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Optimism and Our Country of America

by PeanutPhoebe

How are you optimistic about our country's future? When asked that

specific intriguing question, many of us, myself included, would probably say,

"Well, umm...I'm not really." However, to answer that question, we must first

define the meaning of the word optimism. According to the dictionary,

"optimism" is defined as dwelling on the most hopeful and expecting the

best. Briefly, optimism means to have Pollyannaism. So, with that in mind, we

need to realize that although it may not seem as if there is a lot going on in our

country to be optimistic about, we should cheerfully look to the future and

believe that God will work out the best in all circumstances.

One reason that I am optimistic about our country is because of the

foundation that we stand on. Our country was founded with the best of intents

by patriotic men and women who wished to be a free nation under God. Having

recently comemerated 9/11, we watched the Twin Towers crash to the ground

after being hit by the two planes. However, when they tumbled down, the

foundations still stood. The same is with America. The work of those same men

and women will always remain. The foundation that was created by them shows

how they desired our country to be, which reveals the direction we need to steer

it. Because of all of this, we should faithfully believe that America will continue to

stay upright, but if it does fall, the U.S. can be rebuilt from the beginning

foundations. That reconstruction, if it is unfortunately necessary, will not only be

done by adults citizens living in America, but also by the younger generation,

the youth.

Another reason for all of us, as Americans, to be optimistic for our

country is because of the youth. Teenagers and young adults around the states

are beginning to realize that we have a voice in the U. S., no matter how small it

may be. We, as citizens of America, are beginning to exercise our voice to

speak out against the mistakes of leaders and residents in our country. Young

adults have started to use that voice to change the U. S. to the way it was meant

to be by those very men and women. No matter how young we are, the

adolescents in America should speak out and be an example showing others

how to obey God and guide our country the right and narrow way; that in itself

gives a reason to be optimistic for the United States' future. Our youth possess

the ability to turn this country around to the way God wanted it to be.

This is the optimism that we should have for our country. These things we

cannot forget: We, like the Twin Towers, will always have a strong foundation

that can be built upon, and not only that, but the rising generation is now able to

influence the United States in a way that has never been possible before.

Although we may not realize it, the United States of America still has a chance to

change the future, and that is why we need to be optimistic. No matter how

much we are stumbling, America STILL stands.

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61 Reviews

Points: 7583
Reviews: 61

Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:28 pm
FireFox wrote a review...

Hey, there, Peanut! Fantastic essay! FireFox here to review your piece on behalf of the Apple Dumpling Gang! How are ya'?

Needs Improvement:
1. Though I saw no spelling or grammar mistakes, that's not to say that there are none. I certainly could have missed them. But that is not something to dwell on until the final draft of your essay, so no worries!

2. For some reason, the ending seemed rather abrupt, as if you had to cut it short for some reason. Was there a word limit? It feels unfinished. There are certainly more reasons as to why we, as Americans, should be optimistic in regards to our country, so share more with us! I feel that elaborating more and including more reasons will show your reader how strongly you really feel about the topic. The more reasons you include, the more your readers can connect with your essay! Admittedly, it is oftentimes tougher to get readers to connect with an essay as opposed to prose or a narrative, but it can be done.

3. The structure of the piece is kind of distracting. Perhaps it's just the spacing and how the lines are kind of staggered. That is an easy fix.

Overall, this is a wonderful essay, certainly A material. I love your juxtaposition of the Twin Towers vs. America - that was very powerful and set the stage for the rest of the piece. I enjoyed this very much. I agree with every point you made, and especially like your point about the youth of America. Well done, kiddo!


PeanutPhoebe says...

Hey thanks!! This is the final draft of th essay, but YWS didn't want to cooperate with me as far as the formatting:/ I did have a time limit (since this was oral). But thanks for the review!!

FireFox says...

Understandable! My pleasure! :)

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141 Reviews

Points: 3175
Reviews: 141

Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:10 pm
Daisuki wrote a review...

Hey Peanut! Nice essay!
When I tried to write mine, I went and looked up some of the winner's speeches just to get a feel of what other people did. While I liked how you defined optimism and I think it was an important part of that paragraph, just keep in mind that a lot of people have done that before, and the judges may see it as "same old, same old." Also, you should probably say what dictionary you got the definition from, instead of just "the dictionary."

The only part where I really had trouble was, "The work of those same men and women will always remain." For some reason I felt that sentence needed a little more because I didn't know if you were referring to the men and women of America, or the men and women who built the twin towers or what. So I would suggest adding something like, "The work of those same men and women who _________ will always remain." Something like that.

Anyways, I liked how you acknowledged in the beginning that most people would give a negative answer to the question of optimism, I think that's realistic.

Good essay, I hope you do well.


PeanutPhoebe says...

Hey!! Thanks for the review!! I see what you mean about that part. I'd love to change it, but I'm afraid I've already sent it in. *crosses fingers* I should have thought of posting it before I changed it. Grr... Oh well

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50 Reviews

Points: 2243
Reviews: 50

Fri Nov 01, 2013 7:05 am
GigiHarris wrote a review...

Hey PeanutPhoebe :)
I love your essay :)
I'm not a. American but I'm an patriot so I know how you feel :) Go America!
And yes, it's us, the teenagers and young adults who really has the voice but it's a shame that a huge percentage of adolescents are choosing the wrong path. But hey, let's be optimistic and believe that our nations will be the greatest of them all :)
And yes, it sounds really good when read aloud. So I think audio was a clever choice.
Best of luck!

PeanutPhoebe says...

Thanks for the encouragement!! I hope to at least advance past local.

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187 Reviews

Points: 13001
Reviews: 187

Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:34 pm
PeanutPhoebe says...

the formatting isn't the way it was when I previewed it!! grr...

Poetry lies its way to the truth.
— John Ciardi