z
  • Home

Young Writers Society

The Gift Giving Day Begins In...

[ Click here for more info ]


E - Everyone

A Heavenly swim..

by thegayestwriterever


I took a swim in the pool we call love, it was warm and even though I feared drowning it was a risk I was willing to take to have my body in something so comforting. I swam around enjoying the warm water against my skin until the water began to turn into a crimson murk all around me. I saw you with a knife in your hands with blood on the blade and your hands. I looked down and saw the wound in my chest and placed my hand over it and began to sink underwater. As I descend I see my life flash again with my tears floating around me like bubbles. I wish you would tell me what I did to deserve you killing me this way..

๐“˜ ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ต๐“ธ๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐”‚ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฏ๐“ฎ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ด๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ผ..


๐“˜'๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ฏ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ฑ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“˜ ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ฎ, ๐“น๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ผ๐“ฎ, ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ถ ๐“ฏ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ..


๐“‘๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐”‚ ๐“ต๐“พ๐“ท๐“ฐ๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ


๐“›๐“ฒ๐“บ๐“พ๐“ฒ๐“ญ ๐“ฏ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฎ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ถ.. ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ธ๐“น๐“ผ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ถ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐”‚๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐”€ ๐“ซ๐“ช๐“ญ๐“ต๐”‚ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฑ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฝ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ.


๐“ฃ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ'๐“ผ ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ผ ๐“ฌ๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ถ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ท ๐“ฏ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป..


๐“˜ ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“˜'๐“ถ ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ, ๐“ซ๐“พ๐“ฝ ๐“˜ ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ด๐“ท๐“ธ๐”€ ๐“ฒ๐“ฏ ๐“˜'๐“ถ ๐“ผ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ท๐“ธ๐”€..


And when I looked up at the surface of the water above me, I saw somebody with familiar eyes..














๐“˜๐“ฝ'๐“ผ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐”€๐“ช๐“ท๐“ท๐“ช ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ ๐“˜ ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ญ.
โ™ฑย 


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
12 Reviews

Points: 116
Reviews: 12

Donate
Tue Dec 10, 2024 12:02 am
View Likes
seawolf wrote a review...



First off, I really like the font. The fact that your scared of drowning as seen in your other poems really helps with context of this poem. Not really any critiques. I really love this, it reminds me of my own personal fears. This poem really spoke to me. Good work and keep writing!!! As the previous reviewer said, it reminds me of betrayal.




User avatar
16 Reviews

Points: 208
Reviews: 16

Donate
Sun Dec 08, 2024 2:43 am
View Likes
Ambrose1234 wrote a review...



Alright review time!

I see this as a pretty interesting poem, and I've seen your other poem where you specifically said you are afraid of drowning. I don't have any critiques I could make. The font is nice to read (HOW TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW!!!).

Overall, this poem is good. I'm honestly afraid that my friends might stab me in the back one day, though that isn't likely, I'm still scared. This poem reminded me of that feeling. and I'm ranting again. Anyways, good poem, I really like it!





The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You donโ€™t write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kidโ€™s burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big thing, and you work off the resonance.
— Richard Price