Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So this one was a pretty funny little short that you've got here. Its certainly got some really fun elements to it and I like how silly it is in some points which again adds pretty well to the overall humor of the whole thing.
Anyway let's get right to it,
My second official day of being grounded for life (and yes, I am counting). No phone, no TV, no fun. I think that’s all parents ever do; take away our fun.
That is pretty extreme statement to start things on but it is definitely right on par with usual teenage feeling so points for an accurate depiction there.
Wednesday laying in my bed after school
My life is so boring. What the heck are you supposed to do when you’re grounded? It’s not like I’m going to clean or work or something like that...
Five Minutes Later
Painted my toenails, not that you’ll ever get to see them when I wear my knee-high boots...
Interesting description that you chose there but it does showcase some things about here character so that's a good thing.
Pushed Anni up the stairs again. Laughed. I am such a terribly great friend... Teach her to wear green and black into my house. Without me, she’d get nowhere, especially up the stairs.
Anni sat on my bed reading a Rolling Stones Magazine while I messed with my hair.
Well that is a very interesting description that you had the protagonist give herself. It is definitely lending itself well to really showing off what kind of character she is so at least that is definitely a plus point here.
“Well... It’s the truth. That’s what we are going to do!”
“Yeah, but you’re supposed to give it a really cool name like... Operation Ugly Girls.”
“Ugly girls?”
“ Well, yeah! Preps are so freaking ugly!”
Honestly neither of those titles sound all that cool but I guess that's just my opinion.
Probably has to be the craziest thing I have done to date. Outside of when I ended up getting grounded for life. That was definently crazier. I wore a blue and white striped skirt, white heels, and a little black tank top to school today. I pulled my long black hair back into a ponytail and wore brown eyeliner. Anni made me take off the black lipstick as soon as I got to school. I almost cried.
Well it certainly is a pretty good description that you have here. Its very easy to picture what went on there/
I am re-grounded because my mother says she never wants to see me dressed like a “Prostitute” again. Life is not my friend.
Well that was kind of a predictable ending that's for sure but it is a pretty fun little short that you have here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall it was a fun little story to read and I think you've got some great descriptions sprinkled in there along with some fairly realistic sounding dialogue and thoughts for the age of the characters you are bringing to life. Good Job!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 253788
Reviews: 4099
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