Hey there cataliesw, Icy here for a quick RevMo review.
An overarching comment before I get into the review: it's a good idea to have a quick proof read before posting anything copied and pasted onto YWS. For some reason, the site's formatting can be a little quirky and you might find you miss some of the formatting you originally had. In this case, there are a few spaces missing here and there which means some of the meaning is lost in places. A quick read through before posting should help you catch these in future.
I'd also suggest referencing in a different manner to using hyperlinks. Links and references can change, so it's probably better to pick a more conventional method of referencing so you can capture the information as it was when you wrote the piece, rather than risking it changing.
Some of your connecting words might also warrant a rethink. I know how difficult it is when writing an essay not to feel like you're repeating yourself by saying things like 'however', but sometimes the repetition is preferable to losing meaning through using a word that doesn't quite fit. An example of this in the above piece is here:
Besides, monoclonal antibodies that block CTLA-4 or PD-1 are in development for other tumor types, including kidney cancer, prostate cancer, and head and neck cancer.
The besides doesn't really link to the previous sentence, so it makes it harder to understand.
Overall, this piece was quite concise and well written. I hope you achieved what you set out to do with this piece!
Icy

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