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Charming Dragons, Middle-Aged Knights and a Fabled Stash of Gold

by manilla


A random little flash fiction piece I wrote with the prompt: "Where someone is trying to hide something."

--

He opens the latch door and watches the gold spill out of the secret room, in large, vast amounts like a shining sea.

“Okay, seriously?” he groans, wiping a nonexistent bead of sweat off his forehead. This is so cliché. The knight’s sword drops noisily to the ground. Forget gold. Forget double-winged dragons who breathe ice instead of fire.

The dragon soon tumbles out of the room, sliding on gold coins and adorned with gold dollar sign chain necklace. It lets out a puff of frost. “What?”

It’s surprisingly small, only three-quarters of his height, and its blue scales are dull from lack of fresh air, spending its time locked away in a hidden room inside of a palace older than his father’s father’s father’s father’s father’s father’s father. (To be precise, a couple of centuries ago.)

The knight takes a deep breath before exhaling. “Can I just kill you to get over with this?”

Frowning, the dragon scrambles off the pile of gold. More and more coins clink. The knight suppresses an unfathomable urge to steal some for himself.

“The valor, the glory, the gore!” the dragon cries, flapping its four wings and lifting itself above the ground unceremoniously. “What happened to all of that?”

The knight picks up his sword, not moving his gaze once from the dragon. His knuckles grow white clenching the hilt. “Gone. Deceased. Flew away. Now, can you help me pack up this gold so I can leave?”

“No!”

The dragon sounds truly anguished this time, the way its jaw is agape and the whites of its eyes are exposed like a vulnerability. Its claws snatch at a jeweled chalice.

“I’m forty-nine years old, do you expect me to have the back muscles to kill you?” the knight grumbles, rolling his eyes. “This isn’t some low-budget movie. Just give me the gold and I can leave.”

“Well, I’m three hundred and seventy-six, and I stole this gold rightfully.” Ice starts to form on the ground the dragon hovers above. The knight wants to pretend that it doesn’t exist, but takes a step back nonetheless before the tip of is boot is covered.

“Which means you are still a juvenile.” (The dragon groans at this.) “Now please, Sir Dragon, can I just bring something back to report to the princess?”

The dragon’s toothy smile perks up a bit and it crashes to the ground noisily, sending gold pieces flying in all separate directions. The knight picks up a pendant at his boots and blanches as the dragon shrieks.

“Take me!”

“Not over my dead body!”

“Why not!?”

“The princess will have the both of us killed!”

“Then why don’t we both stay here?”

“I’ll starve!”

“I have food!”

“It’s probably rotten!”

“Don’t insult my cooking!”

“How in three worlds can you cook?!”

The dragon lets out a lofty sigh more superior than the knight’s. “Hear me.”

Blinking, the knight blinks. A tense silence fills the empty room in the castle, and the old rotting floorboards start to creak as the knight adjusts his stance.

“It’s either me or me and the gold.”

“NO!”


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Sun Jan 13, 2019 1:43 am
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ShadowVyper wrote a review...



Hey manilla,

I saw you post this on your wall so I figured I'd come see what it's about and leave a review while I'm at it :)

Forget double-winged dragons who breathe ice instead of fire.


Ooh, that's an interesting twist! I quite like this (and if this were a novel chapter rather than a flash fiction I would definitely be complaining for some more details -- but I get that flash fiction isn't supposed to be super in-depth so I suppose I'll just have to do with this).

“Not over my dead body!”


I think you don't need to include the "not" in this sentence. I'm not sure if it technically qualifies as a double-negative or not, but it does sort of make the sentence read funny. The "Over my dead body!" is kind of supposed to be a sarcastic expression as in like "I'll die before I do that" sort of thing -- where the not makes it seem like oh okay well I guess that's okay then, no need to do anything drastic like leave my dead body lol. Dunno if that makes any sense at all but gist of my rambling is that you don't need the "not" here.

Blinking, the knight blinks.


*blinks* I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to be saying? Aside from the fact that he's blinking a lot???

“It’s either me or me and the gold.”


I also don't fully understand this sentence. /What/ is either me or me and the gold. What the dragon is going to allow him to take back? I just... don't understand...

~ ~ ~

Overall, I really liked this!

Obviously you didn't have a lot of room to go super deep into characterization or plot (i.e. why in the world the reluctant knight was there in the first place) but I really liked the snark from both of them.

And I really like how you took such a classic fantasy trope and flipped it on its head. Instead of the valliant, over-eager knight we have a grouchy old man who Is Not Feeling it. And a tiny ice breathing dragon rather than a giant fire breathing dragon. And I just love all of it. It's such a unique spin on things and it was really fun to read it, since I wasn't sure what you were going to do next.

Great job! Keep writing!

~Shady 8)




manilla says...


Thanks or the rest review! The choice the dragon was presenting was that the gold wouldn%u2019t go with the knights at all...saying the gold moved.



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Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:05 pm
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FireSpyGirl wrote a review...



Hi there!
This is definitely humorous, and I needed a laugh. Thank you so much! I love how you made a good plot and you wrote it out really well to. This won't be much of a review, because I saw nothing wrong. I have to say, my favorite part is the conversation between the knight and the dragon.

"“Take me!”

“Not over my dead body!”

“Why not!?”

“The princess will have the both of us killed!”

“Then why don’t we both stay here?”

“I’ll starve!”

“I have food!”“It’s probably rotten!”

“Don’t insult my cooking!”“How in three worlds can you cook?!”

That whole conversation awesome! I also love the definite ending you put on this. Keep up the great work! :)




manilla says...


Thanks for the review!




Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!
— Gretchen Wieners