Young Writers Society

Good Morning, Afternoon, Evening, or Night!

I wanted to start out by saying how much I loved your poem! It has such a beautiful feel; a sense of deep love the narrator has for their lover, and beautifully laid hints of self deprecation. Your poem, at least to me, seemed to embody the self esteem issues that can accompany any relationship. Never believing you’re good enough, especially compared to your partner, who is your whole world.

I love your word choice in this poem. In particular, my favorite line is “my beauty must've made you a liar." It’s such a sad line, and a beautiful ending to your poem. All in all, your poem really pulled at my heart stings, and I’m glad I got to read it. Stay safe, and keep writing!

-Lizzy

i think i love her.
she thinks i am something worth loving.
her body tells stories i would have
never thought to write down.

Hi,

I'm very happy to leave you a review.

First of all...I love your writing! It's just amazing!

The way you wrote: it really made the poem come alive, I could really feel what was happening. Very nice that you talked about the love and your word of choice also very specific and nice.

You really made this poem in some sort of a story which was very nice and it was easy readable and to understand.

Love the two last lines:

""i said
"your beauty would've made me a poet
if i wasn't one already."

she said
"my beauty must've made you a liar." "

These lines are the best! They have just everything in it for a perfect ending. I could just hear the girl say "My beauty must've made you a liar."

Very good! I really like your poem! I'm surely gonna read more of you!

If you could read & review my story also: "MaryAnna" or "In the elevator". I would be very happy.

- Rinisha

lkasjdfhfdjskf chi i live for your poems about love

Hi chi!

I always see your poetry when I'm looking to review something. It must be a sign!

The first stanza is great! I think it says a lot about the relationship between the two people, but also just the narrator! They are nocturnal, but their lover isn't. That's one way they differ, and it could change their relationship. It's like an opposites attract kind of thing, but in a poetic way! Just from one stanza, I can see so much potential.

Even outside of stanzas, there are so many beautiful lines in here!
"if i wasn't me, i think i'd want to be a lot like her."
"her body tells stories i would have never thought to write down."
"your beauty would've made me a poet if i wasn't one already."

I love the overarching adoration that the narrator has for her! There is still a lot of tension, but it feels very one-sided. What I'm interpreting is that the narrator wants to fix their strained relationship, but the lover couldn't care less. It's subtle, but I like that about it! There are a lot of ways to read into what's happening!

I do agree that the ending isn't very conclusive! I love how it's worded, but I don't think it fits with the rest of the poem. It feels rushed to me. The poem focuses on how they haven't been talking, but then suddenly they do! The lines are gorgeous, but I wish there was more context for them. Especially considering the previous stanzas!

Like here:
"she said nothing, so that meant i was right about everything"
"she said 'my beauty must've made you a liar.'"

This was lovely though! It showcases your voice nicely! =D

— Solstice

hey, I am here for the review.

so let's start, first I really liked the premise of the poem, it is a sweet read with a mix of uncertainty that the writer feels toward his or her lover. you did a good job of conveying the confusion you feel.
most of the poem is based on I think --- (I think I am better off left , i think i love her , i don't think she worries, she thinks I am something worth it, etc )
these (I think) give the reader that the happening may or may not be real, they might just be the writer's perception which kind of give it a sad, bitter-sweet undertone.

there is not much rhyme or structure going on, the -Ing sound does repeat a lot in the beginning, but I would still categorize it as a free verse.

the ending is not very conclusive,
it is just a suggestion, and I am a very mediocre writer so take it with a grain of salt, but it would have been nice if you would have used the title sentence in the poem somewhere. maybe added it after your ending as a kind of circular ending.

other than that I liked reading it , it is a nice sweet casual poem