Cobalt blue flames flicker in the darkness.
They are dimming.
Slowly.
In their faint light I see a battlefield.
I see the silhouette of a woman.
Her silver crown catches the flames light.
"Find him," she commands.
Another silhouette nods and skitters away.
The vision fades.
Another appears.
A man slams his cup on a table.
His face bears the scars of battle.
His arm in a sling.
"Queen Ombra? Searching for me?" he scoffs. "Not possible. Everyone thinks I'm dead."
"Your Majesty. Leaving your sword on a battlefield does suggest your survival."
The king scoffs again. "Leave. I have more important things to do."
The king fades away.
A final vision appears.
A girl.
A girl with the flaming wings of a phoenix.
Her eyes are a brilliant blue.
She's scared.
"Aithne, are you coming?" a woman asks.
The girl shakes her head. "I can't."
"Why can't you?"
"They'll kill me. Just like I killed them."
The woman hesitates. "Aithne. Dead people can't hurt you."
"But I see them," the girl insists. "In the night."
The woman mutters something about Aithne being crazy.
The girl sits down in a corner and wraps her fiery wings around herself.
"They'll kill me," she insists. "I know they will."
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140,457 Literary Works • 673,229 Reviews
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Hello, the great and glorious Mrytle! This I, Junebug, here with yet another joyous review!
Shall we commence the feast?
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is a glorious continuation of the "Visions" story. I love how you seem to be writing this story out in poems instead of chapters, it makes it all the more magical. Here, through Visions, we see three different people and get glimpses into their complicated lives. There's Queen Ombra, who seems to be hunting someone on the run. There's a King who has faked his death and is hiding from the Queen. And then there's Aithne, who is haunted by the people she killed.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I have no critiques thus far, your writing is great!
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
The descriptions of this poem are so very beautiful!
Some lines that I thought were great are:
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Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
You have built the perfect foundation for more of this story, you kept me hooked the entire time and I can't wait to read more!
Thank you, have a good day/night, and be safe!