Published August 14, 2007
A Band Called "The Fakes"
See me here, see you there
Split by a line but do I care?
So I'll just shout at you from this side
Shut up and listen for once in your life.
Grow up get changed get up off your ASS!
You try to impress them without the class
Get popular by spreading some shit?
This'll destroy you bit by bit
Do you hear me now? Do you understand?
Watch me march to the beat of my own band
Then look at those uptight prissies setting their rules
Think about it this is worse than a million schools
Grow up get changed get up off your ASS!
You'll waste your whole life just to please the mass
The clothes won't do it for you, or the shoes
You'll just end up at a frat party full of booze
You can hate me or you can hate you
This is my last warning and I guess it'll do
Blow me a kiss and wave a goodbye
Or will it be the fake you that'll die?
All I want is for you to be you, is that too much to ask?
Aren't you sick of hiding behind the mask?
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139,374 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Ah... I see.
Besides, is it really them who are setting the rules? Is it fake to her? 
Just things to consider 
:D:D
You need to go into depth with this Hearts. All we can see is the anger, and anger is usually a mask for another emotion.
Why are you so angry at her? We need more reasons than 'preppy' things. We need something real. Does that make sense?
One more thing.... be careful with this:
Do you hear me now? Do you understand?
Watch me march to the beat of my own band
Then look at those uptight prissies setting their rules
Think about it this is worse than a million schools
... because it makes it sound like "I'm better than you," which is not necessarily the case.
Another one of your ramblings which I wish to plaster somewhere in my writing room and on one of my school binders! Please tell me I have permission to do so!
~Monki
I like the idea of the song and you have a very straight forward way in telling what you think, which is good. But I agree with Lynlyn that it needs a bit of work here and there plus I'm not so sure about the title. THe title is good and it fits, but it would be more catchy if it were shorter (Maybe just call it "The fakes"?? I don't know.).
This will make a good rock song!!
Keep it up
Thank you both!
I usually have a better time coming up with lyrics than the melody.
This might as well end up as a rap or something.
Haaha.
This is catchy and would make a good angry rock song, but I'm wondering how much trouble you're going to have with writing music that fits it (unless you've already done it). There are some places where lines are drastically longer than others and have way more syllables than the corresponding line in another stanza. Example:
"You'll waste your whole life just to please the mass" is a lot longer than the line about trying to impress people. If you were singing this in a song, it would be really hard to squish all the words from the second version into the space it took you to sing the first set of words. Does that make sense? I'm not sure I explained that too well.
I'm not sure what "This" is really referring to. Trying to get popular by spreading rumors? Or "this" as in the singer of the song, or the general subject of the song... ? I just think another word might be more fitting there.
This is a fun song because it doesn't try to be anything that it's not (it would be kind of ironic if it did, ha). It's a very simple concept, which is cool. I just think that it might have some problems with the meter if you tried to set it to music, but I guess you can wait until that issue comes up to address it.
Not bad. Sounds like a pretty neat rocker song. Or whatever genre it is.
Rated PG