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12+ Mature Content

Effaced Days

by boraurkmez


Antonio let out a big sigh. For the first time in the last couple of weeks, he was relaxed. But he was struggling to breathe. “Don’t worry, I don’t need to breathe” he said to Moria.

She was sitting on top of his chest. Moria gave him a little look. He knew what she was trying to say. “I’m sorry for occupying the only couch we have,” Antonio said. He’d been sleeping on that couch for hours, and he wasn’t actually sorry about it. I should’ve slept here earlier, Antonio thought.

While he was talking to himself, Moria kept reading the book she’d found. How is she this nonchalant, Antonio asked himself. He was falling for her. They’d been running away together for a while now, but this was the first time Antonio realised her beauty. To be fair to me, I was just worried about surviving. He was trying to excuse his blindness.

It’d been two weeks after the initial attack. Three groups of friends, gathered around a campfire, talking about their dreams, some drunk, some extremely drunk. In their last moment of peace, they watched dozens of choppers fly past. They had no idea that those choppers were looking for them. None of them would’ve guessed, the research they’ve been doing was about to get them killed.

Antonio fell asleep while thinking about all this. When he woke up, Moria was still sitting on his chest, reading the book. He didn’t want to distract her as she looked so much into it. He smiled. For the first time, she doesn’t look stressed, Antonio thought, and fell back to sleep.

He woke up after a little while. Moria was still there. He was about to smile, but this time, he couldn’t. As soon as Antonio opened his eyes, he saw a couple of tears running down Moria’s cheeks. Without thinking it through, he tried getting up. That caused Moria to, firstly, get scared and secondly, drop down to his lap. “Are you okay?” Antonio asked. She wasn’t. As soon as Moria heard that question, she broke down. They hugged each other. Antonio wanted to cry too, but he decided not to.

They hugged each other for who knows how long. They were both so tired of running. They knew that at some point, they would get caught. When Moria stopped crying, she whispered “Thank you” but Antonio didn’t know what to say. He put a little kiss on her tear-covered cheek. Moria smiled and answered back with a kiss, but she aimed at his lips. With their last ounce of energy, Antonio and Morai explored each other's bodies. After they were done, it didn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

Antonio woke up to a voice saying “We found the last one" and he whispered “We need to get out of here” to Moria, but she wasn’t there. In a moment of confusion, Antonio looked around the little shack, but there were no signs of Moria. He heard them getting closer to the door. He accepted his fate and closed his eyes.

I remember now. How long have I been sleeping here? I wanted to forget, but apparently, I couldn’t. The image is still there. Carrying her body outside. Digging her a grave with my hands. Did that really happen? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just glad that we managed to enjoy ourselves for one last time. Did that really happen? It did. It did. They got into the shack. Goodbye, inner voice. I hope the afterlife exists.


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Sun Jun 16, 2024 3:33 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

Well this was an incredibly powerful little piece here. Really putting together some incredible moments there for the two of them to build up how much they mean to each other and how much they must've been through only for that ending to just come crashing down on it all.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Antonio let out a big sigh. For the first time in the last couple of weeks, he was relaxed. But he was struggling to breathe. “Don’t worry, I don’t need to breathe” he said to Moria.

She was sitting on top of his chest. Moria gave him a little look. He knew what she was trying to say. “I’m sorry for occupying the only couch we have,” Antonio said. He’d been sleeping on that couch for hours, and he wasn’t actually sorry about it. I should’ve slept here earlier, Antonio thought.


Well this is quite the opening here. A little bit of a fake apology going out for sleeping on the couch while secretly it looks like he's loving being on the couch. Immediately an interesting little note there that makes us realize these two have a pretty strong relationship and quite an intimate one at that.

While he was talking to himself, Moria kept reading the book she’d found. How is she this nonchalant, Antonio asked himself. He was falling for her. They’d been running away together for a while now, but this was the first time Antonio realised her beauty. To be fair to me, I was just worried about surviving. He was trying to excuse his blindness.

It’d been two weeks after the initial attack. Three groups of friends, gathered around a campfire, talking about their dreams, some drunk, some extremely drunk. In their last moment of peace, they watched dozens of choppers fly past. They had no idea that those choppers were looking for them. None of them would’ve guessed, the research they’ve been doing was about to get them killed.


Oooh well this is a fun little complication, realizing they are in fact just friends it would seem but Antonio seeing more and more of her is falling deeper and deeper while it appears they are on the run from something that judging by the little description there is incredibly serious.

Antonio fell asleep while thinking about all this. When he woke up, Moria was still sitting on his chest, reading the book. He didn’t want to distract her as she looked so much into it. He smiled. For the first time, she doesn’t look stressed, Antonio thought, and fell back to sleep.

He woke up after a little while. Moria was still there. He was about to smile, but this time, he couldn’t. As soon as Antonio opened his eyes, he saw a couple of tears running down Moria’s cheeks. Without thinking it through, he tried getting up. That caused Moria to, firstly, get scared and secondly, drop down to his lap. “Are you okay?” Antonio asked. She wasn’t. As soon as Moria heard that question, she broke down. They hugged each other. Antonio wanted to cry too, but he decided not to.


Well this is interesting. Quite the little rollercoaster. Antonio smiling on being able to see Moria free of stress for the first time in what looks to be a while and being enamored by it is incredibly cute and then just the pan to a sad Moria crying with no reason we can identify yet but I love the little hug, showing they take comfort and strength from each other. Its a beautiful moment.

They hugged each other for who knows how long. They were both so tired of running. They knew that at some point, they would get caught. When Moria stopped crying, she whispered “Thank you” but Antonio didn’t know what to say. He put a little kiss on her tear-covered cheek. Moria smiled and answered back with a kiss, but she aimed at his lips. With their last ounce of energy, Antonio and Morai explored each other's bodies. After they were done, it didn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

Antonio woke up to a voice saying “We found the last one" and he whispered “We need to get out of here” to Moria, but she wasn’t there. In a moment of confusion, Antonio looked around the little shack, but there were no signs of Moria. He heard them getting closer to the door. He accepted his fate and closed his eyes.


Oooh looks like that was the final little straw there and the two of them just came to an understanding there in a moment of passion as they finally realize how much the other means to them and how important they are to each other in this world which appears to be in a very rough state for them.

[qoute]I remember now. How long have I been sleeping here? I wanted to forget, but apparently, I couldn’t. The image is still there. Carrying her body outside. Digging her a grave with my hands. Did that really happen? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just glad that we managed to enjoy ourselves for one last time. Did that really happen? It did. It did. They got into the shack. Goodbye, inner voice. I hope the afterlife exists.[/quote]

Well that's one heck of an ending there. Just building up all those beautiful moments there and then just ripping it away in a heartbeat. That's a pretty dangerous ending.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think that's a lovely little tale here. You do a very good really building it all up, and showcasing everything about how they're connected and the happiness they share really making us feel for them well before that ending ensuring that it hits hard despite the fact that this is such a short piece.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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boraurkmez says...


Hi Kate, thanks a lot for the review. I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it. Stay safe and have a nice day!



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Sat Jun 15, 2024 9:29 pm
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Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Hey this is Coffee rearing to deliver a freshly written review!! Let’s dive in, shall we?

To start off, I loved this! I really felt for Moria and Antonio and this really reminded me of a k-drama I watched called ‘Goodbye Earth’. This really felt like an apocalyptic scenario and I was happy with the ending of this story because even though they died, they’re together finally, right? It’s as happy as a story like this can get to be honest. I loved the heart-breaking details too and the fact that he was in denial so much about her death that they temporarily forgot she was dead. It really emphasised the pain of loss that he felt.
In terms of areas to improve, I really felt that there are none apart from the constant desire to know more. I felt it would have been nice to give us some more context as to what was happening as readers but then again, it might have been your intent to keep it as a mystery! If you ever post more about this, I would be excited to read!! The only ‘mistake’ I found was a few minor typos and I would recommend reading your work calmly before posting as this makes the reading experience more exciting. It’s alright though, happens to the best of us. ;)

I loved many lines of this piece but I remembered, in particular:

“ I wanted to forget, but apparently, I couldn’t. The image is still there. “

I felt this line and this one,
“ Goodbye, inner voice. I hope the afterlife exists. “

Hit the most because this shows he was just really tired and craved love and peace. He wanted an end to the endless running and praying death wouldn’t come until he prayed death would come. He didn’t have the best life but it shows that the afterlife would be his haven. It makes us hopeful that maybe that’s where he’ll meet Moria and live the way he deserves. It’s sad but isn’t it just reality without the same circumstances?

Thank you for reading and have a good day/night. I’d better sleep now~




boraurkmez says...


Thank you so much for the review. I hope you had a good night's sleep :)



Coffeewriter says...


No problem, I enjoyed reading this very much! It was definitely a change of pace compared to usual reads! Yes, thank you, I slept like a log!!^^




I am so glad that we can have this middle of the night bonding conversation over deep sinks
— EllieMae