Young Writers Society

@RandomTalks

Thank you very much for your review! And I hope that it isn´t too much filler, this whole chapter is more dedicated to Claire, Daphne and Claire´s father. But I needed to make the friendship grow, so the first parts are a bit of fast and slow moments.

Hey Mailice!

RadomTalks here with a short review!

So I wrote this entire review without logging in and then deleted the entire thing while trying to copy it and now its lost because I was not logged in, and I have to write the entire thing again. Its happened to me twice this day, and one would think I would learn something from the first time. Anyways, let's move on to the review (again!).

This was another filler accompanying the one we got in the previous chapter. It is not necessarily a bad thing and I quite enjoy these moments of freshness when we simply get to be with the characters without any great big turmoil lurking around the corner. Besides, Claire seems to have gotten over her bad mood from the previous part and we see her more alive and free than we have in a while. She deserved this break and it turns out, she is enjoying it as well.

I loved the descriptions scattered around the entire part. They constitute half of the main content in this part and make for good world-building as well. I always love how your descriptions are not simply just descriptions. They speak volumes about the place, their people and their cultures and habits. You paint really vibrant pictures in front of our eyes and it helps us to imagine and visualize all the new places you introduce in the story. It also makes us feel connected in a way that almost feels personal. Besides, it give us an idea of what Claire thinks of each place as well. Because, we are always seeing through her eyes and reading her thoughts, it helps us understand how she is reacting not only to the events and people in her life, but to the various places as well.

"Touché." smiled Daphne, "I'll probably come to your aunt's restaurant at some point."

"SeelenherzInc. Wasn't that clear to you from Mr. Neumann's explanations?"

It was a spontaneous idea on the part of the piano player to tune a melody.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...so we've got ourselves some proper sort of filler here...which honestly I think Claire probably deserves, so its a fun break after that scarier moment in the previous chapter and it seems perhaps Claire will get a bit of relief for the moment at least until I'm sure somewhere in the next two parts things take a turn once more.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Unbelievable."

If you visit Berlyne, you can't get past Angelboulevard. At least for those who can afford it.

The four-lane road with the central reservation studded with birch trees and a few tulip meadows, the imposing underground railway station, and the arcades leading north for about a mile turned the former centre of the merchant town of Apex into a powerful empire for the rich.

Carriages and horses between cars and people. What impressed Claire more was the colossal building in front of them.

The department stores' chain A. Krinksdorf & Co. was a guarantee for quality and for high prices. There was nothing they did not sell. The five floors with their countless employees and articles ranged from jewellery for the little ones to luxury lamb filets for the big ones.

The first department store stood on Angelboulevard. It was known throughout the Free Duchy. People even heard about it beyond the borders. Because of its mighty monumental dimensions, the variety of products as well as the inner-building forest landscape, one could spend one's entire day and monthly salary there.

It was modern and timeless, chic yet a bit sparse. The department store was overwhelming. Claire would have loved to run through the wide aisles like a little child so as not to miss anything. When Adolf Krinksdorf gave a sketch to his architect, he already had a precise idea of how the house should eventually look.

For Claire, buying something expensive was out of the question. Her budget was limited if even forbidden in this house. Daphne showed her several pieces, all equally beautiful but very pricey. Even her aunt would not have been able to afford something like that, the niece was sure.

It wasn't long before she had found a more youthful, casual dress. The lively fabric transformed the mood. A positive mood grew. Also, the price was in a good class.

Daphne insisted on putting on the newly bought one immediately.

But no bed was bought. Claire was a bit awkward having someone lying next to her. A few times Claire had woken up knowing that someone was lying a few inches away from her. Not wanting to wake her, she didn't move. This made her wonder how married people slept together where the husband had to go to work early in the morning.

"I come here almost every week. Sometimes they're open late at night, you'll see some famous actors in that café over there," Daphne blathered.

"I've never been to a picture palace before."

"You're missing out, Claire. We have to go there."

"All right."

She took a sip of tea attentively.

"Where do you work?"

"SeelenherzInc. Wasn't that clear to you from Mr. Neumann's explanations?"

"No. I... I didn't think you would work there."

"Where else?"

Claire blushed.

"I thought you were rich. After... after all this morning."

Daphne let out a childish laugh.

"I may have a million in a bank, but I haven´t gotten them yet."

Claire grinned awkwardly.

"Shall we go to the zoo later? They're having an ethnological exposition at the moment."

"That sounds fun."

"Surely it represents a reality according to Sagauvelian beliefs," Daphne surmised as they went to the bears.

"Hm. How do these people see us?"

"They don't know we exist. If explorers didn't push into the wilderness, they wouldn't know a modern world existed."

"That may well be possible."

She had a question on the tip of her tongue when they visited the lions. It was not so easy to find a moment to talk about it. The question was based on an inferential background for herself.

With the zoo behind them, they took to their heels to walk back. Actually, Claire would have preferred to take the train, as she had to carry some bags. Daphne helped her; at the same time, they were getting closer to the industrial area. The clouds were getting gloomier and it stank of exhaust fumes.

To understand the layout of Greater Berlyne, Claire did not have to do much research. Her sister's gift was tucked away in her suitcase and offered a history, a development of the city's area, and a statistical reference book.

Back on Angelboulevard, one could not notice anything of the factories, although they were closer.

"...pumpkin soup is delicious. I especially like it in autumn,” Daphne explained.

"Pumpkins are those plump, orange balls?”

"They come in many colours and shapes. Have you never tried pumpkin soup?"

"No."

"But your aunt has a restaurant?"

“Yeah, but she's more into salads and meat."

"Pumpkins are delicious. You know what? We're going to buy a pumpkin! That's perfect for when autumn starts! I already know where we'll get it, too."

Mrs. Schneider waited for them at the stairs. She was praying to herself. Daphne told Claire not to react too much to what they heard because she was an old crank. She owned the attic flat from where she watched over the courtyard. Claire didn´t like her because of what happened yesterday. Still, she was pretty anxious about the thought, that this old woman had a key to every flat in the house.

There Claire stood before it again. The piano was enveloped in a sublime aura that exuded a sweet aroma. While Daphne fetched the drinks, the young Silberlilie felt the urge to take a seat on the piano bench. Only to hold the position and touch it felt unspeakable.

Only privileged people could afford the grandest of instruments. She was ready to pick up the lid. The delicate fingerprints on the black prompted Claire to follow her heart. The white and black keys beckoned with their sounds to give birth to a symphony. Her legs approached the pedals.

Daphne's disappointment was greater than Claire's.

It was a spontaneous idea on the part of the piano player to tune a melody. The disturbing thing was not the pain-filled music, but that Daphne was sitting right next to her as her fingers repeated yesterday's miracle play.

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Well, this was a pretty good part we had here, I quite enjoyed reading it but I wonder about how necessary this part actually is. So, Daphne and Claire are already quite good friends as we can see from this chapter. However, I think that this part is unnecessary to some extent but yeah, it's completely up to you what you want to do with it- keep it or remove it. The main thing which made me think that it's unnecessary is the sole purpose of this part. As far as I could see, we had some world-building here and with that, Claire came to know where Daphne works. If I am not much mistaken, both of these can be done elsewhere, at least this work one. This part kind of felt irrelevant, I don't exactly know why.

Anyway, let me just review it thinking that it will be as it is. I liked the humour in this part. In general also, I like these humorous parts put intermittently among the more serious ones and as it stands, nothing much generally happens in these humorous parts. That's a thing. I liked reading the beginning, specifically, the part where we saw Claire's thoughts and her reactions towards all these new changes in her life. Hm... So, Claire hasn't really forgotten about her aunt and all her relatives. That's a pretty good point we had here. She is actually gonna meet her father. Also, I just noticed the name of this chapter. I don't know how I managed to oversee it but that name kind of suggests that this chapter is going to be based entirely on Claire and Daphne. So, no meeting perhaps. But it is going to be interesting if both of them somehow meets Claire's father. I am kind of convinced that Daphne actually doesn't know that Claire is Benedikt's daughter. I am indeed a bit afraid that I will be proved wrong later on but... Hopefully, not.

Well, the review is getting jumbled up. Very good! Hm... I wonder what Claire actually thought after Daphne told him that she works at SeelenherzInc. Did she not connect it with her father? Hm... if yes, excellent and if no, besides bad luck, I would say that it definitely has something to do with the fact that the comapny is a very large one.So... maybe she didn't interconnect it. Everything is possible.

Oh, the last portion was intriguing. I sometimes wonder if music really has something to do with the actual plot of the story. Like there's music in a lot of places in the story. Perhaps, it has something to do with the Goddess. It's quite funny(Well, I don't really know how sad it was to the characters but to me, it kind of appeared to be funny) that Daphne was even more disappointed than Claire. I feel sad for both of them. Overall, they had quite a tour around the city and yet, Claire probably knows nothing of it.

Briefly, they had Daphne in their sights but were intimidated by her domineering gaze.

She had a question on the tip of her tongue when they visited the lions. It was not so easy to find a moment to talk about it. The question was based on an inferential background for herself.