at a weekend campfire, you find it fitting to mention to us that
saturday is a word the color of the flames— orange,
but with promises of gold woven through to brighten it up.
we learn about other orange things too, like vivaldi’s music,
massachusetts, the letter g, and the direction east.
very few things are purple, you tell us, just the number four
and girls’ names ending with y. we ask about our names,
and i learn my other friend’s name is lime green, but navy blue
in the longer form of it that we never call him. mine is like
the red of the shirt i’m wearing, she claims, only more wine-dark.
hers is a soft turquoise, almost melting into an overhead moon gray.
i dream that i wake up that night and shake her out of sleep, asking
what color is love? she responds that love is the color of stars
and before i can ask if she means white or gas-flame blue
or the red of a sun death, she taps each of the freckles on my face,
drawing constellation lines before pointing to the brown of my eyes
and saying love, love, love. i didn’t get to ask for her interpretation,
but if the pain of knowing something was a dream had a color,
i’d say it was the black tucked behind closed eyelids.
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125,028 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Greetings Poet!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a lovely poem titled “Conversations in full HD color” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Very first of all, I must say that you've written a rather beautiful poem and I enjoyed reading it.
Your poem appears to explore an intriguing idea of associating colours with words, names, concepts and certain things. You use vivid imagery to describe how the narrator explores the concept of a colour to express emotions.
You begin with the line:
The speaker is using metaphorical language to describe a day of the week, namely; Saturday. A certain someone decides to share their personal opinion on "Saturday".
"the color of the flames— orange, but with promises of gold woven through to brighten it up."
It's just a lovely description. I mean, don't we all love Saturday's?
Furthermore, the speaker learns about other things too.
But not to mention, purple, very few things are purple, it's described to be rare and associated with "the number four and girls’ names ending with y"
The friends in the poem share their personal colour associations with their names. For example, one friend's name is described as lime green, while navy blue is the longer form of the name.
The poem takes a deeper turn when the narrator dreams of asking their friend about the colour of love. The friend responds with a mysterious answer, well, rather metaphorical answer. She suggests that "that love is the color of stars", and the mention of freckles and the brown of the narrator's eyes adds a personal touch to this poem.
The poem concludes with a reflection on the pain of realising that something was just a dream and dreams, perhaps the pain of realising that it was just a dream is described as black.
A few suggestions: You could consider adding a rhyming touch to the poem, it will definitely create an easier flow. And to make this an easier to read, try to divide your two paragraphs in smaller pieces that rhyme with each other. Capital letters can also help.
Everything in all and all in everything, your poem has true potential and I enjoyed reading it. With a few improvements you could boost the impact of your poem.
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With writer’s love,
Rose
i've always found your poetry absolutely stunning, but this poem especially stands out to me. you have a beautiful poetic voice, keep at it!
thank you!! i've always been in awe of your poetry too and this means a lot to me!
i love this! i have synesthesia, too, so i especially enjoyed reading it. You are an amazing poet, keep writing!
Thank you!! So glad that element of it came through :)
Hi! Cassie here for a review.
<3
Overall Opinion and Review
This was a really great perspective, like honestly stunning. The fact you were able to make stories out of different colors and emotions is extraordinary! Please keep up this pace of writing, you have a lot of potential I think.
My favorite line was
What I'd change
The only thing I'd check is just some of the wording and grammar for example
Instead of that maybe try phrasing it differently or using words that combine together for example,
"but if it's pain and a dream combined into a color, I'd have to say it was the black tucked behind closed eyelids."
Sorry this was a pretty short review, but I really loved it a lot and look forward to seeing more of your style. It's really pretty in my opinion.
See ya!~
Thanks for the review!!