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comparing life to failed romance

by mothbroth


i started writing this poem with the theme
"all my lovers say they're not enough for me"
but i don't think love works that way. i don't think
i remember how to write poetry.
i've got nothing to say, but somehow
everything ends up writing itself.

and maybe that's fitting.
you don't pick who you fall for, you just
let it happen. i'm not sure though.
this is all based on how i imagine it happens
through other people's eyes; i don't think
i can remember a time i was in love.

it kind of makes me feel broken
in the same way it's been a lifetime since
i've written anything i feel good about.
i imagine a lifetime is enough time
for me to settle down, or learn how to
find my voice again. turns out,
i won't be able to tell until
it's too late for anything to change.

at least it isn't just me. i think
i'm a lot like my brother was when
he was my age. he died before he got there.
he never got married, maybe he never
fell in love. that's stupid to write about though;
it doesn't capture interest like "real" romance
does, but who knows? maybe
it's something poetic.

i shouldn't compare myself to ghosts,
but maybe i can learn a few things from them. 


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Thu Jul 07, 2022 11:02 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



This is how I see the poem:Someone is really thinking about love and what it actually is.Romantic love.Is it all secrets shared? Being kind to each other no matter what? Is it telling something funny to your sad partner? They decide they haven’t felt true love yet.How can you know you love someone? Would you still love them even if they looked different? I hope that you have a Vecna-Free day fellow Stranger Things fan.




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Thu Jul 07, 2022 6:09 pm
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Seirre wrote a review...



Heyo, I'm back for the aforementioned review!!

Interpretation
My first instinct is to interpret this poem as being about someone who is aromantic, and how they feel broken in a world where everyone around them is falling in love. There's a bit of breaking-the-fourth-wall in some of the stanzas, too, so it seems like within the poem itself this person is using writing as a way to process their confusion around whether they've actually been in love and whether any of their relationships have been "real".

"all my lovers say they're not enough for me"

Using the aromantic interpretation - the lovers who have all said this to the narrator have recognized, somehow, that the narrator isn't really in love with them in the traditional sense, and so they assumed that they are simply not enough for the narrator. (when in reality, perhaps, the narrator simply doesn't experience that kind of attraction.)

but i don't think love works that way.

Then here, the narrator acknowledges that if all their partners have noticed and voiced this thought, then perhaps it isn't because they simply haven't found the right person; instead, it's because love doesn't work that way for them. This is expanded on more later, when they talk about not remembering a time they've been in love.

Another possible interpretation is simply that this person in the poem feels that their previous relationships have all been too superficial, and that they haven't ever been in love with their previous partners; and are hoping that maybe their next partner will be different. So very similar, just minus the aro element.

Style
So I voiced this in my comment briefly, as well - but I feel like you've taken on a noticeably different tone and style of diction for this poem, and I'm kind of loving it! (Disclaimer that I also love your other style, it's just super cool to see you trying out different poetic voices.)

If I had to sum up the difference, I think it's the result of a couple main changes:
* the language used feels less abstract & more grounded
* there's a lot less imagery, and the imagery you do use is a lot more literal
* the tone comes across as a bit more positive; I read it as acceptance, where as a lot of your other poems have more bitter/angry vibes

None of these are inherently good or bad changes! I find it interesting to figure out what they are, though, and I figured you might find it interesting/useful as well. ^-^

i shouldn't compare myself to ghosts,
but maybe i can learn a few things from them.

I did enjoy this reference to your love for poetic ghosts! Again, though, it feels a bit more concrete than how you usually use them in your poetry, since here it's implied that you're referring to a particular ghost that has already been talked about in the poem. <3

Overall - I really enjoyed this poem. It feels so down-to-earth and real, and as someone who's been struggling to differentiate between the different types of attraction recently, it's inexplicably comforting to read a poem about this. I honestly am having trouble coming up with constructive criticism? So I'm going to end this review here, but if you would like some actual critiques let me know and I'll take another stab at it ^-^

Sincerely yours,
beetle




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Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:45 pm
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shatteredstones says...



Remind me to review this




mothbroth says...


will do



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Wed Jul 06, 2022 2:49 pm
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Seirre says...



There's a good chance I'll come back to review this, but in the meantime I just have to say that I love the style of this poem so so much. It feels different than a lot of your poetry - more simplistic and direct, maybe? - and it's really hitting in me feels right now. Like I'm just listening to someone share their raw, deep thoughts about existing, and it's very comforting. :)





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