z

Young Writers Society



dust, dust

by soundofmind


A/N: The first line of the song links to a recording of me singing and playing it! If you're able to listen while you read I would greatly appreciate it! :)

You left
Suddenly
Suddenly
They found you

Fallen somewhere
In the nowhere
Wonder how long
You waited there

I'm sure you know I’m
Gonna miss you
I'm sure you know I
Wish I were there

As the forest
Comes to claim you
Earthen dust
Comes back to take you

If I was beside you
Buried in the dirt
Where we were
Where we were supposed to die together

Would anybody miss me
It was just you and me
I wish I was dust, dust
We’re gone forever

Do you notice
How your soul lifts
From your ashes
In the ground

Do you see me
Bowed on my knees
Gripping hope
Where it can’t be found

If I was beside you
Buried in the dirt
Where we were
Where we were supposed to die together

Would anybody miss me
It was just you and me
I wish I was dust, dust
We’re gone forever


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
91 Reviews


Points: 2160
Reviews: 91

Donate
Mon Jun 03, 2019 4:27 am
View Likes
AlyTheBookworm says...



Hey Sound!

This isn't a review and I don't have any criticism, I just happened across this and wanted to say that you have a really beautiful voice. I love the harmony... I got chills when it came in, haha. I don't know the story behind the lyrics, but it's both lovely and haunting. My favorite line was probably "Fallen somewhere, in the nowhere".

I think I'll have to go check out your other songs now. :)




soundofmind says...


oh gosh, thanks so much Aly!!! %u2764%uFE0F



User avatar
616 Reviews


Points: 122617
Reviews: 616

Donate
Sun Jun 02, 2019 9:23 am
View Likes
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a few things to say about your song, and to help get it out the green room.

Let's start shall we?

Okay so I couldn't find a single thing wrong with this work everything was just perfect in my opinion.
To be honest all the songs you write are amazing. I guess it's easier to do songs than chapters because you are singing them. So you will be able to pick up were you need to fix.
Anyway I just loved what you have here, I just love the story you have written, it's like two people who love each other are not together any more, but that's because one of them passed away. And I really can pick up on the emotion in the lyrics. And in the way you have written it out.
I also love the flow of it too. I think that's another thing that just makes the song so perfect. Just amazing job.
You really are one very skilled singer and writer. I hope I will get to see another song from you soon, because I just adore them. I hope you will keep writing and post again on YWS soon. Have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.




soundofmind says...


Thanks so much FlamingPhoenix! Your interpretation is spot on :)





I'm glad! :D



User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 300
Reviews: 37

Donate
Sat Jun 01, 2019 2:27 am
View Likes
demoncat says...



Hello this is demoncat
And omg that was literally amazing. Like im about to listen to it but even without hearing it I couldn't help but sing along. Like wow! That's all I can say but wow! It looks like the kind of song I would listen to. It has a good rythem​ great music and it's relatable.its soooo goooood. And I really wanna read more. And hear more. Because im about to listen. It's amazing. I love it. Wow. Ok I just listened to it and your voice is amazing how is your voice so amazing?




soundofmind says...


Hey demoncat! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the rhythm and the lyrics. :)



User avatar
42 Reviews


Points: 106
Reviews: 42

Donate
Thu May 30, 2019 1:59 pm
View Likes
Corvus wrote a review...



this is an amazing song; the lyrics flow well and the tone is clear. I love the way you captured the emotion in the lyrics. I have no real critiques to give, but here are some things I really like.

"Fallen somewhere
In the nowhere
Wonder how long
You waited there"
this flows very well, I like the slight rhyme scheme.

"If I was beside you
Buried in the dirt
Where we were
Where we were supposed to die together"
this. this is the line that makes the song. you made this part so emotional.

well done! this is an amazing piece, and I would like to read more from you.

you have a nice voice
~corvus




soundofmind says...


Thanks so much for the review and the encouraging words, CorvusQueen!



User avatar
92 Reviews


Points: 2387
Reviews: 92

Donate
Thu May 30, 2019 1:18 pm
View Likes
AvantCoffee says...



Aaa! Is this a continuation song from fool's wish? The way it begins is like a transition~




soundofmind says...


me, oblivious to how it totally could be a transition: yes



AvantCoffee says...


why is that me whenever someone points out something accidentally meaningful in my writing



AvantCoffee says...


not so much musically but lyrically it repeats similar to the end of fool's wish lol idek don't mind me

this song is nice and ur lovely i miss talking to u on yws T_T



soundofmind says...


LOL,, U RIGHT THO, it's similar theme/topic and all!!! it totally flows,,, like,,, an album owo?? LOOKIT ME

also U R LOVELY AND I LOV TALKING TO U HI



AvantCoffee says...


HA EXACTLY

and asdfgjhl <3




"Perhaps it is better to wake up after all, even to suffer, rather than to remain a dupe to illusions all one's life."
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening