Young Writers Society

Hey! Adele here

First of all, as many others said in their comments, the imagery and metaphors in your poem are delightful. I think you could expand on this piece, and that might help connect everything a bit better (re: elysian's review).

Also, make sure you're consistent with your tense. The majority of the poem is in past tense, but there are a couple lines that are in present: "People around me have grenades stuck inside their brains" and "I worry too much how my words are bullets".

Of course, take or leave my comments. They're only ways that I personally think you might be able to improve your work, but it ultimately is your work and it's your choice what suggestions you choose to (or choose to not) implement.

Overall, great piece and I look forward to reading more of your work!

Well, this is my first reveiw, so here goes! This is a beautiful poem, and I love the symbolism all throughout it. The regret of wasted time is something we all can relate to, as well as the feeling of fearing wasting the time of others. I also can sympathise the feeling of being surrounded by those with thoughts, and darker still, sometimes hopes, of war.

A wonderful work of art, keep it up!

the hands of the clock! superrr creative. i would love to know the inspiration behind this. and also the meaning behind it? is it about how pressured you feel? that is what i took away from it because it is something i can understand. love it. keep writing! you are great!

I love the whole clock bit. I love the metaphors and the symbolism. Overall, it's a great poem. You're a great poet, keep working!

I like the metaphors and poetic features in this! What strikes me is the way you described everything so vividly. I just love that.
I think everything is a little blurred. I understand some of the links but I don’t understand how grenades and clocks and boredom are meant to connect to each other. Care to explain?
Mostly I like it though. It does confuse me but then most poetry does.
I hope this was a decent review. I’m not very good at reviewing poetry, but there you go. It’s something I need to get better at.

Hello! I'm not great at reviewing poetry (as you know) so I'm just gonna prob tell you my general feels and interpretation of this piece :p

**disclaimer: I will most likely focus on negative aspects more so than positive aspects when reviewing, and this is just to help you grow as a writer! It is totally okay not to agree with something I say! Also, If I repeat anything already said, it's probably because it needs to be changed!**

no grammar mistakes that I can see, so good job with that!

Poem:

I love the metaphors in this poem, my only problem is that everything feels a bit disconnected. I kind of get the scene from Peter Pan when they're standing on the clock on Big Ben, but I don't completely understand how this relates to

People around me have grenades stuck inside their brains
And their hearts filled with dandelion petals.

worry too much how my words are bullets
Or, if I wandered through the dark woods a bit too far.

I began bringing boredom into my house and
We played for hours like a broken record while the
Hands of the clock ran away with the stars in the sky.