Young Writers Society

Hey Password, I'm a little late to review this but decided to do it for RevMo. This was a really great short story. It not only delivered an amazing message but also gave a really entertaining read. For being such a short piece it really didn't feel rushed at all. The only problem I have with this is when you say

espite what I've said you need both the dark and the light in your life.

Hello Silver_Lining,

Welcome to YWS, and happy review month! I hope you're enjoying your time here. Let's get started, shall we?

I admit I was not expecting such a short story. I like it. Sometimes, it's challenging for writers to write in a short space, but this story didn't feel rushed. You executed it so well. I got the point, and nothing felt out of place. As @Horisun said, the word choice is great. I love how you describe the darkness as a source of comfort:

The gunshots can't travel though the thick darkness, nor can weapons used in war. In the darkness you are alone, but with hundreds of friends.

Hello there, I hope you are having a grand day or night!
I'm mostly going to cover revisions, because @Lezuli did a really good job with the grammar side of things.
Reading through this, I loved our word choice, especially in the third paragraph, you did a really great job with that!
I also liked how compact this was. This sort of concept works really well when it's short and sweet. You came to deliver a message, and it hit home! (Not to say every piece should be super short, just saying it makes sense here)

However, I do have something to say regarding the last paragraph.
Well it has a good message about keeping balance in life, it did throw me off a bit. You sort of retract your message slightly.
"Though remember to visit the light as well." Why? Throughout the piece, your telling us that light is dangerous, and the dark is better. (Again, in the context of this work)
Also, the ending paragraphs message is that we need to have balance, well a good one, is completely different from the earlier story about the darkness.

That's just my opinion though. Also in my opinion is the fact that overall, this piece was awesome! I really hope to see more writing from you in the future, because this was a fun read! Have a great day!

Hello and welcome to YWS! Though I am but a few months here myself, I hope you enjoy your time here! With that said, I shall commence with the review!
Allow me to start out by saying that I always like stories like this, where light doesn't always equal good and darkness doesn't always equal bad(there's not enough stories like this out there in my opinion). And you did a great job of writing this and showcasing that irregularity between what we're taught and what is reality.
For my suggestions, there are just a few minor grammatical things I noticed, all easy fixes!
#1: 'They tells stories of the monsters'. Here, there doesn't need to be an 's' at the end of tell.
#2: 'is the horrors they happen in the light'. I assume here you meant 'the horrors that happen in the light' instead of 'they happen in the light'.
#3: 'How the light in papery thin', you accidentally used 'in' here instead of 'is'.
#4: 'The darkness though is thick and soft, like warm, cozy blanket'. Two things here. The work would flow better with a comma after 'though' and you need an 'a' between 'like' and 'warm'.
#5: 'and have a fun'. Either that 'a' is misplaced, or you meant to write 'and have a fun time'.
#6: This last one is a personal suggestion, but it might make the ending a little more impactful if at 'Now with all that said' you started a new paragraph.
And that's all I have for you! I hope this helped you!

This is my first work on here, hope you like it!