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Always Loving, Never Assuming.

by Stellarjay


Disclaimer: I am not a professional in any way. This was just something I thought was important to say. Also this comes from a strongly Christain perspective on the world.

”Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’”

Matthew 22:37-39

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Around the globe no matter our background, ethnicity or religion we all experience and witness some kind of societal stereotype being shoved on us or others. Whether it be subtle, like simply giving a FAB (female at birth) only pink things for their birthday, or completely outright, such as assuming ALL Asian people are incredibly intelligent. Doing and saying things like this separate people into groups. This may not always affect us right away, but over time we become more secluded. We only hang out with people that have the same beliefs, opinions and ideas. This can change our view of “outsiders” (people not in our bubble.) in a negative way. We may not even realize how our words and actions to “outsiders” can really hurt them, further distancing these groups from each other.

To make it clearer, here's an analogy.

Say that Bob loves the color pink. All he can talk about is this color. But Amy likes the color green! She wants to talk about her color too but Bob won’t listen to her. She gets hurt and doesn’t want to hang out with Bob anymore. So instead she finds other green loving people. Bob goes and does the same thing. Soon all the colors in the entire world are grouped together in their little bubbles. No one likes the other. Some say “The Yellows look like pee!” or “ The Greens only it veggies, gross.” even “That’s such a Blue thing to do!” Day after day judgement flies between the bubbles. All assuming, never loving.

But Imagine if Orange breaks away from their bubble. Instead of passing judgment they take the time to hear what Green has to say. Orange takes the time to hear them out and in turn discusses their favorite color. Soon all the colors break away from their bubbles. They learn things about each other that they never knew before. They stop making assumptions and judging each other. Keep in mind they still have their favorite colors but the difference being that they accept and love one another.

Now wouldn’t that be a lovely, good world? Everyone is accepting, never assuming, non-judgemental and loving towards the other. We needn’t all have to agree on the same subjects or have the same beliefs, but at least open our eyes and ears to differing opinions. So I challenge you to take the time to open your ears and listen to what people have to say about their beliefs, interests and opinions. For, despite our many differences, we are all human after all.

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Critiques on fluidity and consistency are strongly appreciated!

Thanks for reading :)


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Sun Sep 05, 2021 6:23 pm
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Okay! Andrew here for a review, you're piece was very well written and had very few grammatical mistakes that I could find. Because of this and the fact that most of the other reviewers seemed to have addressed those problems and strengths, I am going to review your piece in a different way, based on its argument!
Now, as a disclaimer, I will "Debate" your point, in a hope that will help you find any flaws in your argument and or maybe point out ways you have not yet explained it perfectly.

Your argument, as I understand it as A) we shouldn't make up stereotypes about people who fall into boxes they don't choose, (such as gender or race), and should not assume things about people who believe certain things, (such as favorite color or political ideology) and should mingle with people of disparate ideas. So, the overarching idea is we should not split people into groups, box's, tribes, us, them, etc.
I think the first flaw in you're argument is that you seem to have not drawn the distinction of the two types of categories for people. If someone has a certain skin color, I can assume nothing from that besides their skin color, that is the only piece of information that skin color gives me.
But, if someone is of a certain religion, political party, or ideology I know much more. I can assume a catholic believes in the trinity, and that they like the pope, etc.
So, though these two types of groups are related, they are not the same. Because, though it would be wrong to judge someone based on something they can't choose, (Race, Sex, Country of origin etc) It would not be wrong to judge someone based on their ideology. Because, if I have the correct information about that ideology, I can come to correct conclusions about them. So, I am allowed to not want to associate with Nazis, but want to associate with the harry potter fan base.
But, that being said, it is true that incorrectly judging someone based on assumed incorrect information is wrong. Not all harry potter fans are the same. Not all Nazis are the same. I might know one thing about a certain religion, and then assume another that is not true, so one must be very careful to make sure what they believe about groups of people and the people in those groups is correct.
Furthermore, I agree with you that one should not sort all groups into good and bad. I may not agree on every point of theology with Jews, but I still respect their belief and should not put them in the 'bad' category. This applies even more to political parties, which oftentimes feel like opposing teams.
If the overall message of you're article is to judge the individual, not the groups which they inhabit, I implore you. I think we recently judge people entirely based on their groups. This is obviously wrong, but in terms of ideologies, began in a place of wisdom. Because an individual has a choice to join certain groups, and therefore I can judge them on those choices, and assume things about them, based on those choices. I could bet someone who is a member of a feminist activist group would like women's rights etc etc.
Assumptions are not always bad, saying you should not judge a book by its cover make going to a bookstore very difficult. You can't read every book, you can only buy so many. Over assuming is also obviously wrong, but a certain amount of assumption is required to make a system work.
To continue this idea, we must move to things you don't choose, (race, sex etc), now, obviously, you can assume much less based on these 'groups' since they are unchosen and therefore reflect very little on the individual themselves. The only thing you can safely assume is the fact they are in that group.
So to dislike someone or stereotype them based on these things is blatantly wrong, but, you can still connect patterns. An Asian person is much more likely, statistically, to speak an Asian language than I am. So if I asked my Asian friend if they spoke an Asian language, this wouldn't be wrong, since it is simply working with statistics.
This also applies to gender, statistically speaking, men are more likely to be interested in sports, so if I don't know a guy well, asking him if he saw the game last night is a reasonable way to try to start a conversation.
I think your argument is well made, but could maybe do with some more clarification because a life entirely devoid of assuming would be quite difficult.
But that's just my two cents! Hope it helped!
The last point I almost agree completely, associating with people who we differ from and even disagree is deeply important to keeping society running. Partly so we don't have incorrect information about them and assume incorrect things like mentioned previously!
Thanks and keep writing
Andrew
PS. I agree with the sentiment of your message wholeheartedly btw, but I think everything is complex (:




Stellarjay says...


Thanks for the review! Yah, I tried to stay away from explaining every little detail because, like you said, it gets complex very fast. Also another point I tried to make was to love one another even though we are so different. <3



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Sat Sep 04, 2021 3:35 am
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: OKayy....so, on first glance, pretty smooth essay this one. A bit on the shorter side of things, but despite that I'd say its fairly effective at conveying the point that you're trying to make here...and it all flows together beautifully here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Around the globe no matter our background, ethnicity or religion we all experience and witness some kind of societal stereotype being shoved on us or others. Whether it be subtle, like simply giving a FAB (female at birth) only pink things for their birthday, or completely outright, such as assuming ALL Asian people are incredibly intelligent. Doing and saying things like this separate people into groups. This may not always affect us right away, but over time we become more secluded. We only hang out with people that have the same beliefs, opinions and ideas. This can change our view of “outsiders” (people not in our bubble.) in a negative way. We may not even realize how our words and actions to “outsiders” can really hurt them, further distancing these groups from each other.


Okayy...so this is a fairly neat start here. Its a pretty nice introduction that you've got here. You're stating the main point of what you're planning on talking about pretty clearly here, and I think this just gives the reader a nice sense of exactly what it is that they're getting themselves into by reading this and I think that's a lovely way to start off an essay like this.

To make it clearer, here's an analogy.

Say that Bob loves the color pink. All he can talk about is this color. But Amy likes the color green! She wants to talk about her color too but Bob won’t listen to her. She gets hurt and doesn’t want to hang out with Bob anymore. So instead she finds other green loving people. Bob goes and does the same thing. Soon all the colors in the entire world are grouped together in their little bubbles. No one likes the other. Some say “The Yellows look like pee!” or “ The Greens only it veggies, gross.” even “That’s such a Blue thing to do!” Day after day judgement flies between the bubbles. All assuming, never loving.


Hmm, that was a pretty good analogy there, you certainly get the point that you're trying to convey with a nice side of humor there. Humor is certainly not expected in something like this but at least to me its a welcome addition there, and it does a pretty good job of really simplifying the exact point that you're planning to make here.

But Imagine if Orange breaks away from their bubble. Instead of passing judgment they take the time to hear what Green has to say. Orange takes the time to hear them out and in turn discusses their favorite color. Soon all the colors break away from their bubbles. They learn things about each other that they never knew before. They stop making assumptions and judging each other. Keep in mind they still have their favorite colors but the difference being that they accept and love one another.


Hmm...I do love how you've actually continued with that analogy to make the suggestion of how you would want things to go. I think its a great choice cause rather than just randomly stating it, here you get to see a direct contrast in the two situations and as a reader that really manages to stand out and show you how two worlds with these opposing ideals would differ from each other and how the one you present could be better.

Now wouldn’t that be a lovely, good world? Everyone is accepting, never assuming, non-judgemental and loving towards the other. We needn’t all have to agree on the same subjects or have the same beliefs, but at least open our eyes and ears to differing opinions. So I challenge you to take the time to open your ears and listen to what people have to say about their beliefs, interests and opinions. For, despite our many differences, we are all human after all.


Alright, pretty nice transition there to the conclusion and I'd say this is done pretty well. It nicely sums up the points that you try to make and I'd like to say this is something that can potentially leave a fairly lasting impression on a reader. Nicely done here :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a solid piece here. I'd say it does the job that its meant to do and does it quite well. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Stellarjay says...


Thanks for the review Harry!



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!



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Mon Aug 30, 2021 4:15 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Stellarjay,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

I am very torn by this text and like so much how your analogy is composed with so many metaphors and possible substitutions.

I think you've written something really great, especially at a time like now, I think you've done a good job with the analogy of showing something, and also showing an equality. The simple story with the colours is understandable even for very young people and I would be very happy if such stories were taught to children in school to minimise stereotypical thinking.

What I really liked about your analogy was that connection I got, and was reminded of some of the stories from the Bible, which are also aired in a simplicity that one understands. One can clearly see that you want to represent the basis of the Christian faith with your attempt at analogy and I found that very good.

In terms of structure, I thought it was very good. You put together a great structure, where I really liked the introduction. I think you presented it really well and how you jumped from sentence to sentence from one conclusion to the next, but it was understandable. (Be it from a religious or psychological point of view).

Your text put a smile on my face because you presented it with such simplicity that it gave me hope that if you want to change something on your own, you have to start there. These walls that surround the groups have to be broken down by themselves in order to have an effect.

A really, really beautiful text. :D

Doing and saying things like this separate people into groups.

I really like your introduction, how you structure it and give examples. I like how you also come to the conclusion that these stereotypes lead to group formation, and you are completely correct from a psychological point of view. But stereotypes are also more than just partially racist ways of thinking. The brain can't help but think in pigeonholes because it collects and sorts an enormous amount of information every day. That's why there are these stereotypical groupings, because you see something and immediately throw it at an entire (ethnic) group.

We only hang out with people that have the same beliefs, opinions and ideas. This can change our view of “outsiders” (people not in our bubble.) in a negative way.

I'm really a big fan of your introduction, and how you move from one conclusion to the next. You explain it very symbolically and again you are right in a way; psychologically, people look for people who fall into "their" category in terms of beliefs, opinions and ideas. For some things, like intelligence, people even like to look for someone who is more intelligent. (Unless the person who is looking suffers from a personality disorder). You've done a very really excellent job here of illustrating group formation and the danger of segregated groups.

“ The Greens only it veggies, gross.”

I´m assuming you wanted to write “eat” instead of “it”.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




Stellarjay says...


Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it <3



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Mon Aug 30, 2021 1:53 pm
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Elinor wrote a review...



Hi Stellarjay!

Thanks for sharing this essay. My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give you a quick review. I enjoyed reading this essay, and thought your message came across clearly and concisely. It's one more people in today's day an age need to hear.

I understand that you are using favorite colors as a bit of a metaphor to talk about your point, but I'd encourage to dive into something that's a little bit more meaningful. You can still use colors. For instance, you start off strong by talking about how Bob likes pink. While I can't say for certain because I'm not a boy, I would venture a guess that it was much more stigmatized for a boy to like pink than it would have been for me to like blue growing up.

And if a boy did like pink, the assumption would probably be that he's gay. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being gay but say Bob was actually straight. That would be in line with your theme of not making assumptions about people based on stereotypes.

Furthermore I would encourage you to do a grammatical pass on this essay. There are certain moments that I think could be strengthened if you moved around a few words here and there. I would strongly recommend reading this out loud so you can get a sense of how it sounds.

Hope this helps! Like I said, I enjoyed reading your essay. Keep writing.

Elinor




Stellarjay says...


Thanks so much for the review! It means a lot <3



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Sat Aug 28, 2021 4:09 am
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TheMythMaster wrote a review...



Myth here to review!

O.K first off
I quite like the title.

Around the globe no matter our background, ethnicity or religion we all experience and witness some kind of societal stereotype being shoved on us or others.


And this beginning is very good, it is also something most people will agree with.
Although I also think that perhaps if you started with some kind of story (probably your Bob analogy, which I will get to in a minute) it might be a bit more intriguing in order to draw the reader in, keep in mind this is just a suggestion and I am unsure of whether it would be better than it is already.

as for your analogy, it is very simple and easy to understand
“ The Greens only it veggies, gross.”

I think there is supposed to be "Eat" where there is an "It"

other than that I think you did a good job explaining your point
and as for fluidity and consistency I think you did a good job




Stellarjay says...


Thanks for the review! <3




grammar is hard and i dislike it immensely
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