z

Young Writers Society


16+

In the Hands of Six 1.2

by Omni


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

The first thing that rushed back to life was the ringing in his ears. It was replaced with a sort of sucking and wind sound, like he, and everything around, were stuck in an endless, annoying vacuum.

Feeling arrived next, with its foreign sense of stretching and pulling his skin right off his body. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it reminded him that he was still alive.

Smell and taste arrived almost simultaneously, as the books mentioned. The wonderful scent of burnt rubber filled his nostrils and coated his throat like slime.

This all felt like it lasted a thousand years, but only happened in a split second. In a last ditch attempt, Wong stepped through dimensions and arrived fairly unscathed.

Dimension jumping was a talent Wong himself had never mastered, nor had he ever attempted to. He was not the kind of sorcerer to worry about such things as alternate realities or different universes. He could count how many times he hopped through and between dimensions on one hand.

And this was one of them.

Finally, Wong forced his eyes open, and he was back behind the globe, in the back room of the library. He was back at his old training place, Kamar-Taj, and everything felt similar. It felt like his home. However, this was not his world. This globe was not the one he was touching just moments ago. The library behind him was not the place he spent hundreds and thousands of hours pouring over each word and even more hours safeguarding.

He was not safe here; he was here on a mission.

A sudden wave of nausea surged through him, and he stumbled to a nearby desk. This was not a symptom of dimension walking. He slumped into a chair to catch his breath. As he slowed his inhales, something caught his attention on his skin. His forearm glistened with sweat and looked course. He rubbed his hand across it and it came away covered in dust. His arm didn't feel wrong at all, but something was wrong.

Did he not manage to escape the wrath of the Infinity Stones?

He rubbed the area again, and much more dust followed, billowing into the air around him. He let out a soft gasp and prodded the area around it. He felt nothing wrong. No... that wasn't quite right. He felt nothing.

Summoning a small spell, Wong encased his forearm in magic and gingerly rose from his seat.

"Wong?"

The New York Sanctum door shut behind a tall, dark-skinned sorcerer. Daniel Drumm.

Wong stood, holding his magic-covered arm behind him. "Master Drumm, what a surprise," he said. Especially since you're dead in my universe. He kept that information to himself. While most Masters of the Mystic Arts knew of dimensional travel, it was also something extremely controversial within much of the higher-ups, Wong included.

With access to something as powerful as the Mystic Arts, possibilities are unlocked that were previously only thought as extreme fiction. However, the more possibilities that were opened and explored, the more dangerous and convoluted the responsibilities of those who wielded the powers became. When something as absolutely incomprehensible as traveling between universes was revealed to be possible, many were against it. The amount of potentially paradoxical outcomes that sprouted from that magic were far too high to count and improbable for even the most experienced Masters.

Wong cleared his throat. He had to tread carefully here. Drumm was a Master trained as a warrior first and a scholar second, something extremely rare in Kamar-Taj. Wong, who had spent most of his years absorbing and recollecting information, was no match for Drumm, if it came to that.

He hoped it wouldn't. But, Wong couldn't even begin to understand what his double did in this universe.

Drumm inched closer, his hands clasped behind him. "I would actually say the same thing to you, Wong. You know you are no longer allowed in this section of the library." Wong gulped. He needed to leave here, and quickly.

His anger rose suddenly, encompassing all coherant thoughts. "I thought no knowledge is forbidden in Kamar-Taj, only certain practices, Master Drumm."

Drumm's face contorted to a frown. "You, of all people, should know that that isn't true anymore. Not since our last Sorcerer Supreme."

Wong's mind cleared and his anger sunk to ice cold nervousness. He didn't even want to ask who the new Sorcerer Supreme was. He knew changes would be impossible to avoid when dimension walking. Of course he had to jump to the dimension where he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Wong nodded, trying to keep his cool. "Of course, I must have forgotten. I'll be leaving right this moment. Good day, Master Drumm."

"Of course, Wong." Drumm nodded his assent.

Wong turned around slowly, careful to move his forearm in such a way that his body still covered it. He crept along to the hallway.

"Wong?"

Wong thought a mystic curse rather loudly in his head. Without turning, he replied, "Yes, Drumm?"

"That's Master Drumm, Wong." He could hear Drumm's voice inching closer. He bit back his retort; it was obvious that Wong was no longer a Master of the Mystic Arts in this reality. "Wong, are you attempting to steal something from this library?"

"What has brought you to that conclusion, Master Drumm?"

Drumm scoffed. "I am not unobservant, Wong. Show me your arm."

Wong relented, turning around and holding out his forearm. "I do not steal from this place, Drumm. I do not know what he has done in this past, but I am not him."

Drumm gasped at the encased forearm. He grabbed it and inspected it thoroughly. "What kind of magic have you gotten yourself into, Wong?"

"Nevermind that, Drumm. I need to know something before I leave. Is your Sorcerer Supreme Doctor Strange?"

Drumm released the arm. "Doctor Strange?"

"Steven Strange is his actual name, but he refuses to go by any other title."

"I have never heard that name in my life, Wong. Clearly, you must know that Master Kaecilius is our Sorcer-" he stopped. "You've been dimension hopping. Yes, why didn't I notice it before? the Bom'Galliath resonates on your skin. That is a parlor trick meant only for novices to the art. What have you gotten yourself into, Wong?" He trailed off, deep in thought.

"Something disastrous has happened in my universe, Drumm. Do not tell anyone of what I have just explained, least of all Kaecilius. I need to find Doctor Strange."

Drumm stepped back, fear in his eyes. "You know not what you plan to do, Wong. Traveling through dimensions in quick succession..."

"I know exactly what I must do." Wong prepared another dimensional rift, this time better suited for him than a simple message. "If the magic on my forearm is what I believe it to be, I will be dead no matter what I do." 


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174 Reviews


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Thu Jul 19, 2018 8:06 am
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soundofmind wrote a review...



I'M FINALLY HERE TO REVIEW AND FORGIVE ME IF IT IS bADD but HI

WONG'S NOT DEAD!! I WAS WONG!! HAHA. BUT ANYWAY. I like Wong. Wong is good. I like how you write him - just to say ditto to killeham.

His forearm glistened with sweat and looked course.

Teeny thing. I think you meant coarse???

With access to something as powerful as the Mystic Arts, possibilities are were unlocked that were previously only thought as extreme fiction.

Honestly... I don't have issue with this paragraph really. It's interesting and helpful and I don't mind it where it is, but I'm also one opinion of many, so take my opinion with a heaping dose of salt.

But okay so... I really don't have a lot to say about this chapter because I really liked it actually? You can feel the intensity and the time-running-out feels very tangibly in Wong's inner dialogue and I like how you describe him being nervous and trying to step around things that could lead Drumm on to what he's doing (of course, Drumm finds out eventually but, yeah lol). I also like how I can like... read this in Wong's voice. Like, the actor, anyway, I mean. Lol.

Also OooOOOOOOoOO I think it's super interesting that Kacellius is the Master with a BIG M in this alternate universe he hops to. And since it's so opposite to Wong's own universe I kind of wonder... how this will affect the rest of the story? Is this foreshadowing? Will one of the characters who is bonded to a stone be in this universe? Or is there no real significance to Kacellius being a Master?? hMMMMM!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OMNOM?? U got me curious.

Okay anyway I liked this and it was interesting and fun to read and I'm sorry I don't have anything better right now but big hugs and good job. <3 <3 I'll try to get to the next bit soooooon




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Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:45 pm
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keystrings wrote a review...



Hi Omnom!

You've got me actually reviewing, wow.

I like how you've written Wong. He seems to be like a pretty straight-forward guy, and that's cool of him to try saving the world. I feel for him especially after he realized he wasn't doing so hot. Good for him. I'm waiting for a total freakout at least mentally though, maybe right when he actually meets Dr. Strange? I think anyone wouldn't be too calm once they've reached what they wanted to do and y'know, are just gonna die again. Yikes.

A couple of other things I wonder about in this chapter is maybe describing how the library wasn't the same one, even by like saying the air felt different, or something or another? That would help the reader picture this new dimension and compare to how the movies depicted the library.

Also, I do agree with Biscuits on that "With access to something..." paragraph interrupting the flow of the chapter. I find that interesting, but I don't know if it works where it is.

First off, I'm feeling iffy about this sentence:

Feeling arrived next, with its foreign sense of stretching and pulling his skin right off his body. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it reminded him that he was still alive.


Having "feeling" in consecutive lines makes me pause, and I think "but it reminded" is kind of implied, or maybe you could rewrite that a little? I do like the ironic tone that brings with him later realizing he's dying, but I'm not sure.

Also -
He was not safe here; he was here on a mission.

I don't see how these two lines are truly linked, in the sense of the semicolon there. I'd rather have one part or the other, as they bring different tones to me at least. Maybe put "He was not safe here" in the previous paragraph to go along having to acknowledge this is literally a different world? I'm not sure.

Overall, I like how you characterize Wong and the dialogue flowed nicely. I'll try to review the next chapter soon XD. Hope this review helped!




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Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:43 pm
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ExOmelas wrote a review...



Hi Omni, you're first up on my tour of LMS chapter 2s today!

Nit-picks:

In a last ditch attempt, Wong stepped through dimensions and arrived fairly unscathed.

This is kind of a confusing thing to say. It had sounded like he'd already succeeded, that this was his senses returning to him after having been somewhere Else. But then all of a sudden he's not only not succeeded yet, but it sounds like he's doing very badly, then senses coming back begin to logically follow as symptoms of something bad, which seems odd.

However, the more possibilities that were opened and explored, the more dangerous and convoluted the responsibilities of those who wielded the powers became. When something as absolutely incomprehensible as traveling between universes was revealed to be possible, many were against it.

I don't think it's necessary to go into quite so much detail here. All of the information you provide in this paragraph is fairly expected of the discovery of such power, and it just slows down the action.

He needed to leave here, and quickly.

This is also fairly self-explanatory.

"Steven Strange is his actual name, but he refuses to go by any other title."

Wait, this is a Marvel thing I maybe don't know. Is Strange actually a doctor, or does he just insist on that? If he's actually a doctor, probably not that big a deal to want to be addressed by your proper title.

Overall:

I continued to have a good sense of who Wong is here, especially how brave he is, and it seems to be quite a quiet, understated bravery. It makes it feel like a big deal that he is someone who would be banned from a library in this universe. Maybe this could have felt more gut-wrenching for Wong, rather than just irritating - that there could be a version of himself so far removed from who he wanted to be?

The introduction of the new character also worked, well, very believable dialogue and such. Maybe have his physical description spread out a bit more so that you can emphasise details about him that intimidate Wong, or affect him in some other sort of way? Would just be a way to make the fabric of the story feel alive.

Only other thing is that it seems unlikely anyone would believe the story that he forgot he was banned, which is what seemed to be happening until Drumm noticed his arm. If he's in such disrepute, I feel like the punishment would have been a lot stricter.

Good pacing and stakes though, still very much an engaging storyline.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)





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