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It hurts; I don't care

by TheWordsOfWolf


It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

And I want to run out there

I want to make it stop

Stop the shouting

Stop the pain

But I can't

I'm powerless here

They think its all alright

But its not

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

But then after a while

I just don't care

Maybe hurt would be better

Now I just feel numb

I don't care

I don't care

I don't care

Caring doesn't make any difference

It just hurts more

So why should I bother?

It won't change

Nothing ever changes

Its stuck this way

And I don't care

I don't care

I don't careĀ 


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13 Reviews


Points: 338
Reviews: 13

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Mon Aug 09, 2021 6:40 pm
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BornToBeGreat wrote a review...



Hello Wolf,

This yet again another piece of literature I like. First off, I want to say how much I like the repetition. Secondly, this evokes a lot of emotion to the reader especially for the ones who are hurting. And lastly, sometimes I can see myself relating to this whenever I'm at my lowest. Whenever I read the poetry like this, I compare it to my life and how I can relate. It's just so realistic, you feel the emotion. I wouldn't change anything to this if I were you.

It really does hurt. Life will throw many obstacles at you. Life will educe hardships. In the end, we know that it all comes down to who you are as a person and if you are strong enough to face the obstacles. The question is, are you just going to let those obstacles drown you? Caring doesn't make a difference, it's all about what you do to stop the hurt.

We are all here for a reason and everything happens for a purpose....

Amazing job. Keep your head up high and don't ever stop writing!
-BornToBeGreat






Hello again, thank you so much for the review. Your words are encouraging. I wrote this poem in a time when I was at my lowest I think thats what makes it so raw. So accurate what you said about life throwing obstacles at you but you can either let it break or teach you I suppose.
and I think i'm rambling... Thanks again!

as always,
Wolf



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31 Reviews


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Reviews: 31

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Thu Jul 29, 2021 3:29 am
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WrenZorya wrote a review...



Hey there! Good morning/afternoon/evening/night or whatever it is in your dimension. I have come to review your work!

First off I want to say how much I loved the repetition! It really ingrained the emotions into the reader, it made you FEEL things.

It also seems to mirror the repetition in the situation you describe.

This is an excellent poem! Keep up the good work!






thanks so much for the review!



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15 Reviews


Points: 30
Reviews: 15

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Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:36 pm
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eilisBK wrote a review...



This is a very strong poem with lots of raw emotion like you said. I'm unsure if you chose to do this on purpose but I like how you have very little punctuation bar the question marks as it creates a sense of a run-on thought and it makes you almost breathless when reading it.

The use of repetition is a nice touch and I like how you switch from saying "It hurts etc." to "I don't care etc."

A little bit of advice, I noticed that when reading your poem the flow of reading was occasionally broken up by the syllables. Not all poems have to have a flow/rhythm, but the way your poem is set up implies that it should have a rhythm. Just a little food for thought.






thank you so much for taking the time to review i really appreciate it. I will definitely keep these things in mind



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Points: 84
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Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:53 pm
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Jolley10101 wrote a review...



This is a very well done poem! I felt the emotion you put into this poem really well!

Somethings I loved that you did was the repetition of "It hurts" that made the poem feel as if the narrator feels a bunch of pain and agony. I also liked how later in the poem it switches to the repeating of "I don't care" totally changing the attitude and the mood of the narrator. I loved the way you completely shifted the mood. I felt as if the narrator wrote two poems one of how the pain felt at first and one of how the narrator feels numb from all the hurting. I liked how you put a little background into what may have happened saying "They think its alright" and "I'm powerless here".

Somethings you could work on:
I might struggle here because this poem was really excellent, but I always like to give a little advise. Now in poetry the poet can (if they) want have a pattern of rhythm which makes it sound a little less clunky and a little more flowing. To do this you should count the syllables and change some words to make a pattern of how many syllables should be in each line. It does not have to be the same amount every line you can mix it up, but it should be in a pattern if you want. Again, it's totally up to you and the way you want to write it.

I think that it would be cool if you wrote more poems that build upon what may have happened and overall a very great poem. Good job!






Thank you so much for the review I found it really helpful I'll keep these things in mind!
-Wolf



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Points: 84
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Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:51 pm
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Jolley10101 says...



This is a very well done poem! I felt the emotion you put into this poem really well!

Somethings I loved that you did was the repetition of "It hurts" that made the poem feel as if the narrator feels a bunch of pain and agony. I also liked how later in the poem it switches to the repeating of "I don't care" totally changing the attitude and the mood of the narrator. I loved the way you completely shifted the mood. I felt as if the narrator wrote two poems one of how the pain felt at first and one of how the narrator feels numb from all the hurting. I liked how you put a little background into what may have happened saying "They think its alright" and "I'm powerless here".

Somethings you could work on:
I might struggle here because this poem was really excellent, but I always like to give a little advise. Now in poetry the poet can (if they) want have a pattern of rhythm which makes it sound a little less clunky and a little more flowing. To do this you should count the syllables and change some words to make a pattern of how many syllables should be in each line. It does not have to be the same amount every line you can mix it up, but it should be in a pattern if you want. Again, it's totally up to you and the way you want to write it.

I think that it would be cool if you wrote more poems that build upon what may have happened and overall a very great poem. Good job!






Thanks so much for the review! I'll keep those in mind
this was helpful thanks again!




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