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hunter-gatherer

by mothbroth


i think of myself as more
graveyard than anything else,
self-centered, something
ugly that i never wanted for myself.

(i was more woman than human.
i learned this at 11 years old.)

i can't possibly describe myself
in words other people could understand.
i told my mother i was a rabid creature,
she said i was more of
a house cat.

(i did everything to escapeĀ 
nuclear families. i'd rather be rabid.)

in the scheme of things,
she might've been right about that.
we are all animals. therefore,
i am too. therefore,
i am hungry. therefore,
i am lazy. therefore,
i am alive.

(the list goes on & on.
i am self-awareness personified.)

we are animals;
therefore,
we are not saved.
i am more of a monster
than i am a man.


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Sat Sep 17, 2022 6:13 pm
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lliyah says...



Love the methodical structure and progression of thoughts in this poem. <3




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Sat Sep 17, 2022 5:25 pm
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Grimmwolf wrote a review...



chi! I need to get into reviewing again one of these days ^^

I'd like to mention first that a hunter-gatherer is not really a hunter! They're more of a forager, so hunting is only when it's needed. I like the way the title pairs with the poem's theme, but it might not mean exactly what you want it to!

i think of myself as more
graveyard than anything else,
self-centered, something
ugly that i never wanted for myself.


I love the way you open your poetry! Especially lately, your style has been changing so much. I'm happy to see you writing more! There's something this opening line makes me feel that I can't describe. Humans being compared to graveyards speaks a lot on human nature in general, but also on insecurity itself. It's neat! :D "Self-centered" is also a very unique way to express how the narrator views themselves as well, but thinking about it more, I see where it comes from! Death can be seen as selfish, selfish = self-centered.

(i was more woman than human.
i learned this at 11 years old.)


This! You capture identity so well in these two lines. The simple yet straightforward way the narrator goes over this realization cuts deep to me. It's too straightforward to me, but at the same time, I think it's just right. Extremely powerful! ^^

i told my mother i was a rabid creature,
she said i was more of
a house cat.


I love this part just as much as the rest of the poem, but I wish there was more buildup. The connection of womanhood to animals is the thing that drew me into the poem itself, but I wish there was more focus on the actual womanhood part! I get that this is about your experience being trans though, so if it's too much, I get that completely! <3

I also just connected why you brought up your mom! Mothers are important figures to young girls growing up. In this stanza, it's almost like her answer is negative and going against the narrator's own thoughts. "House cats" don't bring up a masculine image in my head, but "rabid creatures" definitely do. It's neat if you did that on purpose! Like to represent transitioning and probably unaccepting family members.

therefore,
i am too. therefore,
i am hungry. therefore,
i am lazy. therefore,
i am alive.


I love the repetition here! It really solidifies the main idea of this stanza, and it makes me compare myself to the narrator in a way. Those are all very human things to do, but the narrator doesn't see it quite the same. It goes back to what I said about human nature in the first stanza! The last line strikes me as acceptance though, which I wouldn't really expect from the very upset tone. But I like how it progresses!

we are animals;
therefore,
we are not saved.
i am more of a monster
than i am a man.


This also makes me think of acceptance! Just maybe not the common kind. It's still angry, but it feels like the narrator is coming to terms with everything in their life. They've transitioned, they've maybe cut off family members who are not good for them, and they feel better. I wouldn't say good, but better than before. I like it! :D

So there you go! This is one of the best from you! <3

Grimm ^^




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Thu Sep 15, 2022 10:39 pm
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fleuralplants says...



this is not a full-fledged review but this is SO PERFECT. i love this SO MUCH. I love the parentheses you put in the poem- it made the structure very interesting.
this is Probably my favorite poem i've ever read on this site. thank you for sharing!!





we went from advice to meth real quick
— ShadowVyper