z

Young Writers Society



Recess

by Snoink


Did you see them being herded
Like little lambs?
The little boys and little girls
There they were brought out
Into the blinking sun
From the concrete walls they were kept
Penned in by stern women
With tight lips
And grey eyes.

And there, they were led to wander,
Like little children lost
Until a boy gave a scream
And began chasing another
Until the two ended up into a grassy heap
Their clothes stained with green.
And the little girls began to cluster
Around each other with
Small little twitches of their lips.

But the women, no
They were not pleased
And with a shrill whistle
They called everyone over.

The boys were the first to come
Bounding over with ceaseless energy
Cocking their heads with curiosity
As the women began to bring out
Great big barrels of
…balls

The women, with scowls of disapproval
Handed out these great big balls
And, impatiently told them
That running and screaming and jumping
Was not to be tolerated
Instead, bounce the balls.

And so the little boys
With curious frowns
Bounced the balls carefully
Dribbling, dribbling…
Until they were playing
Many games with their balls.
And they were elated.

The girls came next
Their timid insecure smiles
A great nuisance to the women.
And when they asked the women
How they might play
They pointed to the boys
Who had taken all of the balls
And told them to play with them.
And the girls weren’t quite happy
But they obliged.

Some of the clumsier girls
Were hit in the face
By hard basketballs
While others were squashed
By huge, yet soft ones.
And they were scared at first
But as they played
Together with the boys
They found a sense of unity
That they had never guessed before
And they yelled and shrieked in delight
For five minutes or so

Until they heard a shrill scream
Of a whistle
In which they obediently lined up
And filtered into class.


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User avatar
594 Reviews


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Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:45 pm
Crysi wrote a review...



*BLINKS*

Let's see... if I combine Griff's reading of this with your blog entries... Oh my. :shock:

Hmm, let's see... I saw the women as nuns or Protestant society or something. When the children first ran out to play, I thought they were homosexuals because of the tackling and such. I literally laughed out loud when you wrote "...balls" because I am very immature. :P Same thing with the part about them being elated while playing games with their balls... *AHEM*

Anyway, the "nuns" or whatever disapproved of homosexuality and so made the boys and girls "play" together. At first they didn't want to, but then they realized it felt right.

I read this as a poem that sort of states heterosexuality is the right way... It's not bashing homosexuality, but kind of promoting heterosexuality. I don't know. Maybe I just have a very sick mind...




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110 Reviews


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Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:37 am
zell wrote a review...



:shock: amazing. if you keep this up you will probably be in the top ten for poets.

Please spell check your posts before submitting them, and try to use correct grammar. Thanks. Also, a little more actual "critique" would be nice... ~Crysi




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863 Reviews


Points: 2090
Reviews: 863

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Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:09 am
Griffinkeeper says...



Would you mind informing us of your artistic intent in this case? It seems very... suggestive.

It seems okay in the structural and spelling aspects, but I'm seriously freaked out.

What is going on between those pink piggy ears?





Stop being mean to your self-insert character, you're just being mean to yourself.
— WeepingWisteria