This is Yams here for a review!
The first thing I thought that this was actually just a writing blurb instead of a poem, the way it's formatted. Maybe you could put it into actual stanzas or shorter stanzas? To be honest, this reminds me of just three paragraphs.
The boy Awaits the midnight star lights, that covers the sky like a infinite ocean of concealed mystery, showing only what needed to be seen but have a distance between each light. He hopes to see god who lives beyond the clouds unbound to life and beyond death….
"Awaits" should have a lowercase a at the beginning of it unless you accidentally messed up your formatting, nonetheless, it still feels awkward with "The boy" and then just going onto "Awaits" In the first sentence I think you should chop it up into more sentences as it's long. And at the end with the "...." you could leave that out as it feels awkward.
You don't capitalize "God" but I feel like you should if you're speaking of only one god or your monotheistic. But personally, I don't know what God you're talking of as I don't know your religion, I'm agnostic and do not believe in God but he is a proper noun to most that do believe in him.
In the second paragraph you use the word "his father" three times and it gets tiring, along with the word "star".
In the whole thing it feels like you're just stating the same thing over and over "waiting for his father to say goodnight" and "forever saying goodnight and goodbye" talking about receiving messages from "his father" from the stars. It all feels like you've already said all of it in the first paragraph.
Have a great day!
just wanted to say i liked your poem even though it was a tad short. You managed to bring out the message across perfectly, well done 
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
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