PART. II. GREED
Every time when I am visualizing you in my mind the number of sinful images that my head creates becomes enormous.
G-ive me a good reason to suppress my obsession of your halo and stop making up the pictures of the place where we could encounter. I know I am not there. I am not even near. However it might be even better.
R-hythm of my heartbeat and pulse is getting rapid every moment I picture you being among other people who can see and hear you, slightly touch your hand, give you a smile and feel your scent. Inexplicable feeling of greediness gains the upper hand of mine whenever I hear inside your talk or laughter meant to be for others. Not for me.
E-ven if you seem to take no notice of all goddesses that are flying around you like colorful butterflies putting their charming spells on you being polite and friendly I will still be greedy. Greedy for your glances, reflections on your face and all gestures and postures of yours.
E-verything falls apart when I am not able to take control of this destructive feeling that I am so fully plunged in. I wish I would not have to share you with the waitress offering you a cup of coffee or the boss sending you for the errands or anyone else. In your circle. In your place. In the whole world.
D-espair and greed do not bring happiness and comfort, I should admit. They only make me realize how imperfect I am. For you. For the world. For the Heavens. For myself.
So painful to realize that greediness is only the second vice in the list of my personal sins. Sins for the sake of yours.