Young Writers Society

Not sure I really got it. I often miss what really good poetry is about, but I enjoyed reading it. It sounded very nice.

Chevy:

I suppose it is a corny line, but I took the first two lines from a "friendship" spam email and then gradually transformed it into something really... dark. I wanted the lines you mentioned to mimic the forced writing of those emails until it dissolves into chaos.

And I'm glad the rest of you enjoyed it.

Oh wow. I really like this--I can relate to it so well.

I was very shocked when these lines:
"Evil
Demonic
Lustful..."
surfaced. Because I'd expected something pleasant--you're giving them a rainbow, afterall! But the betrayal, hurt, and hostility all became evident within the last few lines. I especially liked this line:

"All becomes nothing and nothing becomes you..."
It took me awhile to get, but once I did, it became a very vivid image in my mind--puddle and all concerned. My apologies that I'm not much of a poet and therefore, can't give your poem the review it deserves. But I very much enjoyed it. It was very different and unique from any poetry I've read thus far.

Excellent job. ^_^

"All becomes nothing and nothing becomes you "

Maybe you could break this line up. It's really up to you if you want to keep the pattern there, but I think the poem would look better that way.

I liked those two lines that Chevy mentioned. It seemed very sarcastic and added to the poem's tone. Or maybe that's just me... Anyway, nice job.

"Tie it up in chains, hold it tight
Grip it down with all my might"
Was a little irritating.

Overall, this poem was very dramatic. I loved the last line.