Young Writers Society

I love the theme of this, it's very true. But I don't think this can be called a poem. You should break down the lines into stanzas, as it would give a much better impression. Then it would be in the format of a poem.
The words are good, anyhow and you obviously have potential. Write more!

Keep it up.

Mysticalxx

Hello Rose!

Perfection...interresting...

This is a hard topic to talk about, but you handled it nicely. It was shirt, which I thought was a shame, prolong it. Tell me more. Tell me about it! Tell me about perfection and its ilusion. Its self image, but also why you think of it that way. It is a hateful thing, and it kills real beauty and invoces pain. So, tell me more.

- Lau.

Hello! Here for a quick review!

I love the idea and message of this poem, I just don't think you executed it very well. I would suggest writing it in stanzas instead of one paragraph. That way, there will be natural pauses in the poem and you can specifically emphasize things that toy want by making them their own line/stanza.

Also, you wrote "no" and I think you meant to say "no one."

The idea of the poem is beautiful, more on similar and related ideas would be awesome! Have a great day!

Hello! Hermione here as requested. I like the idea behind this poem, I'm just not sure that you delivered it in a very effective way. Poems can be written in the format of paragraphs, but I don't think this format helps out this particular poem of yours at all. I would suggest breaking your sentences into lines and stanzas. Here's an example of how I would go about rewriting this in a new format, but whether or not you decide to do it my way is completely up to you:

Perfection is a nonexistent idea
created by man's
self-image,
imagination,
and beliefs.

Really, no person is perfect,
not in looks or actions,
for everyone
has different ideas
of what perfect means.

If I were to give perfection
a more accurate definition,
it would be an illusion of the mind
but also in a way
of man being himself.

{If you decide to break your poem up into lines and stanzas, you'll probably need to play around with this a little and do it the way you want to do it. This is only a suggestion.}

Content: I really don't understand what ending part of you last sentence means. The rest of your poem is crystal clear, and again, I like your message. One thing that I think you should consider trying with this poem is adding a little imagery. Some poetic language. Maybe a metaphor or two to spice it up.

This is a good start. Keep writing!

One thing

I thing you mean no one.... not no is...
Otherwise great! love the short and sweet.

I Completely love this! I can not agree more with you, since the beginning we as humans have created and defined our own beliefs into what we believe is perfection. Yet no one can really give a true definition because one does not exist.

A story, no matter how short it is what we make of it, never loose sight of the chance to create something to be proud of!

I look forward to reading more of your work!

Hello there, and welcome to YWS! cleverclogs here to review!

I like how this well this expresses why perfection isn't attainable. It's very true and I like how you phrased everything. Here are a few grammar mistakes:

So really no is perfect, not in looks or actions for everyone has different ideas.

Perfect, if it were to have a definition would be an illusion of the mind but also in a way man being himself.

I like this, very simple, honest and short. Brings the point across.

I totally agree, nothing is perfect. I personally think the notion shouldn't exist. It creates standards we cannot hope to achieve and will ultimately bring you down.

However, it can change from person to person i think. Peoples ideas of perfection are very different. For example, in a relationship, there may be such admiration for ones partner, that in their eyes the recipient is 'perfect'. Perfect to them, despite any flaws, thats what makes you you.

But yes it is indeed just a notion man has created in order to try and, shall we say, create a new level of excellence for himself. Its unrealistic, and 'non-existant'.

Hope to read more from you soon.

- Scribble