THUD!
I fell on the ground absolutely exhausted, panting. Limonel had abruptly decided that I needed training to prepare myself for our quest. As a result, she had me doing push ups and jumping jacks and squats and punches and crunches and kicks and jumps and climbing trees and weird soldier exercises.
She was juicing me. And I hated it.
“Nutmeg!”, Limonel cursed, “Get up Shroom! Stop being a child! We have several more rounds to go! Asperal and Spig haven’t given up!”
“I – huff – am – haaa – not a – haaaa – child.” I protested, but my words had no heat behind them. I was completely juiced out, and I couldn’t give a fig about Asperal and Spig, those two were trained! In an academy! For soldiers!
“Humph! Weakling! You’ll never survive this quest! Children aren’t meant to face dragons untrained!” Limonel harrumphed.
I sucked in a great breath of air, “Yeah, why did your King get me then?”
“Because adults don’t fit through the Rabbit Hole.”
I blinked up at the four from my position on the ground. “What?”
Spig sighed dramatically, “Adult Hoomans are too big to fit through the Rabbit Hole to our Kingdom, so we get children instead.”
“They’re also murderers.” Asperal added. Everybody nodded.
I blinked again. “They are?”
Stripy man nodded vigorously, “Yes that are, all they do is murder our kind that live in your world. Just because they can’t talk and defend themselves doesn’t mean that they want to be eaten you know. Children are better, they don’t eat vegetables at all.”
Well, it was nice to know I was always right about vegetables, maybe next time I tell my parents that I don’t want to vegetables because it’ll hurt their feelings, they’ll listen to me. All that talk about food made my stomach realise that I hadn’t eaten anything since dinner the night I got man-napped by the asparagus.
My stomach growled. Loudly. “I’m hungry.” I announced. Spig raised his eyebrows, Limonel frowned, “We still have several –“
“NO!” My hunger grew exponentially in those seconds and now I was angry, “I’m not doing anything till I eat something! I’m hungry! I want food!”
They stepped back in surprise, Limonel blinked, “Well get off the ground, I suppose a break won’t hurt.”
I got off the ground, Limonel instructed me to open my giant leaf bag and pull out my food. I’d never looked inside before, but now that I did, I saw that it was full of rolls. I pulled one out. “What’s inside this?”
“Rice and mushrooms.” Limonel replied.
“Y’all made me a mushroom burrito!?”
They paused confused, “What’s a burrito?”
I hesitated, how do you explain a burrito to vegetable people, “It’s – well – it’s a roll with rice in it. But it doesn’t have mushrooms in it.”
“Stop complaining Shroom, eat your food.” Limonel instructed.
I was really hungry, so I started eating it. It was bland. It was really, really, really, bland. Just rice and mushrooms and salt. I was tempted to use my salad dressing and mayonnaise gun on it to try and improve the taste. But I don’t think they would have appreciated it. So, I sat their eating my bland mushroom burrito while my four comrades sat in a half circle eating some green mush and sipping water.
They were discussing some stuff, kinda like old people do, about jobs and traffic and such when I heard Asperal mention something about her pet mushroom having kids. I choked on my mushroom burrito, because that’s when I remembered that in the Vegetable kingdom, mushrooms were pets.
“I’M EATING SOMEONE'S PET!!?!?!?!?!” I shrieked jumping up.
They all jumped too, startling themselves into battle positions, “What!? Where!? Speak Shroom!!”
“Am I eating someone’s pet!?!?!” I wailed. Limonel blinked, “What? No! Don’t be ridiculous! Why would it be someone’s pet?”
I shuffled my feet, suddenly awkward and my dramatic outburst unwarranted, “I thought – mushrooms – pet – so?”
Spig rolled his eyes, “Mushrooms are pets, yes, but only certain kinds, the others are just – plants.”
“Oh, what kinds are pets?”
“The kind that are poisonous to Hoomans.”
I looked down at my half-eaten burrito, I knew they weren’t pets anymore, but I was still slightly traumatised. Asperal noticed this, “You should eat Shroom, you will need your strength in the Fruit kingdom.”
I nodded and sat down again, but I needed a distraction. “So, how did y’all become enemies?”
Limonel looked up sharply, “What do you mean?”
“Well, fruits and vegetables, it makes more sense that you would be friends, not enemies.”
Limonel narrowed her eyes, “Well, it is true that eons ago, our kingdoms were friends.”
“It’s true!?!” Asperal, Spig and Zucc cried in surprise. “Yes it is true. But that, is a long tale.”
I sat up in interest, “Do tell.”
Everybody got comfortable with their green mush and half eaten mushroom burritos and Limonel began, “Once upon a time, many an eon ago, yonder the great river flourished the great ancient kingdom of Vegetabilium fructus, where fruits and vegetables livethed in harmony. They livethed – side-by-side, they went to school side-by-side, they went to work - side-by-side, they celebrated their holidays side-by-side, they went to parties side-by-side. So, all in all, they were all very close. Vegetables and fruits livethed together in the same kingdom and everybody was happy, it was peaceful and everything was great. The two kings, the vegetable king and the fruit king, were also very close. Indeed, the two great rulers had amongst themselves great fraternity and brotherhood, they were as close as siblings.
Alas, one day misfortune struck, and everything went off the rails cilantro crazy. Rumours started to emerge that the fruits were conspiring against the vegetables, rumours had it that there was something very wrong in the royal palaces of Vegetabilium fructus. The two great kings had a great fight. It is said that the Great Vegetable king caught the Fruit king committing treason and plotting to wipe out all the Vegitizens.
This knowledge turned vegetables and fruits against each other. And we fought. We fought in the streets, we fought in the trees, we fought in the ground, we fought long and hard, but no one could score a decisive victory. Hereafter, the fruits found and trained their Fearsome Dragon and our lands have been separated since, locked in an eternal juicy struggle, forevermore.
It is not known what it was exactly that caused this rift between the two kings, but be assured children, it was those low-down, dirty, downtrodden, sons of cinnamons fruits who caused it! And we are going to kill them! And their nutmeg dragon for it!!!” Limonel roared, ending her story on a high note.
Asperal, Spig and Zucc roared loudly as well.
I finished my mushroom-but-not-pet-mushroom burrito.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
mmmmm mushroom burrito...
love the way nutmeg and cilantro are used as curse words XD
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the vile S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Shroom is tired of training, so Limonel lets him eat a mushroom burrito, to which at first he thinks it’s boring, then he’s scared it might be somebody’s pet mushroom, then he calms down, because it’s just a burrito, nobody’s pet. But hey, guess what? Vegetables don’t like it when they are eaten! Adult Hoomans are not wanted in the land of vegetables because they are viewed as murderers! Good thing Shroom is a child and doesn’t eat any vegetables. :>
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think you may have meant to add in “they” after “that” when Zucc is talking about how the vegetables don’t want to be eaten, but if not, then please ignore this.
Chocolate Bar - I love how Shroom panicked when he thought that he had eaten somebody’s pet mushroom, it shows that he really does care about the vegetable people. I also like how Limonel ends the story of how the Fruits and Vegetables became enemies on the Fruits being the “evil ones” and the “responsible ones”. It shows how much she really hates the fruit people and how the fruit people might have a very different story from Limonel’s.
Closing Graham Cracker - Now that Shroom has eaten his mushroom burrito (nobody’s pet, thankfully), he can set out on his journey to defend all of vegetable kind! The nutmeg dragon waits on the other side, ever so fearsome, that it takes only a real warrior to defeat it. Will Shroom be able to kill the nutmeg dragon like how Alice killed the Jabberwocky or is it just something he cannot do? The suspense continues!
I wish you a fantastical day/night! ^v^
Thanks for the review!
This story was such a fun and creative ride! I love how you mixed humor, action, and world-building to make the scene come alive. The idea of a Vegetable Kingdom with training, mushroom burritos, and an epic feud with the Fruit Kingdom is hilarious and super imaginative. The main character’s voice is so relatable—it really feels like we’re right there with them, exhausted, confused, and hungry. Plus, the dramatic moments, like discovering mushrooms as pets, had me laughing out loud. The pacing was quick, which kept things exciting, but at times it felt a little rushed, especially when big revelations or funny moments happened. For example, the explanation about why children are chosen to help the Vegetable Kingdom felt like it could use more detail to really sink in. Also, while the humor is great, some jokes might be even stronger if you gave the reader a little more time to process them before moving on. The epic history lesson about the vegetable-fruit feud was awesome, but it might feel more impactful if it were shorter or had a few breaks to show the characters reacting to the tale.
The humor is definitely the star of this piece! Lines like "Y’all made me a mushroom burrito?!" and the dramatic freak-out over eating someone’s pet had me hooked. The personality of each character shines through in their dialogue, especially Limonel’s tough love and the main character’s sarcastic but endearing tone. The world-building is also super creative—the Rabbit Hole, the Vegetable Kingdom, and the conflict with the fruits are all memorable and unique. I also appreciated how you tied the humor to relatable moments, like the main character hating vegetables or being overly dramatic when they’re hungry. This is such a fun and imaginative story, and I’m excited to see where it goes next! I’d love to know more about the Fruit Kingdom and their dragon—what makes them so fearsome? And will the main character’s training ever pay off? Keep leaning into the humor and creativity, but don’t be afraid to slow down in parts to let those funny or emotional moments hit even harder. Great job overall—I can’t wait to read more!
Thank you so much for the review!! It was very helpful!