the use or disuse of grammar are my personal style for poetry c:
the petals on my rose are falling off,
while the color has already leaked away
and i can still trace where the bursts
of floral pink resided,
to then the furthermost tips that
it can barely be seen,
for the shell color has faded for that of an
egg-white that captivates me even now
with the bud receding and the folds unraveling,
since the promise for more remains.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Hey there!
It's really a lovely poem that you have written here. The imagery is excellent. Each of your lines convey such strong feelings when read carefully. I could really imagine a rose in my mind with the exact details that you were giving. Amazing work while describing the little details about it's fading colors .
You chose your words very wisely that created a good impact.
This ending line gives a great closure to the poem by offering hope and encouragement. Flowers grow, blossom, wilt, and die. Their beauty is only temporary, they eventually disappear and are replaced with new ones.
I liked the structure of the poem. It was nice that you just used minimum punctuation and ended with full stop in the very last sentence. It helped to maintain the flow while reading and made it look like a train of thoughts.
Your writing style is truly unique and I loved it.
Keep writing! <3
Hi fraey,
I love this poem. It has beautiful and vivid descriptions. I can clearly picture this rose in my mind. I really like how you wrote about it when it was dying instead of when it was in its best condition because I feel like it gives a less common view of roses. Additionally, I love how you ended it by saying, "since the promise for more remains" to show how just because something might not look like much, it still can have great potential or something special to it. I also really like how you use very captivating and not cliche words to describe the rose. I really don't have any criticism so great job! I look forward to reading more of your pieces. Good luck!