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12+

Left on read

by NastyMajesty


hello!
how ya been?
it's been awhile
since i've seen that sweet smile

read 4 months ago at 3:52 PM

hi! 
i just wanted to check in
i haven't seen that face - that sight
i just wanted to make sure that you're alright

read 3 months ago at 10:12 AM

um... are you alive?
i've been worried
we haven't talked in forever
are you feeling under the weather?

read 2 months ago at 9:03 PM

hello?
are you okay?
truth is, i really miss you
...wondering if you do too?

read 1 month ago at 10:18 PM

hey
it's been a really long time
i'm wondering if you're there
do you still even care?

read 2 weeks ago at 12:08 PM

...hi
i'm still here
with fear
i'm sad
and worried that you're feeling bad
i'm your friend
i'll be with you 'til the end

but do you want me to be?

you're acting really cold
but i'll still be here if you need a hand to hold

read 1 week ago at 4:56 PM

after all the tears i've shed
you still leave me on read

read 5 days ago at 3:22 PM

If you want, I'll go
because that's what you seem to show
i really only want to talk
but if you want, i can just take a walk
i'll be here... if you need a hug
but really, i don't wanna bug
we're farther away than ever
it's sad to remember
that we used to be birds of a feather

i don't know what to do
but you seem like you want me to shoo

read 2 days ago at 11:26 AM

after all i've bled
you still leave me on read...

read 1 day ago at 3:51 PM

i really don't understand
so please...
                  PLEASE
                                ...just text me when you can...

read just now


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63 Reviews


Points: 685
Reviews: 63

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Wed Dec 09, 2020 12:36 am
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NastyMajesty says...



so apparently he always missed the messages and felt awkward replying to them an hour later... *sigh* all this stress and anxiety. only because his phone is broken and doesn't give him notifs for anything




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73 Reviews


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Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:51 am
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A very heartfelt and realistic poem




NastyMajesty says...


Aww thank you <3



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117 Reviews


Points: 11681
Reviews: 117

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Mon Dec 07, 2020 2:27 pm
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LUNARGIRL wrote a review...



Wow, this is an amazing poem! The feeling is horrible when you just want to talk to a friend that you haven't seen in a while. But they never rely to any of your texts even though it says read. You just want to know that they are alright and let them know you are always there for them.

I loved how the texts started to come more often as the person got more worried about their friend. That in every text the person gets more and more unsure of if thy are still friends and what the person should do.

My favorite part was the last two messages that the person sent. The person is so concerned and worried, at at the end it's kind of like they lost hope that their friend will ever respond to their messages.
"read 2 days ago at 11:26 AM

after all i've bled
you still leave me on read...

read 1 day ago at 3:51 PM

i really don't understand
so please...
PLEASE
...just text me when you can...

read just now"


Your poem had great flow throughout it, but one thing I have to say is that at this part. "it makes me sad to think that we used to be birds of a feather." It just feels very lengthy and like a run on sentence because all your other lines are much shorter than this. This is just my opinion so feel free to not pay attention to it.

Overall, I really loved this poem! Your theme is probably something that many people have faced. All you want to do is check on your friend but they never respond even though it says read. Your poem had a great flow and it was amazing. Can't wait to read wait you write next!

Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL




NastyMajesty says...


Thank youuuu ! (: yes, I'm gonna try to fix that birds of a feather thing later



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66 Reviews


Points: 10
Reviews: 66

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Mon Dec 07, 2020 1:32 am
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LordMomo says...



I love this so muchhhhhh <3<3<3<3<333




NastyMajesty says...


awww thank youuu <3



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Points: 60
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Mon Dec 07, 2020 12:38 am
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Sai9 wrote a review...



Wow! that's so creative pal and the rhymes come off super smoothly. Honestly I don't have anything constructive to say that hasn't already been said but hehe I want review points and I thought your poem was really good so. I don't want to be critical of your poem since it's really good Although, you should also remember that you can throw out rhyming whenever you feel like. But you probably know that, just thought I would mention it.




NastyMajesty says...


Yep! thanks for the review ;) and late welcome to YWS <3 (:



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25 Reviews


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Sun Dec 06, 2020 10:36 pm
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FireEyes wrote a review...



How? HOW? I love how realistic this is. You want to check up on someone who you haven't talked to in a while but they just ghost you. You know they read what you have said and you expect a reply but they don't give it to you. Anything, any reply, would calm your nerves. You just want to see if they are okay but they don't let you know. This reminds me of my personal experience with hmmm you know who. But instead of the person blowing up on you, you don't get anything. But you are persistent because you need to know if they are okay. You would feel guilty for not at least trying to check in, but not being given a response hurts even more. And you think the worst of what could happen to them, you think they died (well at least I do), but they leave you on read. They read what you have to say but don't care enough to respond to you. Not even a, "I don't want to talk to you," no, just nothing. Again, you made me cry. I should make some sort of award for you.
On the topic of the writing, I feel like if you only capitalized the first letter of a stanza and 'I' that would get the message across that you are texting. And the first stanza when you said "Its been awhile," awhile should be "a while." But the poem is emotional, beautiful, and great. You truly have a way with words. Anyway byeeee <3.




NastyMajesty says...


thank youuuuu <3<3<3



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317 Reviews


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Sun Dec 06, 2020 10:00 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



Hello there! As you can most likely guess, I’m here to review this poem!
This poems pattern was incredible. I loved how the texts slowly came more and more often. And the “Read just now” at the end was like a stab in the heart. I also love the way how the speaker becomes more and more unsure in their texts. The little details in this are just perfect.
I do have one, itty bitty nitpick. I felt that the line;
“it makes me sad to think that we used to be birds of a feather“
Was a bit of a mouthful, and I had to reread it a couple times.
Other than that, I adored this! This was an incredible poem, and I loved everything about it! Have a great day, ad keep on writing!




NastyMajesty says...


Thank youuu! I'll try to shorten it a bit more



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Sun Dec 06, 2020 9:33 pm
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lillianna says...



i really like this one i almost cried




NastyMajesty says...


aw <3 glad you liked it




Prometheus, thief of light, giver of light, bound by the gods, must have been a book.
— Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves