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the burden of reflecting

by milkweed


i understand what you say without words.
with my head in your lap, i inhale your perfume
and it rots the flesh around my ribs.

i infer that your new favourite colour
is strawberry blonde because of the way your fingers
wade through my curls. it takes me back to a time
and place i'm no longer sure i ever existed in;
those nights heavier than my spine could bear,
swaying under bathroom lights.

sometimes i find myself craving your closeness,
wanting to be the crust on your gums.
this distance is the worst taste to have in the back
of your throat. you linger on my walls like black mold,
the decay in between my linoleum tiles.
i cling to your sharp edges.

i am a house made of everything
you have ever loved.
you will never have me in a way that matters;
it hurts more than anything in my entire life.


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76 Reviews

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Sun Sep 29, 2024 5:02 pm
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candyhearts wrote a review...



Hai :3

This is so old, but it caught my eye!! I figure I could give you my own interpretations in case you'd ever want to revise it. I have so many thoughts!!

The visceral imagery here is perfect!! There is such an intimate and haunting vibe all throughout the poem!! It sets this almost unspoken tension, like there’s so much beneath the surface that’s never directly acknowledged, and then you follow it up with that powerful contrast between the softness and decay. There are so many brutal yet beautiful metaphors ~~ Like, this connection is comforting but also destructive, and you can feel that push and pull from the first lines!!

sometimes i find myself craving your closeness,
wanting to be the crust on your gums.


!!! I am obsessed with this!!

It’s so unsettling but in a perfect way. There’s something raw and almost grotesque about it, which fits this obsession with closeness, like even the parts we don’t normally talk about (crust on gums?). It's like you want to be that close, but it’s also so tragic. You’re capturing this desperate need for connection, but it’s also kind of toxic, and I’m living for it!! Then, that creeping rot metaphor that keeps coming up is just so satisfying ~~ It lingers, just like this person does in your life!!

^^^ As much as I adore this line for its raw, grotesque brilliance, it might throw some people off a bit because it’s so unexpected!! I think you could lean into that shock value, or maybe tie it more directly to the themes of decay you’ve got going on. It works in the sense of craving closeness, but I wonder if you could bring it in earlier!! It's so random right now, you know? There’s a beautiful ambiguity to this poem, but I want some solid connections!! I don't see where it comes in.

you will never have me in a way that matters;
it hurts more than anything in my entire life.


Love, love, love !!!

This line absolutely floored me!! Like, the idea of being built out of someone else’s memories and loves is so achingly painful. This whole stanza has me in a vice!! That’s just heart-wrenching, because it’s like you’re recognizing that despite this intense connection, it’s never enough. It's brimming with intensity and yearning, but also a deep sadness that’s so palpable!! It's so bittersweet!! The honesty, the ache, and the general spite throughout are so real to me. It's sososo relatable!!

I think the house metaphor is absolutely stunning, but I almost want it earlier in the poem, or for you to tease at it before dropping it in the end!! It’s such a powerful idea ~~ Like, being made of everything they’ve loved!! I think you could build up to it a little more to amplify that punch at the end. With everything you've been through, where else could it come up? Keeping things vague does add to the universal feeling of longing, but more could help this!! Houses are so poetic, right?

Honestly, this whole poem just oozes with pain and longing, and it’s so beautifully crafted!! Your imagery is so vivid and visceral. I can feel the decay, the heaviness, the sharpness. It’s all so layered, and it really hit me!! Truly amazing work!! ^_^

- Payton




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Wed Aug 28, 2024 10:37 pm
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theromanticchemist wrote a review...



Hi, coming in with a review!
This poem is so profound. I almost feel like it describes a borderline toxic relationship, but that's my personal take. The way you describe wanting to be closer, closer, it's just so realistic. It takes me inside the mind of the narrator. The imagery is also just perfect. It paints an image in my mind.
The voice of the piece feels like someone's inner thoughts, it's melancholic, it's dramatic, it's gripping. A way I would describe it is nails digging into a wrist, almost.
"i infer that your new favourite colour
is strawberry blonde because of the way your fingers
wade through my curls."
This line really stuck with me. It shows that the obsession isn't one sided, the other person is obviously just as obsessed and it may be bad for them too.
The final stanza and how it shows the overarching thought just seals it all together. How this person will never be close enough to their partner. There will always be a space, and the thought of that is tragic.
Overall, this is a phenomenal poem. I love the way you depict this couple, the connotation seems almost dreading. Said in any other way, this would be a sweet love poem, but you have turned it into something deeper. Bravo and I can't want to see more of your work!




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Wed Aug 28, 2024 5:38 am
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Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I will apologize that this might be a touch short. With that being said I still hope my thoughts could brighten your day all the same. I think that's enough of a boring preface. Let's get into it, shall we?

Overall I loved this piece. The voice you used in this piece is perfect to the point I couldn't imagine it being any other style. It melds into this almost melancholic nostalgia that ozes from each word. Despite this there is still a sense of warmth like a undercurrent hidden beneath dark waves. you did a great job and that's just one aspect of this piece.

Furthermore, the imagery is truly impeccable. Not only do we get enough details to make the people real but there so vivid. I could picture the sickly sweet perfume and a couple cuddled close during a late evening in.

something I find interesting is that these images are both very intimate and borderline obsessive. It's not just wanting to be with someone it's wanting to be in their skin. This adds to the themes of wanting and hurt since sometimes you wish you could be in someone else's skin. To be both needed and understood as you are with yourself.

Now normally here is where I would add some feedback. However, I couldn't find anything to comment on here. Instead, I think I will wrap up my thoughts and bid you adieu.

This was a beautifully done poem that will give me plenty to chew on for a few hours. you did an amazing job I hope you know that! As always keep writing and drink water!




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Wed Aug 28, 2024 12:39 am
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alyfr says...



This was soooo amazing, I wish I could write poetry as beautifully as you do. The imagery was perfect too!! <3





“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson