A Merry Band of Monsters - Chapter 2

“Run! The demon is chasing us!” a tubby kid yelled. The group of children started to run away from Aria. A few looked back to see if she was chasing after them. Instead, she shuffled away with her toy ball, paying them no mind.

Stronglen was a quaint, yet strange, little village. Half of its residents were demon refugees, though you wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance. They hid amongst the other blonde- and red-haired villagers, taking the forms of black-haired humans. It annoyed Aria that she was called a demon because of her natural hair colour, but in the end, it wasn’t much to worry about. It’s not like that was the reason no one liked her.

The sun was beginning to set on the log buildings, meaning it was time for her shift. She hurried towards the Dragonhand Inn, the largest building in Stronglen. She passed by the village’s local protesters, in arms about the demonic invasion. Demons ignored them. They were bad for the local economy. She opened the doors, only to be greeted by an angry, square-faced orc woman.

“Don’t tell me you wasting away at the entrance again!” The orc woman shouted, to the discomfort of the other inn’s guests. “Your shift started an hour ago!”

“I’m sorry, Madame LeGrouche,” Aria apologized, lowering her head to the vomit-coloured orc. “But the sun has just set. I’m pretty sure that my shift only started now.”

LeGrouche spat into a bowl, before grabbing a uniform off the coat rack and throwing it onto Aria. “Daylights savings time. Go buy a watch.”

“But, Madame LeGrouche, you don’t pay me.”

“Er, that is a problem…” LeGrouche looked around the tabletop, before eyeing a half-working clock. She tore it off the wall and placed it on the girl’s ball. “Here. The hour hand’s working, so it should be more than enough.”

Aria eyed the clock. Only the minute hand worked. LeGrouche was always an idiot. She wasn’t about to say anything back, however, and decided to leave it there. She dashed into the changing room.

Placing the ball and clock into her locker, she quickly changed from her ragged dress into the uniform, a slightly less ragged waiter’s dress and apron. She splashed her face with a bit of dirt to hide her malnourished features before walking out into the dining room.

The Dragonhand Inn was packed with adventuring parties of various shapes, sizes, and species. Since Stronglen was one of the few stable villages near the Demon King’s land, many stayed there just for quick rest before going out on excursions. It also helped that most of the gluttony demons LeGrouche employed cooked delicious food.

“A number thirteen for table twenty-six!” Guzzlejaw, the head server, called out. Guzzlejaw took the chiselled face of a handsome man, which was a bit of disconnect with the demon’s large stomach bulging out. Aria was the only one to walk up to him. He clicked his tongue before dropping the massive order of demon chicken and a salad into her outstretched hands. Even demons didn’t like her, and they were the only ones she couldn’t figure out why. Aria hurried to the twenty-sixth table, where two hulking warriors and a fragile wizard were seated. She placed their food out for them. Immediately, the wizard took the largest portion, voraciously devouring it. The warriors opted to split the salads. One handed the girl a few silver coins as a tip.

“I’m sorry, we don’t take tips.” Aria bowed her head. The warrior shrugged, before returning to his meal.

“A number fifty-four, a number seventy-three, and three number thirty-six’s for table two!” Guzzlejaw called out again. Most of the other servers paused at the order, except Aria. She was the first by Guzzlejaw’s legs. He dropped a plate of demon cow steak, a bowl of beetroot soup, and three still-beating goliath hearts into her hands. It was a strange order, but then again, there were a lot of demons around here.

Once again, she hurried to table two. An old man, a lizardman, and a masked figure in hoods sat, mildly talking with each other. At least, it looked like that to Aria, until the masked figure waved his hand and a lightning bolt struck the old man in the back of the head.

“The hell was that for?” Gallant questioned, leaning over the table.

“For being an idiot,” Vegemite answered.

Another tense band of adventurers. The Demon King’s land drew a lot of these types. Aria shrugged it off as she stopped by the table, layout out the dishes in front of the three.

“Ah, finally. Cheers,” Grace said, taking the bowl of soup and dunking his snout inside it. The old man took the plate of steak and begun to devour it with the same voracity as the wizard had before. The masked figure waved his hand, and the goliath hearts began to hover in front of his face.

“It took you long enough,” Vegemite muttered. “I should damn you to hell, you know."

"I'm sorry, sir," Aria began. "But our policy states that you're not allowed to threaten employees with damnation."

"What about eternal suffering?"

"Also not allowed."

"Look into my eyes, child." Vegemite took off his mask, revealing his pale skull and icy blue eyes. "Look deep into it, until you are trapped in a never-ending cycle of torment."

"Cycles of torment are allowed, but only up to three," Aria informed. She took the mask from Vegemite's hands and placed it back on his face. "Also, please do not show your face. It'll upset the other patrons."

Vegemite readjusted his mask before slinking back into his seat. The three floating goliath hearts were starting to lose both their colour and heartbeats, until they exploded, leaving nothing but grey goop splattered on the table.

"Hah, ashamed that you couldn't scare a child, Lord Condiment?" Gallant laughed. Vegemite waved his hand, and the steak he was eating flew into the cursed knight's mouth, lodging itself into his windpipe. He clawed at his neck, before falling onto the table, lifeless.

"Will that be all?" Aria asked, unfazed by the murder she had just witnessed. Just another regular occurrence.

"Take Sir Gallant here up to his room. He'll be out for some time," Vegemite ordered, taking a spare bit of the steak and draining it of colour. "Grace, carry him up, will you?"

"Ah, can do, Lord Veg," Grace said, lifting his head from the bowl. He stood up and flung Gallant over his shoulder. "Lead the way... Uh..."

"Aria."

"Ah yes. Aria. Do the thing I just said."

Aria excused herself before walking with the massive lizardman out of the dining room. She approached the front desk, where LeGrouche twiddled a pen in her large misshapen hands.

"Oi, where are you going?" LeGrouche asked.

"One of the patrons has had an accident, so I'm helping Mr. Grace here with delivering him to his room."

"Look, girl. I don't pay you to help with bellhop duties."

"You don't pay me at all."

"...Fair enough. Hurry back."

After receiving the room number from LeGrouche, Aria lead Grace to one of the back rooms. Inside were two beds and a large sack of nickels pouring out. The lizardman had a face of anguish as he dropped Gallant and rushed to the sack. He fruitlessly tried to scrape the coins back in.

Aria sighed to herself, before walking to the sack and holding its opening upwards. "Put them in."

"Oh..." Grace had a moment of realization as he started to lift up piles of nickels and placed them back inside. Once the floor was free of coins, Aria tied up the bag to prevent any more coin spillage. "Thanks, lass. You really saved me, you know?"

"Think nothing of it," Aria said, dusting off her uniform. "So, why do you have a bag of nickels?"

"It's my bed," Grace said, jumping back onto the sack. The coins clanged together as he rubbed his back against them. He froze as his hood fell back, revealing his two large horns. Aria didn't seem to care, however, as she started to pull the lifeless Gallant into the room and onto a bed. "You're...not surprised?"

"Of what?"

"My horns."

"Lots of things have horns."

"I... never thought about it like that..." Grace pondered. Aria sighed. Even she would be surprised to find the horns of a dragon on a simple lizardman, but the one in question seemed so idiotic it ruined the suspension of disbelief. "So, what're you doing with a job at your age? You said you don't get paid."

"If I work for at least one shift, Guzzlejaw will give me leftovers and LeGrouche will let me sleep under the front desk."

"You don't try to get more? Or you know, actual money?"

Aria shrugged. "Child labour laws state that if a child works a job, they have to be paid minimum wage. If I'm not paid, it's technically not a job."

"You seem way too versed in laws for a child."

"I only have a book of laws that LeGrouche keeps under the desk to read when I'm bored," Aria said, growing increasingly annoyed at the lizardman's intrigue. "If you'll excuse me, I have to head back, or she'll probably dock the meat from my scraps."

Before Grace could answer, Aria was already halfway out the door. She hurried through the hallway before turning a corner, running straight into Vegemite. She fell to the floor while the lich hovered in the air. "Child, please watch yourself, because I'm this close to breaking your policy I'm following for reason."

"Sorry about that, Mr. Veg."

"Lord Vegemite, child. Lord Vegemite, your future god."

"Sorry, Mr. 'Lord Vegemite, your future god'." Aria hurried away before the few morsels she got for dinner were taken away. Vegemite raised his hand, prepared to summon an otherworldly monster to consume her, but decided against it. He audibly sighed, before floating back into his room, greeted by the sight of Grace beating Gallant with his sack of coins.

"Grace! No! Bad!" Vegemite scolded, removing his mask. He waved his hand, and Gallant's body flew off the bed frame. "Not on the bed! It'll start to smell."

"Right, right, sorry," Grace chuckled, returning to his task. "So, did you see Aria pass by?"

"The girl? Yes, she ran into me."

"Oh... That's unfortunate. I liked her."

"I didn't kill her, Grace. Though I very much wanted to."

"Really? Did you run out of magic or something?"

"An all-powerful being like me doesn't run out of magic, Grace. There's just something about that girl. There’s some kind of air to her. She may have a large positive to negative magic ratio. It’s irritating all of the lesser demons here. I’d like to study her further for a bit."

"Wait, there are demons here?"

Before Vegemite could berate Grace for not noticing earlier, a cleaning lady opened the door into the room. She was greeted by the sight of a lizardman beating a bloodied corpse with his sack while a lich watched from the side. Before she could even scream, Vegemite snapped his bony fingers.

A portal of purple energy formed behind the cleaning lady and ethereal tendrils shot out, grabbing onto her arms and face. They slowly dragged her inside as she shook violently. In a short moment, there was nothing left of her as the portal closed.

"Ah, still haven't lost my touch," Vegemite commented as he floated above the bed

“Wasn’t that against policy?”

"Doesn’t matter. I'm going to sleep now. Please, keep your beating to a minimum volume and wake me when someone else comes in uninterrupted. I do enjoy midnight snacks."

"Can do, Lord Veg," Grace saluted. An incoherent mumble came from the corpse. Vegemite slipped into the covers like a leaf, falling asleep as the lizardman continued to beat Gallant into dust.