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go enjoy your life

by SadboyJay


go enjoy your life

this goes to the people that had gotten bad days

just know that you talented and your not always perfect 

but thats the way

 god made you who you are and never let nobody tell you

your not enough cause god knows its not true

they just mad cause they know that you are beautiful

the way you are, so wipe those tears

just go and have a good day cause you totally 

a unique  person 


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Points: 38
Reviews: 4

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Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:15 am
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Nightk wrote a review...



well this is quite an amazing poem , so simple and digestible a message that speaks for itself, i am not a poetry professional but from my few previous experiences, so i did a few edits with you poem and this is my
edit of the poem

go enjoy your life

this goes to the people that had gotten bad days

know that you talented and your not always perfect

but that's the way

god made you who you are and never let nobody tell you

your not enough cause god knows its not true

they are mad because they know that you are beautiful

the way you are, so wipe those tears.

go and have a good day because you are

a unique person

the thing i noticed with the original poem is that it contains too many adverbs (4 i noticed ). i myself have no problem with adverbs but i think it would be interesting if you keep them on the low.

over all it is an amazing sweet poem.




SadboyJay says...


@Nightk thank you



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184 Reviews


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Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:39 am
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chikara wrote a review...



Aww what a sweet poem <3

Nice message! I see a lot of poetry that focuses on people who are feeling down and then narrate those emotions rather than from the outside looking in. It's always great to see stuff like this because it makes me smile. It doesn't really have much besides that fact that you think people should enjoy their lives, which is fine because this is a shorter poem and it can be harder to make it more than just that sometimes.

your not perfect cause god knows it and i do to


This kind of contradicts the line above I think? If I'm reading it correctly, mostly. I think that if you have two lines mentioned God and how he made the person that way, and then going in to mention they aren't perfect, it's kind of confusing. I think that from a standpoint where you have religious ideas in your poem, it's generally seen that God's creations are perfect in their own special way, which goes against that line.

Then we get into
they just mad cause they know that you are beautiful


Again, I think it's kind of contradictory? It feels like it goes against the line about how the person is not perfect because generally, people that are beautiful are seen as perfect by everyone. That might be what you were going for though, which totally fits what is happening in the poem because what I've gathered from reading it is that it's trying to brighten someone's day or make someone see the good in themselves.

a unique person


Good way to end it! I think the fact that this section is broken away from the other parts of that sentence because it creates a cool effect. Most of the line breaks are like that honestly, which I think is cool because they don't really seen that intentional or you're just good at making poetry seem like it flows naturally like that I guess.

Have a good day! Happy RevMo!
-- chi




SadboyJay says...


@chikara what you mean you still like my poem this was my first poem



chikara says...


yes! it's a good poem! i just think some areas are a little confusing at some points, mostly because of the wording choices~



SadboyJay says...


@chikara is we still cool but thank you through but you should of told me what i needed for my poem cause its my first one



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Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:19 am
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MomoMajesty wrote a review...



Hello jay! This is Momo, with a review. :)

This is a really sweet poem! It's very uplifting and encouraging. I especially liked this line: "they just mad cause they know that you are beautiful." So lovely! On the poetry side of things, you're doing just fine. However, I saw a few grammatical errors, so let me point those out!

Go in enjoy your life

In poetry, uniformity if EVERYTHING. This is the only line that has a capital letter. The poem would look a lot better if you made this a lowercase letter.

just know that you talented and your perfect

Where you say you and your should both be you're.

...and i do to

That should be too.

they just mad cause they know that you are beautiful

The first they should be they're.

just go and have a good day cause you totally

That should be you're.

That's all for now! Amazing job with this poem, and have a happy RevMo!
Momo




SadboyJay says...


@MomoMajesty Momo thank you Momo with all your support




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