The trees do sing, he told me.
I didn't believe him but, I listened.
The wind flowed through the trees,
And it hummed a soft tune.
Then all the birds followed with small chirps.
The light of the sun beamed through the leaves,
As sweet creatures came out to share their song.
Foxes, bears, insects of all kinds.
Every moment was an orchestra, filled with calls and whistles.
A moment of silence would be frightening,
But a gust of wind would start the song once more.
I turned to him and said,
The forest sings. He smiled.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
hopefully, I changed the things that were confusing. Thanks so much for your reviews! It really helps to have lots of awesome feedback.
I really like it, very good poem, love to see more of you!
Thank you!!
I see you're fairly new here, so welcome to the YWS!
I hope you enjoy your time.
This is a lovely poem. I like the imagery of the wind flowing through the trees, the lights of the sun beaming through the leaves and especially that comparison to an orchestra. You've captured that simple yet still so profound nature of the forest. And ah yes, that ending line was my favorite. All of the forest sings!
It's a shorter poem, and I think you could give us some more descriptions of the forest, maybe tell us about the "sweet creatures". But, of course, it's perfectly fine if you don't, because this poem is beautiful as it stands.
I'm not sure if you intended for "lights" or just "light". I've never heard it this way before, and always considered the sun to have one light.
You were pretty consistent with your grammar, so I thought I'd point this out: the comma should be a period.
I'm happy to see you've shared this work of yours with us. It was pretty, and I loved it.
Keep up the writing!
~rosette
Wow! Thank you so much! When I was thinking about light through the leaves I imagined multiple rays, but after reading your review I think that using "light" sounds better. I will change the comma. Thank you for your review!
You're welcome
Hi there!
This reminds me of the kinds of poems I wrote when I started writing poetry - I wrote a lot about nature. I don't write as much poetry now, but I have a couple thoughts on this for you today.
I like the near-repetition of the first and last lines.
I'm a little confused by this line.
While the song of the forest is lovely, why would the silence be frightening? What made all the creatures suddenly fall silent?
I'd also like to know some of the specific creatures. You start off nicely with birds chirping, but then the poem gets really vague, talking about "creatures" and "animals." Are we hearing frogs? Crickets? Chipmunks? Squirrels? What kinds of noises are they making? You don't need to include all of these things, but more detail would make this a stronger poem.
Okay! Thanks so much for your review. I'll add more detail to the part you talked about. Thank you!!