus. It kind of reminds me of Netflix's film Yesday, where Jennifer Garner was wearing one of those tutus with glitter all over her face and striped socks.

From what he could tell, the person was a female clown wearing a bright yellow tutu. She a blue, heavily designed shirt. She had one button eye and one milky, fading pink eye. She had a lipsticked smile which turned up just like how Clarissa used to smile.

She took a step forward. Her lavender curls and pigtails seemed to bounce as she did so.


Overall Feelings:

You have great ideas and fit a lot of chatters into one, which I think has its advantages and disadvantages. Great theme to work on with your circus. Great names for your characters! Take a look at these articles, I am sure they will help you.

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉

Image




User avatar
702 Reviews

Points: 87926
Reviews: 702

Donate
Sun Sep 17, 2023 3:45 am
View Likes
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Oh, yikes! Poor Clyde. I know I've read some of your dark tales before, but this one is probably on the creepier side, especially considering all the clown references. I thought you did a great job of laying out all the plot points and taking the readers on a journey of horror, emotion, and surprising moments of tenderness as well.

One thing I enjoyed was your characterization of Clyde. I think it was so sweet how deep down, he really did care for Davina and want her to be happy. I just find the stereotype of the somewhat clueless dad just trying to do his best and make his daughter happy, especially when she's a teen and in a bit of a weird phase. You used a lot of nice details to show it, especially when he's fumbling with the TV remote; that was a great example of showing not telling, and it really stood out to me.

Another thing I enjoy about all your stories is the bit of absurdist quality they have to them; many of the decisions characters make are not realistic in the slightest, but that adds to their charms; I feel like it incorporates a bit of dramatic irony to watch the characters blow off a ton of suspicious activity and eventually meet their dooms at the hands of something that, from the readers' perspectives, was obviously easily avoided.

One thing I wondered was about the pacing of the story; I like how it was told in little vignettes, but I felt like it moved a little fast sometimes. I think the plot point that most irked me was Clyde's conversation with Clarissa; while it was also sweet, in its own way, there was also a bit of a spoiler element going on, where she basically just revealed the whole mystery surrounding Davina and Eric. I think that maybe, if you had Clyde discover that for himself, it'd be a bit scarier. Like if Davina took him to the carnival and then he slowly realized one of the clowns was his ex-wife and tried to escape, but by then it'd be already too late. The appearance of her ghost just felt a little like deus ex machina to me.

Overall: nice work! I really liked the story elements to this one, and hope you write more/have written more for Davina and Eric! Until next time!





The continuation of our world depends more on the survival of the kindest than it does on the survival of the fittest.
— Arcticus