so it's another winter buried under the letters
i wrote to the version of myself who didn't believe
i'd make it this far. so it's too late to fly them into my chest
and hope they stick this time. so it's just december, really.
tradition demands i go back to wasting my time
asking all the wrong people about whether my blood
can get weary of me. last year you laughed, told me
i didn't owe my veins sympathy that they'd never return.
this year i can't get you on the line. i should want a witness
so i don't end up with a tragedy i barely remember:
as it is, i can only think about how it's too cold in my lungs
when i'm singing death as i drive past a graveyard.
irony tastes like what you imagine fresh air does.
i imagine that there's a world in which i breathe in
and don't ever regret it. in this one i'm still on the carpet
asking you what shape a heart contorts itself into
when it's finally had enough of beating. between folds
of the paper plane in your hands, not once looking up,
you tell me filing it down until you were left holding
nothing but a sequel of violence did wonders for you
and i don't tell anyone the truth until it finds my ribs.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
I believe this poem does a good job of portraying how much the weather sucks right now. The winter is a terrible place to be in; it's always cold, brisket, and has lots of heavy rain. It may look pretty on the outside, but it sucks to actually be in the freezing cold.
"Another winter buried under the letters" means that one can't stand the wintertime. They thinknop"oh, we're going to have a pretty white Christmas," but the snow rarely happens, and if it does, either it lasts a few days or it's full of slush. You can't winter without snow; sure, it's a dream, but dreams rarely come true. And if they come true, they won't happen the way you expect them to. It's a lie. The protagonist "hope[s] they stay this time" because the snow won't happen; it will always happen at the wrong time. I feel this poem does a good job of portraying the negative feelings we all get waiting for the snow to come.
"I should want a witness so I don't have a tragedy to remember" means that you'll always remember the days you waited for the snow to come, for the breeze yo settle down, and yo get the Christmas you've been waiting for, but it won't happen. You might not get the presents you wanted, but who cares? It's more about the anticipation and waiting for the big day to come when you finally get it, but then you don't get it. Maybe you do get it, but you don't use it as expected. Nevertheless, it will always be a Christmas you remember, even if it doesn't work right and isn't the Christmas you wanted.
This poem does a good job of representing the problems with winter and how it sucks to be in a cold environment. It is also a warning sign to those who had a terrible Christmas and don't want to forget it. 5/5
Alright the 12 Days of Reviewing 2025 have begun. Let’s work from top to bottom of what I can do in the Green Room and hi, Silvern!
Oh… a friendship that didn’t survive the year? ☹I already really like the beginning. I understand the sentiment well of wanting to inform a younger version of me of all the good things yet to come.
Wait, why does Tradition demand that? What tradition? Is this about New Years resolutions? Or because the holidays are… ineffectual?
I like the line abt blood becoming weary. I am also not sure what this means either but it does create an effective image!
And ohh, what does singing death mean? I really like how this basically means that it’s not the winter time but the song and the place that made the lungs feel cold. There is also the implication that the friend…has died over the year and this is the narrators way to reconnect with them? Although I don’t quite believe this interpretation, the “get you on the line” more implies a less drastic disconnect…
Oh that is so sad. To live with regret every second of every day. I like the lines about what shape a heart contorts itself. Even if it expresses the same sentiment!
Oh I got so worried reading the last few lines. There’s this very real feeling of anxiety. A sequel of violence? Maybe the friend really is gone and the narrator contemplates something similar? I mean what could the line about truth finding ribs imply? I really feel like I was not ready for this work!