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Sleepless Side Scene 2 (ft. Ruri + Shou, Chihaya + Kanata)

by dahlia58


A chocolate canele was sitting on the table, which Shou and Ruri were eyeing silently.

They glanced at each other.

"Didn't you eat lunch already, Shou?"

"Yeah, but I'm still hungry…"

"I'm hungry too…"

"..."

Neither child felt like giving in. But all the same, they didn't want to take their friend's snack. This was a problem.

"You know what?" Ruri held up her hand. "Rock-paper-scissors."

"Yep." Shou nodded.

The two of them made fists.

"Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot-"

They both threw "scissors."

"One more time. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot-"

This time, they both threw "rock."

"Last try. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot-"

They both threw "rock" again.

"What the heck?"

"One more time…?"

They played a fourth round. Two "papers," another tie.

"Oi, is this game jinxed or something..?" Now Ruri was a little scared.

"So...Who's getting the cupcake?" Shou murmured.

"...Let's just split it?"

"Good idea."

In the end, they decided to share nicely like good friends should.

Meanwhile, upstairs-

"Draw your sword, man! Before I run you through!"

"Oh, is that how we're gonna settle this? C'mon, then! Bring it!"

"Foolish scoundrel!"

Kanata and Chihaya were dueling fiercely. Over a plate of strawberry dorayaki. 

Another peaceful day for everyone, indeed.


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352 Reviews


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Sun Jan 26, 2020 2:00 am
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Liberty wrote a review...



Hey dahlia!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight! Here to drop off a review~ I really enjoyed the first bit of Sleepless, so I decided why not take a look at this? And so here I am! Let's start, now, shall we? Right.

I very much like this scene, it's very whimsical, amusing, joyous and light-hearted. I can completely relate to this, and it obviously seems like something me and my sisters would be doing. Eh-ehem, not what Shou and Ruri where doing, but instead what Kanata and Chihaya were doing. xP

There's one thing I'd like to say about this, though, before I wrap up my review: when you're writing, it's best to add as much details as possible. I get that this is a short story, and is meant to be light, but details is something I obsess over, so if you feel like ignoring this, feel free to do so!

Or... I mean, you could just switch this for a script, and title it that instead. It would be amazing. So amazing!

Anyways, I'm done with my review, I hope this helped! As usual, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me whenever! :D

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty




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Fri Dec 06, 2019 1:08 am
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Necromancer14 wrote a review...



This was great! It was quite funny.

""Oi, is this game jinxed or something..?" Now Ruri was a little scared. So was Shou."

I like this part. It was whimsical and funny. However, "scared" should be followed by a comma if you want to put the word "so" after it. words like "so" and "and" aren't allowed to start sentences.

""Foolish scoundrel!""

I like this part too. It adds to the funny, whimsical air that this story gives you.

All in all, this was a great little comedy. Just make sure you look out for the little grammar things that sneak in. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this, so keep writing! :)




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Fri Nov 08, 2019 8:48 pm
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WinnyWriter says...



Hey, there! This small scene is cute. Good work. Since it's so short, there's not much to say, but I like how you are breaking the characters down into small groups and showing their lives piece by piece. However, I'm a little antsy to get back to the main story. Hope to see another part out soon!





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