A Reason to Believe (Part 1)

So hi respup and welcome to YWS! Just rescuing this from the Green Room!

So this is a poem about being lonely and about trying to find a way out of it. And even if the narrator asks for help from the Lord (and I assume God), everything is so quiet. I like the imagery you include here, and it makes me see an empty road in my head. My favorite part is the "hollow ebony ocean". Although I'm not sure any oceans are "ebony" (unless it's so deep in that there isn't any light), I really like the "hollow" part of it--it's like the ocean is empty no matter how much water is inside.

So I see that this poem is maybe just something you want to get off your chest. I hope you'll feel better soon <333 and maybe you can talk about this to somebody whom you really trust/is close to. Since you posted it here, I'll be giving you some critiques but feel free to ignore them is this is rather cathartic.

I suggest you don't put too many ellipses in a work. Ellipses are usually effective if used sparingly, and in the last few lines, there was an abundance of it. Though I do see that in "Is anyone there" and "Am I here", ellipses work because they seem to echo around; in other lines, however, they aren't as effective. My word isn't law, though, and just decide what's most effective for your poem

I also think that it doesn't flow smoothly from line to line. Every line seems to wrap up a rather complete thought (and so frequently ends with an exclamation mark, period, or ellipse), and I believe it can be improved if the imagery and thoughts were seamlessly molded into the lines, each flowing into each other.

I hope my review helped! PM me if you have any questions or comments.

Hello, I'm Sandman.
So This is similar to something that I went through, the depression, the struggle with religion, but I also struggled with sexuality. This describes to a T what it feels like for most people that have a similar struggle I think. I've struggled so long to feel God's presence, but it's like he's just forgotten me altogether or he doesn't even exist. I could feel no end to a path that I'd been on for a very long time and then it ended finally with self-harm. You may not feel like it will ever get better right now, but it will. I know it will. It may sound cliche but I don't care. You'll feel better. You just have to find someone that you can trust, or maybe even a counselor. It helps more than you realize to talk about your feelings and everything. I wish you the best of luck. Love the poem. I found nothing really wrong with it. I can't wait to read the rest of this. I wish you the best in this journey to tell the story of you.