LittleLee's here for a review! Look, I have never reviewed your work, so forgive me if I sound too critical. I will start with the negatives of this poem, and end it with the positive parts.
The first stanza just is not how a really good poem should start. It does not sound poetic, frankly speaking.
And how is s/he a good friend if they speak like thunder? I mean, doesn't that imply that they shout a lot?
The whole poem isn't like a poem at all, because there are not enough commas and the whole thing is written like a story!
What pictures? To create imagery, you need a good back ground, don't you? Elaborate.
The last line : it should be "the trap that is one-sided love". What have I done? I removed a "the" and added -. Got it?
Like @DemonGoddess said, seperate the lines, and you're there!
Anyways, the poem is very moving, and many of the readers can probably relate to this. That's all I have to say!
Can I have your blood?
Points: 18564
Reviews: 278
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