Hi there! I'm Orabella, here with a quick review. ^^
Ooh, this is a really cool song! Did you actually make a tune for it? If so, I hope I can hear it one day.
One thing I'd suggest is to add a little bit more variety. For example, songs usually have a chorus, but they also have verses that help break it up, and tell the overall story or feeling they were trying to convey. In this poem, almost every other line is the same, and it might feel a little repetitive, especially in the form of a song. That's just my opinion though, and as I'm a little impatient.
On the other hand, though, I kind of like the repetitiveness; it forms a kind of beat in my head that I can imagine as I'm reading, and my mind even made up a little tune, knowing it was a song.
I also love your use of rhyming in this poem; the rhymes fit so well with each other, and I just love that! They don't feel forced, which I great, and I think if you made a rhythm for the song, the lines would match up really well! That coupled with the rhyming makes this so cool - how did you make it all fit together so nicely??
The subject of the lyrics is really cool too, and I love the message. I think this is my favorite line:
An' when our wars break out with a big boom, our spring flowers will still bloom.
Not only is it super poetic and beautiful; it's also accurate! We can fight our wars and have our arguments, but at the end of the day, the flowers will bloom again, and I love the way you portrayed this so much.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing! I love this song, and it, again, has such a beautiful message, and it's really uplifting! Have an amazing day/night, wherever you are in the world, and keep writing!
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