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Characters for a Potential Story

by WinnyWriter

*This is the basic information of some of the main characters from a story I am working on*

I'd like to introduce some characters:

#1: Aubriana Lane


- 18 years old, a high school senior

- straight, dark red or auburn hair with one stubborn strand that falls over her forehead; green eyes; no freckles

- height 5'4" 

- Aubriana is fun loving, adventurous, and a bit sarcastic sometimes. She is easy to get along with, and she's well-liked at school because she is a natural encourager and makes people feel comfortable being themselves. She is also imaginative and full of great ideas. She plans to study psychology after she graduates.

- Aubriana's biggest goal is to unite her classmates into a true team before their upcoming senior trip.

#2: Shannyn Giles

- Aubriana's best friend

- 18 years old, a high school senior

- curly, honey blonde hair and deep blue-green eyes; wears glasses; dimple in left cheek when she smiles

- a pretty, bookish introvert; quite analytical

- Shannyn is pretty shy at first, but when she becomes comfortable with people, she can be a lot of fun and even funny. She loves to read, and she writes poetry, some of which is sad. Shannyn is a very steady and loyal person, a deep thinker, and loves the outdoors. She shares Aubriana's interest in psychology and passion for mental health, but her plan is to study music in college.

- Shannyn's biggest goal is to show everyone that they matter and have a purpose, and to inspire them to never give up.

#3: Tyrone Ford

- 18 years old, a high school senior

- African American

- height 6'1"

- good looking; close friends with Aubriana and Shannyn

- Tyrone is a strong and steady young man with a calming presence. He is hard-working, sensible, and gives good advice. Slow to judge, he often looks for the best in people and tries to give everyone a chance. He likes to play basketball and work out, as well as working on cars.

- Tyrone's biggest goal is to establish a good career and create a safe and happy life for his family and friends.

#4: Marissa Shaffer

- high school senior, age 18

- height 5'6"

- medium length dark hair; her clothing is always very put-together and coordinated, and it is classy yet practical in style

- Marissa is the student body president at school. She is a very organized person and highly values order and harmony. She is a good leader. Marissa has a rather soft heart behind her commanding and professional demeanor; especially has a soft spot for cute animals. She plans on getting a business degree from a good university after graduating.

- Marissa's biggest goal is to create and maintain order and harmony in all aspects of life so that everything can smoothly move toward bigger goals.

#5: Brendan Caldwell

- high school senior, 17 years old

- height 5'10"

- light brown hair with a strawberry tint, and a few light freckles

- Brendan is a rich kid, annoying, but somehow popular at school, mostly with the flirty girls. He incessantly teases Aubriana and Shannyn, even more than anybody else. Brendan has a full football scholarship to a prestigious college. He is kind of a snob and definitely acts very entitled. He likes to play a lot of video games and flirt with girls. 

- Brendan is rather self-centered, so his biggest goal is to make life as fun and easy on himself as possible. 

#6: Gabriel Lopez

- high school senior, age 18

- most often goes by Gabe to friends and family

- Hispanic

- height 5'7"

- Gabe is a handsome Hispanic guy who is quiet, thoughtful, and responsible. He works hard to keep up his good grades. He is very observant and in tune with people. He usually can shut Brendan up pretty well. 

- Level-headed and sensible, Gabe has a passion for learning and helping other's succeed in life.

#7: Karina Smirnov

- high school senior, age 18

- wears her light hair in a smooth ponytail

- slender build; height 5'5"

- usually wears sporty or comfy casual clothes

- Karina is of Russian origin and is one of the smartest students at school. Even though she is a top student, she is not a nerd and she does not brag. She is friendly, positive, and easygoing. She is dating Johnathan Crosley from the local college. 

- Karina's biggest goal is to travel and see awesome places while gathering all the experiences she can and helping other people appreciate life more. 

#8: Jacquelyn Walker

- high school senior, age 17

- height 5'3"

- African American

- prefers to be called Jaq

- wears bright colors and bold prints

- Jaq is a plump, friendly girl with a bubbly personality and a big heart. Her clothing always either makes a statement or is minimal effort, high comfort, depending on how she's feeling. There is no in between. Jaq is very close to her single mother and younger sisters. She is a very emotionally expressive person and values close relationships and affection. She is afraid of spiders and of the dark.

- Jaq's biggest goal is to make life beautiful through color, art, and expresssion.

#9: Axel Nakamura

- high school senior, age 18

- Japanese-American

- height 5'8"

- fit, athletic build

- dark hair that flops into his eyes

- Axel is the son of a Japanese father and an American mother. He is very smart; kind of a nerd. He knows a lot of facts and information about a plethora of topics, and sometimes he likes to use fancy language. Naturally, he is a top student. He is talented with anything technology related, and he is a math geek. He is also extremely musically talented, excelling on both the piano and trumpet. He loves classical music and often goes around humming tunes to himself. He writes his own compositions and can compose music in his head.

In spite of the nerd stereotype, Axel is not socially awkward, nor does he wear glasses. He has a slender, athletic build, but has a huge weakness for chocolate cake. He likes to play video games (at least in the beginning of the story). He is also originally friends with Brendan, although Axel is much nicer. He is really good at coming up with unusual insults.

- Axel's biggest goal is to learn, to apply his learning to life, and to share his knowledge with people as much as possible while using his skills to create a successful and meaningful life. 

#10: Alexis Ainsley

- high school senior, age 18

- height 5' 4"

- very pretty; long brown hair with highlights, and brown eyes

- wears stylish, girly clothing

- Alexis is a very materialistic and self-centered person. She is the daughters of parents who are very wealthy and own their own real estate business. Because she has a lot of money, she always wears the latest, most fashionable clothes and expensive perfume and makeup. She is much more concerned with her outer appearance. 

Alexis has traveled a lot with her family and already seen many famous places. She is snobbish and looks down her nose at others. She tries to get the attention of the handsome, popular guys, and many guys have a crush on her. 

Out of her fellow high school seniors, Alexis is pretty much only friendly to Marissa.

- Alexis' biggest goal is to live a life of luxury and self pleasure. She intends to become heavily involved in her family's business after college. 

#11: *There's some debate on this character's name: maybe Tyren....or Leighton... maybe Tanden...or Kyler???* (For all practical purposes, I will give him the name of Tyren for right now.)

- Tyren Young

- high school senior, age 18

- height 5'11

- red hair, dark blue eyes, some freckles

- it is understood that he is fairly attractive, as Aubriana and Shannyn both describe him as cute

- rides a skateboard

- Tyren has a sad life story, having lost his parents in a car accident when he was 15 - a loss for which he feel responsible since he was the one driving. He also lost his younger brother who drowned in an accident at a pool party 6 months later. He is slowly overcoming the grief and trauma, but sometimes still gets under a cloud (at least in the beginning of the story). However, when he is comfortable and at ease, his true personality shows through, and he is known to be easygoing, funny, and a generally charming person. Deep down, he is a loyal, affectionate person, but his defense mechanism is sarcasm. 

Tyren is often misunderstood for his struggles and defense mechanisms, and his insecurities sometimes cause him to become withdrawn. 

- Afraid of loss, Tyren's biggest goal is to somehow make up for his previous losses. He has a passion to save at least one person's life in his lifetime, so at first he recklessly puts himself at risk to do so. Apart from that, what he really wants in life is to protect and grow with the ones he loves most.

#12: Zack Franklin

- high school senior, age 18

- longish blond hair that is usually sort of messy; pale blue eyes

- good-looking

- height 6'0"

- rides a motorcycle

- dresses casually and comfortably

- Zack was a troublemaker at first, and in with the wrong crowd. However, when Aubriana, Shannyn, and Tyrone show a genuine interest in him, he starts to slowly open up to them and share his unsettled past which included a lot of uncertainty and verbal abuse. He slowly begins to reform his ways as he is accepted by better friends.

Zack has an unpredictable personality and (at least in the beginning) a hot temper. He is quick to act, often before he thinks. He can also be rather spontaneous. He is practically fearless, a bit reckless, but he has a heart of gold and would do anything to defend his friends after they show their loyalty to him. He is a good friend, even is he has rough edges. He usually doesn't stay mad for long after his temper strikes, but he does not get along with Brendan at all, as Brendan tries to make Zack's life hard. 

- Zack's biggest goal is life is justice.

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1326 Reviews

Points: 67932
Reviews: 1326

Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:54 am
JabberHut wrote a review...

Hey, Winny!! Let's check out your characters. :D

As a side note, this definitely feels more like a thread for the Writer's Corner forum, rather than the literary section of the site. I think it'll get the proper attention it deserves, and it could generate better discussion! A lot of people go there to discuss their personal projects. :)

1. Aubriana - She sounds like a really energetic main character, and I think that makes for a really great way to move plot along throughout the novel. Judging from her energy, I'm surprised her interest in psychology, so I'd like to ask why! I imagine this means she's very in tune with people's emotions and would go along that route -- counseling and such. Does this mean she likes to help people through their problems? Is she sympathetic with others' emotions or does she eternally view the optimistic side of things?

I'm also interested in her weaknesses or what she's afraid of since these things could generate conflict for her later, which would in turn create tension. For instance, if she's afraid of spiders, and their team happens to be staying in a hotel with a spider infestation -- that could cripple her while also giving her a chance to either overcome her fear or simply deal with it amidst any other conflicts!

But I do get the sense that as a result of her energy and interest in making others happy, she'd be curious enough to an extent that her courage will help drive the story and propel the plot forward. Since Aubriana is the main character that the reader will be following, giving her a sense of humanity with strengths AND weaknesses will help us to relate to her and shape her better as another human being facing (and hopefully overcoming) challenges put before her.

Also, I adore the unique feature of her hair falling into her forehead. <3

Oh! And I just thought about this reading through Shannyn's blurb, but I feel like Aubriana's ultimate goal is a bit narrow. However, this could be because I don't know the plot of the novel yet. Uniting her team before the senior trip seems like a very specific scenario, but perhaps this is the plot of the entire novel? Why is she invested in uniting everyone? Is her goal to travel the world, and she doesn't want the senior trip to fall through? Does she want to confess her feeling to her crush at the top of the EIffel Tower and doesn't want their trip to Paris to go awry?

2. Shannyn - I adore Shannyn, and I feel like we've got a better sense of who she is. She has a very good personality that complements Aubriana's, which will be key for their chemistry. I feel like her love of psychology makes a little more sense as she feels like a person who IS in tune with others' emotions, and she might even face her own emotions at times. This gives her a better understanding of how or why people operate the way they do, while Aubriana might be more interested in more creative or impulsive ways to help people through their emotions.

I'm also intrigued by her interest in music! This could mean that she's VERY active in the music department, perhaps even music competitoins and the sort. I know I was. My whole high school career was centered around music, so does Aubriana also have a somewhat active role in their music department that keeps these two together? Since they're best friends, we don't want their extra-curricular activities to intervene with their relationship!

3. Tyrone - I also think Tyrone is pretty well-identified. I like that his goals are career-centered, possibly for a position with car maintenance or manufacturing. Creating a safe and happy life for his family makes him sound like he's thirty, but he could be a guy that's interested in starting a family already!

He definitely sounds like a cuddly bear, but I do fear that he sounds a LOT like the other two, particularly Shannyn. I don't know how the chemistry will work with Shannyn and Tyrone unless Tyrone has a little more courage to complement her shyness. For instance, if Aubriana has this "brilliant" idea to help calm a situation, maybe Shannyn is too afraid to say "NO AUBRIANA THAT'S STUPID" and Tyrone instead sees Shannyn's uneasiness and does the talking for her.

Since Aubriana, Shannyn, and Tyrone are going to be some sort of trio of friends, I'd definitely try writing character studies with these three to help solidify not only their personalities but their relationship as well. How do these three fit together, and why are these three such good friends? What brought them together, and what keeps them together? High school is a VERY busy time, especially for seniors, so make sure their schedules and interests are aligned enough to keep this realistic!

As a side note, from the scenario I just depicted as an example, I almost ship Shannyn and Tyrone. xD But again! We don't want them both to be shy, or Aubriana will have no reason to be "best" friends with them. And two shy people aren't going to date, or at least that relationship won't last. Aubriana's far more energetic, according to her bio, than these two. With Shannyn being so shy, Tyrone will have to be the link that keeps honesty in the trio's relationship. (Also, why is a basketball player and car enthusiast good friends with these two? There'll be a valuable story here that you could tap into later in the novel!)

4. Marissa - I like Marissa. I feel like she fits the role of a very diligent class president, and I almost feel like her honesty or even bluntness could prove valuable for the main trio. I especially love the dash of character with the love of cute animals. I'm surprised she wants to go into business, though, if her interest is maintaining order. It sounds more like a career in politics, law enforcement, or the judicial branch. Why is she interested in business? Does she want to run her own business? In what area? Does this also make her rather frugal with money? This could put constraints on their senior trip, pertaining to schedule and funding. Also, do people follow her blindly? Does she have a good supporting student council to aid her in these decisions, or does everyone just believe in her? This could provide conflict! Even student body presidents make mistakes. :D

5. Brendan - Brendan sounds like a pretty sturdy jock character! He'll definitely provide a lot of conflict or just make a few waves throughout the novel. Why does he pick on Aubriana and Shannyn? What have they done to deserve that attention? Does Brendan secretly LIKE one of those two? Does he bully shy kids like Shannyn, and Aubriana stands up for her, putting her on his radar as well? Why does Brendan bully them?

Brendan could also be used to RESOLVE conflict. Eventually, we could see him in a good light, and his strengths could be used to the advantage of the plot. It's hard to say what his future will be in this novel at this point, but at the very least, I'd narrow down exactly why he bullies the main two girls (and not Tyrone??).

I'm also intrigued by the fact Brendan has a football scholarship AND he's rich. Is there a rumor that his family might have bought his way into this college instead? Typically, snobby rich kids don't try so hard to get into college since they have no sense of responsibility in that regard. They're just used to having money or getting what they want/need.

6. Gabriel - Oooh why does Brendan listen to Gabe? Does Brendan have a crush on Gabe? Did Gabe earn his respect at some point, perhaps through football? What kind of power does Gabe have over Brendan?

He sounds like a pretty side character, so he might not need much more than why his relationship with Brendan is the way it is. I don't know much more about him, though. He's kind of a male version of Shannyn and Marissa put together.

7. Karina - Maybe I was wrong about Shannyn being super smart if Karina is considered the smart one! It seems like Karina could provide some reliable knowledge in a clutch moment if they ever need it. I almost feel like she'd get along really well with Shannyn, like they'd study together. But it could also be the opposite, like perhaps Karina and/or Shannyn disagrees with the scholarly opinions of the other.

Also, does Karina get teased for having a college boyfriend? Or perhaps admired for it?

8. Jacquelyn - This might be your most well-rounded character so far! She has strengths AND weaknesses with a clear passion for art and fashion. It caught my interest that she is an older sister, and since her mother is also single, Jaq should definitely have a certain sense of responsibility or even practiced authority. As the oldest, she'll be helping her mother a lot and helped raise or even babysit her younger sisters. So she'll have a sense of responsibility, she might even have the lungs to shout over everyone on the bus to be quiet. This could also mean Marissa, a leader herself, could rub her the wrong way -- but it could also mean they get along, considering Jaq's bubbly personality. Flesh these two characters out a bit more or write a character study to see if maybe these two end up being good friends or if there's a bit of resistance in their chemistry.

I'm an oldest child, so I latched onto that pretty quick. XD

9. Axel - I ship him and Shannyn.

Before I go into that, I notice he's a top student. This could mean that he and Karina have a connection. Is Axel competitive, or do his parents push him to be valedictorian?

I LOVE that you have a math geek now, a techie of sorts. And it absolutely fits that someone like him would be interested in video games, particularly in ones that are very mentally engaging. He's not the guy that's going to be shouting at the television, but he would silently calculate all the little moves made during the game. He might be interested in RTS games, he could even be a FPS gamer with very precise aim and an extremely good sense of geometry or physics. He might play RPG games that require a good understanding of the algorithms behind them. I mean, a smart geek liking video games is absolutely fitting, and non-gamers won't understand why this is the case, but if you spin it just right, this will work perfectly for him.

Similar to his interest in music. It's very analytics, logical, and requires a LOT of mental capacity to master. And considering Shannyn wants to go into music, I feel like these two might be going to solo competitions a lot and have seen each other at least in passing. Perhaps Shannyn has a small crush on Axel, and by the end, Axel has an interest in Shannyn. I also think Axel's social skills will complement Shannyn's shyness, and I think he could bring out a certain element of her personality that she doesn't normally reveal to outsiders.

I'm intrigued by the fact he's friends with Brendan, though. Why is this the case? Axel doesn't play football, and Brendan doesn't seem to be very interested with studies. I don't see that their schedules would really support this kind of friendship. BUT if this is the case, why is Gabe the one that shuts Brendan down and not Axel? Who is Gabe to these two? Who is Axel to Brendan? How do these three work together relationship-wise?

I do think his goal could be narrowed down a bit, considering how intelligent he is and how vast his passions are. He undoubtedly has very specific passions in mind or, at most, a laundry list of goals to achieve. If that's the case, then that's the case. Is he interested in becoming a professional trumpet player? Does he want to create the first domestic sentient AI? Does he want to be a world-class RTS gamer? (Dude, those Starcraft II players are INSANE.) Does he want all of those things? Is he HAPPY with how rigid his home-life undoubtedly is, or does he crave more freedom? Perhaps his parents don't like him gaming, but he wants to be an esports player. Or maybe he loathes the trumpet and prefers the piano, but his parents insist on the trumpet due to financial reasons.

10. Alexis - Alexis sounded like a very typical snobby girl until the end of her bio. This is where things got REALLY interesting about her. So not only is Alexis interested in fashion, but she's ALSO interested in her family's business. Having such a strong interest in business -- strong enough to make it her character's goal -- means she has a sense of business, sense of finances or an understanding of money/economy, and is very charismatic to be able to sell things to people (particularly houses).

I also would like to know why she is friendly to Marissa ONLY? Marissa might be student body president, but that's it. In my school, that didn't have much ground for authority as it was still ultimately the teachers that mattered. So why Marissa? Does Alexis like Marissa? Does she see a life of luxury with Marissa in her future?

Alexis is also the example of typical rich kid that I kind of touched on with Brendan. She's become used to the idea of everything being provided to her, so where does she get the sense or drive of running a business? This will flesh her out more into a realistic human being as opposed to a middle school bully.

11. Tyren - HOLY CRAP, GIRL. THIS POOR GUY. //sob

So my first question is: Who is he living with? Who is he financially dependent on? He's still considered a minor at the time he lost his parents, so I'd imagine perhaps his grandparents or other family is his proper legal guardian?

With such huge background as this, I feel like he could be a major side character. Otherwise, what's the point? But his bio clearly depicts a VERY good character development for him, so he'll be in the foreground enough for this to be made clear to the reader. And how does his background drive him to be a better character by the end? He clearly starts out with a sense of loneliness -- sounds like he'd be afraid of driving as well. Perhaps he just skateboards now instead of drives?

He also probably gets occasional flashbacks if he's been stuck in his thoughts over this for three years. I was in a car accident (was not the driver), and the memory still freaks me out any time I drive through an intersection. (My friend didn't stop at a red light, so he drove right into the side of a moving vehicle crossing left to right. It was terrifying, horrifying, and I came out with nothing more than shaky whiplash, but the other car's passengers were not as fortunate.)

However, after three years, I worry that Tyren is overcoming the grief still. I think he'd be in the stage of life where he's trying to move on, not necessarily swimming in the sorrow. Loneliness will still strike him hard, and the memories will still make him sad, but I hope he's not completely rejecting social interaction. Especially if he's naturally loyal and even funny or charming. I feel like he'd be using friendliness and charm as a means to HIDE his depression or negativity. And perhaps Shannyn and/or Aubriana, having strong interests in mental health and psychology, see right through this. For this reason, I feel like Tyren might be very significant a character that can bring out these qualities in the main trio.

His goal definitely lines up with that of law enforcement or military. Potential love interest for Aubriana, too. She could be the sunlight he needs in his life of darkness, seeing right through that foggy haze of depression -- however, what will he have for Aubriana? Aubriana needs some weaknesses to better find a complementary significant other! Does he save her life? What does she learn from him? A sense of loyalty, perhaps? Or maybe HE is the courage that SHE is lacking?

12. Zack - He sounds a looot like Tyren. I'd be very careful about this and try to set them apart from each other. 'Cause now we have TWO characters with tragic backstories, and our main cast is going to use their interest in mental health to tap into these guys. We don't want Zack to sound like Tyren, though, and vice-versa.

I still feel like Tyren might be the better pick for Aubriana couple-wise simply because I think Aubriana is too outgoing to complement Zack. Tyren is still a bit cautious while being very protective, whereas Zack has a quick temper and doesn't stop and think before he acts. He'd require someone to rope him in better, like Marissa.

Also, why doesn't he get along with Brendan? Do their personalities just clash? It sounds like they have a history of clashing. Is Zack also a football player? Does Zack resent Brendan for achieving the football scholarship that he's always wanted? And as a victim of verbal abuse, presumably domestic, does he frequently have shouting matches with his parent(s)? If someone is verbally abusing him, how has that affected him if he's still so loyal and carries a strong sense of justice? It sounds like even if he's got an abusive past, he's actually very well-equipped to move on or defend himself. He's not as much of a concern as, say, Tyren.



You have a LOT of characters, but it's VERY good to have a solid understanding of them all. I love how diverse your cast is, too. And you have a very solid base for each of them! I'd definitely focus more on their weaknesses and narrow down their goals a bit, particularly the more major characters and how those goals will fit in with the plot line or novel.

Additionally, the main characters (particularly Aubriana) will be showing a change of character (for the better, in this case), so try to identify what fear or weakness or lie they are trying to overcome through the novel. This will also help determine what other character might be a good support for them, who is the key character(s) that will help them out of their fear/weakness/lie and help them grow into a better version of themselves.

It might also help trying to map out connections between charaters. For instance, if you have index cards for each character and laid them out, then you can use yarn to connect characters together with a note indicating why they are connected. For instance, Shannyn and Axel would have a blue yarn connecting them and a post-it that specifies an interest in music. Or red yarn for academic interests, and that could connect Shannyn and Katrina. It might help you better visualize how everyone relates to each other and how their personalities might feed off each other.

I'd also consider each character's value to the plot as well, if they have any. The main cast in particular should have reason of involvement with the plot. :D

Hopefully this all makes some sense! If you have any questions or wish to discuss something, let me know!

Keep writing!!

Jabber, the One and Only!

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90 Reviews

Points: 2518
Reviews: 90

Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:44 am
LZPianoGirl wrote a review...

**My Thoughts**

Hey Winny! LZ here with a review! Let me just say, I don't really know how to review this, but I did really like the overview of your characters!

**Formatting and Grammar**

This stuff doesn't really matter, but oh well. I like how you put a space behind the dashes, so they aren't connected to the words. As for grammar, it was perfect.

**Capitalization and Punctuation**

Again, doesn't matter for a piece like this. But, perfect!

**Characters (my favorite part!)**

Aubriana: What a unique name! She seems like a good person and a bit funny, too!
Shannyn: Again, nice name! She sounds like me, except for being interested in psychology.
Tyrone: A tall guy! And he works on cars?! Sounds exactly like my dad.
Marissa: She sounds super kind, yet very intimidating (at times). I totally pair her with Tyrone.
Brendan: Sounds like a pretty awful guy to be around. 2/10, don't like this character.
Gabriel: Not a good friend of Brendan, I assume? I would like more detail on this character, if possible.
Karina: I thought Shannyn was like me, I was totally wrong. Karina is like, my clone (except for her height)!
Jacquelyn: My seven-year-old sister is taller than Jaq, granted she is extremely tall for her age (love the nickname, is it pronounced "Jack"?).
Axel: Chocolate cake! I love it! Seems like a cool dude, someone I would spend time with.
Alexis: Practically the female version of Brendan.
Tyren: Keep Tyren as his name, I like it. Poor him! Goodness, he has bad luck! I feel so bad for him!
Zack: A motorcycle?! This is one cool dude!

I really like all of these characters (well, most of them). I would appreciate more detail on some of these. You have a ton of information on Axel, but practically none on Gabriel.


I would love to read this book! Have you posted chapters yet?

**Quick Review**

Love it!

Keep on writing, and happy review day! Have a great rest of the month!


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37 Reviews

Points: 221
Reviews: 37

Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:31 am
Raelyn wrote a review...

Hey, Winny, you have really put a lot of work into Roleplaying these characters so good Job! My first impression is wow that a lot of characters. Like a lot. I think that it is super cool, but my one thing is that it is a lot of keeping track of as a reader. I love to read books like mortal instrument and Throne of Glass that have a lot of characters, however, they introduce them slowly. That would be my advice to you is slowly build and introduce these characters. Also, don't be afraid to have this description be your end goal of what you want your character to become. I do this too but there is a lot of perfect characters in her, I might try and consider their flaws too. As far as couples go I think that is one of the best parts about the story progression and being an author is that you get to chose that as you go. And who knows maybe your character will choose it for themselves;) if you know what I mean.

Now just to clarify every individual author's writing process is unique to themselves so if anything I say in here, is just not how you write it is totally fine! I am offended in no way. I really like you analytical story planning. I look forward to seeing how you grow and develop this story.

My last words of wisdom, writing is a journey with highs and lows all along the way, but in the end, when you get to your destination you get to look how far you come. And if you chose to you get to start a whole new journey.

What are you waiting for WRITE!

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81 Reviews

Points: 1864
Reviews: 81

Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:28 am
dahlia58 wrote a review...

All of your characters sound great, if you ask me. The physical descriptions you put in really helped me visualize them in my head. I'm not good at making characters pairings, so I can't help you much with that...But Alexis and Brendan seem similar in some ways, so maybe they'll be a good match? Are these characters going to appear a story completely seperate from The Invisible Kid, or will they make cameos? I'd love to know the title when you decide on one^^

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1155 Reviews

Points: 6492
Reviews: 1155

Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:27 am
Elinor wrote a review...

Hey WinnyWriter!

My name is Elinor, and happy review day! I see you've been with us since September, and I hope you've been enjoying your time on the site thus far!

As I'm sure you know, usually things at this stage are for the writer's eyes only. I do know I will write out character descriptions myself when I'm planning out new stories that I want to write. But, since you posted this, I'm assuming you want feedback on these character descriptions and how they would fit into the story that you have in mind.

That being said, I think all of these characters look good. The one thing that seems to be missing here is a sense of what the story itself is and how these characters fit into it.t While you touch on their interpersonal dynamic is, I want to know what the main conflict it is and what sort of world these characters inhabit before we learn about the character proper.

Also, one thing I think it would be good to sense of is the size of each character's role in the story. Aubriana and Shannyn seem to be the main characters, but I was unsure about the rest. Even for a novel, twelve central characters is a lot. I'd go into more detail about what explicit purpose each character will serve in the story and whether they're lead or supporting. I don't think you necessarily have to divide them by subheadings or anything like that, just include all of this information in the description. Additionally, I think it would help to include some of their character traits, like music they like or habitts they
Hope this helps! Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

All the best,

All the best,

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Sat Jan 25, 2020 11:45 pm
tgham99 wrote a review...

Some rambling notes in no particular order, so I apologize if it's super scatterbrained!!

You mentioned wanting to couple up a couple of the characters, and right away I thought of pairing Tyrone and Alexis. I would absolutely love to see how the two of them work out as a couple (even if it crashes and burns) because of how drastically different they are. She's self-centered and materialistic, while he's more down to earth and wants to provide a good life for himself and his future family. Do they mesh well with each other and balance each other out? Or do they crash and burn in a toxic flame?

Another couple I would love to see: Zack and Marissa. Zack's biggest goal in life is justice, and I feel like his fearlessness would mesh well with Marissa's desire to goal to create and maintain order and harmony. Maybe they could end up together in a mission to help people as they travel different places? Not sure how your story is going to be structured but I think it would be so fun to see how they travel to different parts of the globe together. Maybe a summer trip after graduation or something like that?

I think that you have a good foundation for creating a story, and you most definitely have enough characters to put together an amazing plotline.

In terms of suggestions, I would maybe consider adding a little bit more into the mix in terms of antagonistic personalities. Alexis and Brendan are written as more problematic than the others, but maybe we could get some more negative traits in the other characters to sort of contrast their "goodness"? I'm a sucker for antagonism and I love seeing different sides to each character.

I feel like Aubriana and Shannyn could use a little bit more in-depth development and especially in terms of their goals. I'm probably jumping the gun but I would love to see more details in regards to why they have the goals that they do. What do their backstories look like? Will we get to know the more as we get more into the story?

Last note: I think Jaq is a bit of a fluff addition, unless you have some good plotlines planned for her. She seems like a nice enough character and definitely the artsy one, but I feel like she would benefit from having a stronger purpose. Why did she get into art? Does she have a specific goal or does she just prefer to express herself artistically?

These are just the notes I have for now so hopefully this helped! I may come back and read over everything again just because you have so many lovely characters and it was hard to go through them one by one!!

How can I be king of the world? Because I am king of rubbish. And rubbish is what the world is made of.
— Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane