Hello, again, I'm here to review another one of your collaborative poems.
The first thing I noticed about this poem is the length. But as in the words of Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants: "Short, sweet, and to the point."
One thing I'd like to point out is something Rydia and Nikayla had already pointed out: The first and second line. I'd like to see them flipped around as well. The second line seems like something that would start a poem because of the wording.
Also, when you're mentioning Sassafras's name, you forgot an s at the end. Just a writing mistake, I heard all about those.
Overall, this was a cute, short little poem you three wrote, and I can't wait for your third collaborative poem you publish!
~gxldencrxwns
Points: 2990
Reviews: 69
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