Hello, Spatula.
Your title and description drew me in. Your ideas are keeping me here. I'd really like to see this poem worked further, and here are aspects I think you might like taking a look at.
First, my favorite part of the piece is "we are all animals... therefore, i am hungry. therefore, i am lazy. therefore, i am alive". These things we might sometimes view as negative (lazy, hungry) are really just instincts, and you make it clear with this simple description, but we all know that we can't just let that be our excuse, so we are still struggling, and that line really makes us FEEL that struggle.
However, during this poem, I'm sensing that there are really several directions available and you never really commit to one. The graveyard person and being more of a woman than a human seems like one poem, while thinking of yourself as rabid and escaping a nuclear family is another, while being animal and man is a third theme.
It's fine to have multiple themes in a poem, of course, but these ideas don't seem to be sewn together well enough for me to believe that. How does graveyard lead to housecat? How does rabid become the opposite of family? How does being lazy or hungry mean we are not saved/monsters?
If you could dive deeper into the connections between these ideas, I think you could have a great long poem about self-awareness, but you could probably also have fun taking each piece I mentioned earlier and making three different poems.
I look forward to reading more from you! If you have any questions/comments about my review, please feel free to message me or reply here.
Hannah
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