Young Writers Society

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey you beautiful person <3 I thought I'd drop by a review on this lovely poem! c: I'm going to give an overall impression, and then probably do a line by line review.

I think this is super fitting for a New Years poem! I love the way you started out with a darker setting and then slowly progressed into the presence of hope, and you also included the idea of a "battle" -> the light is possible, but it can't come without a fight. I think that's especially fitting for how 2020 has been :p I also love your language; words like "sparks igniting the shadows" brings a really clear image in mind and is really effective. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this poem! c: It's beautiful, full of imagery, and has a storyline (we see a change throughout the poem), so I think this was really well done! ^_^ Not that I'm surprised or anything, since it's coming from you! Now on to more specific comments c:

sometimes the sky is dark

because all the stars are in their eyes—

they shine, undefeated, determined
with promises yet unspoken
and a silent battle song
ready to fight on

and sometimes the dawn fails to come
until the darkness has burned away

with sparks igniting the shadows.
sometimes the sun won't rise
until it's ready to face the night

and let its healing rays cut through
the black ocean of the heavens—

and sometimes all the light needs
is you to lift a torch of hope.

This has a nice story and theme of inspiration to it.

Hello! To kick off this review, I want you to know that I love this poem!! It's beautifully lyrical and full of imagery. Now, let's get to it...

In the first stanza, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this line:

with promises yet unspoken

with sparks igniting the shadows.
sometimes the sun won't rise

Hi SilverNight! I'm here to review this poem for you

One of the main things I love to read is poetry. I find is so lyrical. Anyways, let's get into it! The first stanza automatically catches my attention. You're explaining feelings and descriptions to the reader.

I've realized that this is one of those poems you really need to analyze, which is a good thing. People will interpret poetry differently than others, which in all is a good thing. My interpretation of this work is that sometimes things don't go your way and it's up to you to heal yourself/recover, no matter how depressing and dark things may get.

Not sure if that was you're message or not, but either way, it's a beautiful poem. Keep writing!

Hey, SilverNight! I'm Yoshi, and I'll be reviewing your poem.

Grammatical

Even though you didn't put any commas here, I think it is still important to place commas in their correct places in a sentence. When I make poems, I usually put commas after every line, but everyone's choice of punctuation is different. There should be a comma after: "determined, unspoken, and night".

Also, it seems to be that you chose to neglect the capitalization. If this was a formatting issue, or if it was neglected on purpose, then it's fine.

Other than that, you have no grammatical issues as far as I can see.

Technical

and sometimes the dawn fails to come
until the darkness has burned away
with sparks igniting the shadows.
sometimes the sun won't rise
until it's ready to face the night
and let its healing rays cut through
the black ocean of the heavens—

and sometimes all the light needs
is you to lift a torch of hope.

Hey, Shadow! <3

So, first off, I really like the narration that you've provided in the poem. It's clear, easy to follow, interesting-- I want more because I haven't seen you do too much poetry that I can remember and you're an awesome poet!

Second off, I think your word choice really makes clear your thoughts and feelings regarding the coming of the new year-- especially change. With a new dawn comes a new year, a chance for a brilliant wave of light to overcome all that crap we've dealt with over the past 366 days.

Please, please, please write more poetry!!!!

Have a very happy New Year,
Vilnius <3