The spacing in between words isn't showing up for me, tell me if it's all mushed together or if it's spaced out so I can try and fix it.
please and thank you! ^-^
In the dungeon of my thoughts I dwell,
A prisoner of my mind's wicked spell,
Trapped within a labyrinth of despair,
Where shadow's dance, and echoes blare.
A silent symphony inside my head,
Whispers doubts, filling me with dread,
A maze of twists and darkness,
Where demons yowl, leaving me sleepless.
Thoughts run wild like raging storms,
Invisible chains holding back my forms,
Lost within the depths of myself,
doors barricaded, denying all help.
In this desolate maze, I wander alone,
Echoes of my past forever to atone,
Bound by fears, I cannot break free,
From the prison bars of my psyche.
Each cell a mirror of my soul's desires,
Fueling the dreams and fires,
But my visions turn to ashes within,
As my mind's fortress buries them in sin.
Behind these heavy iron doors,
Lies a universe of forgotten shores,
A symphony of thoughts unexpressed,
Aching to be freed, longing to be blessed.
Like a wounded bird, my spirit lies,
Trapped beneath the weight of hidden cries,
Yearning for solace, for a brighter day,
Where the shadows recede, and the demons sway.
To forget the past and fly out of these chains.
Oh, to break the fears that bind these wings,
But the key has been lost, buried away,
In this abyss of tears that holds bay.
So I wander through corridors of sorrow,
In this labyrinth that I can't burrow,
Hoping amidst the darkness to find,
A flicker of light, an escape of my mind.
Yet though I may be trapped within my own maze,
I refuse to surrender to the endlessness,
For hope remains a flickering flame,
That one day I shall conquer this shame.
And so I'll fight, with every breath in me,
To break these chains and set my spirit free,
And spread these broken wings.
The spacing in between words isn't showing up for me, tell me if it's all mushed together or if it's spaced out so I can try and fix it.
please and thank you! ^-^
Happy RevMo! Gengar here to leave a review!
General Impression:
This was a very emotional poem! It kinda wanted to make me tear up 
I hope you are doing okay now
What I Liked:
The imagery was very strong! It really invoked a vivid image in my mind of a prisoner locked in their own mind. Great job!
Areas of Improvement:
I feel that the rhyme scheme is broken in some lines:
A maze of twists and darkness,
Where demons lurk, leaving their mark.
Oh, to break the chains that bind my wings,
To unravel the chaos so tightly Intertwined
Aloha Poet!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye an intriguing poem titled “Minds Labyrinth” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Very first of all, your poem uses vivid imagery and metaphors to paint a clear mental picture of the feeling of being trapped within one's own thoughts. The emotional depth in the poem goes deep, "Minds labyrinth" delves into complex emotions of despair, fear and longing. This allows the readers to connect with the narrator's inner turmoil.
You used many symbols in the poem create this picture for the readers, such as the dungeon and the labyrinth. The symbols add depth and layers to the poem's meaning and so do the themes; themes of resilience and hope that are suggesting that despite the darkness, there is a desire to break free.
The rhythm of your poem isn't the same for every stanza, but don't worry, every poem has its very own unique way of rhyming. For me, the way that the poem is structured seems very clear and easy to read.
In a nutshell, your poem shows promise with its imagery and emotional depth. It explores the themes of hope and resilience. I enjoyed reading this poem, therefore I'm glad I stumbled upon it.
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
Yours in Puzzling Shadows,
Rose
Hello! I am here to review this poem using the YWS S'more Method today!
A belated welcome to YWS! By the way, I love your avatar. You will find that YWS is enthusiastic about geese. Unless, of course, that's a duck. Then never mind. And about the spacing - It looks fine to me.
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This poem is about a person who is struggling to navigate their brain, and feels very trapped and chained down, and is having a mental struggle. The poem is written in their perspective of their troubles.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
So I wander through corridors of sorrow,
In this labyrinth that I can't borrow,
doors barricaded, denying all help.
In the dungeon of my thoughts I dwell,
A prisoner of my mind's wicked spell,
Trapped within a labyrinth of despair,
Where shadow's dance, and echoes blare.
A silent symphony inside my head,
Whispers doubts, filling me with dread,
A maze of twists and darkness,
In this desolate maze, I wander alone,
Echoes of my past forever to atone,
Each cell a mirror of my soul's desires,
Fueling the dreams and fires,
But my visions turn to ashes within,
As my mind's fortress buries them in sin.
Behind these heavy iron doors,
Lies a universe of forgotten shores,
A symphony of thoughts unexpressed,
Like a wounded bird, my spirit lies,
Trapped beneath the weight of hidden cries,
Yearning for solace, for a brighter day,
Oh, to break the chains that bind my wings,
So I wander through corridors of sorrow,
Yet though I may be trapped within my own maze,
I refuse to surrender to the endlessness,
For hope remains a flickering flame,
Hey there! First off, "labyrinth" is one of my favorite words! This immediately drew my attention because of that, LOL. I typically review poetry by stanza and will do so for this. In the first stanza, there is a clear dive into the "dungeon" of the mind. I love the rhythm and rhyme scheme. I typically also do an AA/BB rhyming pattern. It was an easy read, evoking a darkness that consumes the mind. In the second stanza, I noticed that the rhyme scheme is not exactly followed, but you do not lose the rhythm or flow of the read. I am really visualizing the maze and being lost in your own thoughts. I can relate to this poem's overall tone and how it is developing. In the third stanza, you continue not following an exact rhyme scheme, with the last two words being near rather than exact rhymes, but again, you still managed to have a rhythm and flow that does not disrupt the read. The visuals are added. I can pull out between the three stanzas very dark and haunting words: dungeon, prisoner, spell, despair, shadows, silent, whispers, dread, twists, darkness, demons, and storms. This really helps me picture a maze full of twists and turns, where you become easily lost and forgotten, along with blackness and negativity. When those images are combined and related to the mind, they evoke a strong emotion I have felt before! The fourth stanza cements a better pattern of rhyme in regards to the first two lines rhyming, but the second two do not. I appreciated the use of alone/atone, as I would not consider those two the typical words people use to rhyme with alone. You furthered the visual of solitude and loneliness in this stanza as well. The next stanza transfixes the dungeon and maze of the mind into specific cells where the chains may lie. Each cell has a purpose and intent, and we return back to the AA/BB rhyme scheme. I am curious to continue reading to see if there is a pattern between stanzas, as in going back and forth between AA/BB and AA/BC. I'll be sure to note as I continue. Stanza six really shows me that there is no rhyme or reason (pun intended LOL) to the rhyming. Sometimes, this may disrupt the rhythm and flow, but it does not slow or hinder the reading despite its lack of predictability. You did well to keep each line at a similar length. Overall, this encompasses a profound image you can picture as you read. It is relatable and well-written, and I enjoyed reading it! Each stanza adds to the overall message and imagery with one focus. It ends well in regards to wishing to be set free and how, despite being lost, we cannot let fear or darkness win. Bravo! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world!
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