Young Writers Society

There's so much to unpack here, but you were able to establish several unsaid things in the poem. For one, the man that the narrator is talking about was apparently very close to them. From the fact that they can identify their footsteps, you could determine that they clearly spent much time together. The poem can be interpreted as a story about two people who were in a toxic relationship (or perhaps friendship but the first seems more likely).

I admire how you show the mixed emotions the narrator has. The mind and the heart are at war once more. The ending gives a clear giveaway on which side won. Personally, I liked this piece because of how it expresses the raw emotions of the narrator.

My advice is more on improving the grammar and vocabulary. It would make the story much more impactful in my opinion as there are some words strung together that can really tug hearts. (E.g. But mind said, "This is who broke you! Tore you! Left you! And shattered you in pieces) You know something like that heh

Overall, this is a good piece. Keep up the good work!

I can feel the loss in this. It brings about my own feelings of inadequacy. It speaks to me of the strength that is required to hold true to your sense of self worth, no matter how lonely and crippling it might make you feel. I think you could do a bit more with the prose to convey the feelings and emotions in a more raw rather than story format. Overall, I enjoyed reading it.

I can feel the loss in this. It brings about my own feelings of inadequacy. It speaks to me of the strength that is required to hold true to your sense of self worth, no matter how lonely and crippling it might make you feel. I think you could do a bit more with the prose to convey the feelings and emotions in a more raw rather than story format. Overall, I enjoyed reading it.