z

Young Writers Society



McSlick Cool J

by Tim L.


There once lived a man named McSlick Cool J. He was the man. Anyone who looked at him's eyes automatically exploded because he was

two awesome. Yes two. Meaning that if you look for the two top ranking awesome people in the world, they are both McSlick Cool J. He counts

twice. This story is about the time he saved the world from the evil aliens, the Cub Scouts. You see, in the near future of 2016, all the

7 year old Cub Scouts of the world got together and got really pissed off because none of them could ever got the friggin archery

patch. It was just too freakin hard. So, they went on a murderous rampage that cost the lives of 46 people, and an armadillo.

That just so happens to be the cause of this entire war. After the mass slaughtering, the Cub Scout Super Soldiers (CSSS) moved to Mars

on a spaceship they made from wood using there Cub Scout guides. The world thought that there nightmare was over. Well it was just

beginning. Luckily, McSlick Cool J was on the case. About a year later, the armadillo who suffered a tragic death was finally found. At the

funeral, everything seemed to be going normal. Then it happened. These Cub Scouts were smart. They knew how important this armadillo

was to mankind for some stupid reason. They knew important people would be there. That's why they attacked. They came down over the

funeral using everything from Wraiths to Banshees, and every other Halo vehicle in between. McSlick Cool J, who was about a block away deliviring a baby

out of a tree...in a well, heard everything. He quickly helped the baby and mother out of the well-tree and ran to the scene. Bodies were

everywhere, and so were double-tied gorilla butter knots. Your not supposed to know how to make that knot until your an eagle scout.

They weren't screwing around. So McSlick Cool J did what any sane person would do. He ripped his shirt off and then he ate the year old armadillo

corpse. What did this incredible act accomplish? Nothing at all. But he can do whatever the hell he wants. After his snack, he pulled out three nine milimeters. He

shot two in his hands and one in his foot. When the bullets ran out, he ripped out his teeth and loaded them in the gun. Don't worry, they'll

grow back. He's McSlick Cool J. This shootout continued for one day, until all you could see was dead eightyear olds scattered everywhere.

J crept over to one of the bodies and touched its nutsack. Then he told everyone it was ok. 100 onlookers had just seen a man kill the hell out

of 200 7 year olds, then touch one of their dead ballbags. No one said anything. Why? 'Cause he's McSlick Cool J, and he's a badass.


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4103 Reviews


Points: 254288
Reviews: 4103

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Sun Sep 27, 2020 4:09 pm
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: So this one was a bit of a strange story or at least the ending of it certainly was. There's some pretty crazy stuff that is going on in here and for the most part you've done a great job creating some absolutely ridiculous thoughts about how these things are progressing and making it really funny. The last bit of humor was the only thing that didn't quite sit right with me but that's just me.

Anyway let's get right to it,

There once lived a man named McSlick Cool J. He was the man. Anyone who looked at him's eyes automatically exploded because he was two awesome. Yes two. Meaning that if you look for the two top ranking awesome people in the world, they are both McSlick Cool J. He counts twice.


Well since you did put out a warning saying that you were lazy to format it I thought I'd just get what I assume was maybe your first paragraph (or more like what I think should be the first paragraph because I'm crazy like that). And well I mean it is clearly letting us know exactly what we are heading in for and its pretty nice play on words there. (Puns are my weakness)

This story is about the time he saved the world from the evil aliens, the Cub Scouts. You see, in the near future of 2016, all the 7 year old Cub Scouts of the world got together and got really pissed off because none of them could ever got the friggin archery patch. It was just too freakin hard. So, they went on a murderous rampage that cost the lives of 46 people, and an armadillo.


This paragraph is so ridiculous that I absolutely love it. I love the attention to detail with that one lonely armadillo. It is definitely a very nice bonus addition.

That just so happens to be the cause of this entire war. After the mass slaughtering, the Cub Scout Super Soldiers (CSSS) moved to Mars on a spaceship they made from wood using there Cub Scout guides. The world thought that there nightmare was over. Well it was just beginning. Luckily, McSlick Cool J was on the case.


Okay I'm not going to attempt to inject science into this and tell you that it would not be possible to for them to even get to Mars in a year but oh wait a minute I just did. Professor Harry cannot be controlled.

About a year later, the armadillo who suffered a tragic death was finally found. At the funeral, everything seemed to be going normal. Then it happened. These Cub Scouts were smart. They knew how important this armadillo was to mankind for some stupid reason. They knew important people would be there. That's why they attacked. They came down over the funeral using everything from Wraiths to Banshees, and every other Halo vehicle in between.


Well that's definitely a very interesting image to try and picture...its like Avengers Endgame but ten time more ridiculous.

McSlick Cool J, who was about a block away deliviring a baby out of a tree...in a well, heard everything. He quickly helped the baby and mother out of the well-tree and ran to the scene. Bodies were everywhere, and so were double-tied gorilla butter knots. Your not supposed to know how to make that knot until your an eagle scout.


Well uh...what was I going to say. I'm too busy laughing...sorry I forgot.

They weren't screwing around. So McSlick Cool J did what any sane person would do. He ripped his shirt off and then he ate the year old armadillo corpse. What did this incredible act accomplish? Nothing at all. But he can do whatever the hell he wants. After his snack, he pulled out three nine milimeters. He shot two in his hands and one in his foot. When the bullets ran out, he ripped out his teeth and loaded them in the gun.


Um points for sheer ridiculousness is all I can award at the moment because that is what we are seeing at the moment.

Don't worry, they'll

This shootout continued for one day, until all you could see was dead eightyear olds scattered everywhere. J crept over to one of the bodies and touched its nutsack. Then he told everyone it was ok. 100 onlookers had just seen a man kill the hell out of 200 7 year olds, then touch one of their dead ballbags. No one said anything. Why? 'Cause he's McSlick Cool J, and he's a badass.


Well that one almost sounds like a bit of satire on action movies right there. That type of humor is personally not my cup of tea so the ending was kind of meh for me but I'm sure most people would find that hilarious so great job!

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall its a pretty nicely done little piece of work and there was nothing particular to point out grammar wise. Since you already realized the formatting was off I'm not going to comment on that either...or wait I just did. :). Anyways so that's about all I have to say for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

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Points: 1558
Reviews: 12

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Thu Aug 06, 2009 3:42 am
Tim L. says...



yeah by the way I know the format is probably really, really annoying but that's the way it was pasted and I was WAY too lazy to go back and hit backspace at the end of all those lines. K bye





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